Jump to content

I want to bury the hatchet but I want him to reach out first

biddybiddy

By biddybiddy
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

biddybiddy New Member

biddybiddy

Posted
Posted

Dated a 26 year old for almost 3 years. I am 24 years old. I was his first love. We broke up in March due to a big fight. We have not talked since, although I tried to bury the hatchet after. I have not tried to contact him in about 13 weeks now. I hate having things without closure. I am sad we did not end things peacefully.

 

I got over things pretty well. I realize I held resentment against him because he did not want to move in with me. I have had my own apartment for over a year yet he still wanted to live with his parents. I "dated" one boy since him, but things did not work out. I guess maybe this boy was a rebound, because now I am finally missing my ex after all of this time. He is in a band (as a hobby) and I was tagged in something from the band on Facebook recently. Something about a live practice on Facebook, which never happened. When I went to see the tag, I had already been untagged.

 

According to pictures he posts on social media (he blocked me on everything but my best friend shows me things) he looks terrible. I've heard he is bad on drugs. One girl who always tried to convince him to cheat on me hung out with him once after the breakup but she has been talking to me now apologizing for what she had done and has told me he is not who she thought he was.

 

I am very sad and confused. I hope he is doing well but I think I know he is not doing well.

BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

Posted
Posted

You tried to bury the hatchet once, and it didn't work. What makes you think it will this time? What makes you think his cares or is worrying about making nice with you?

  • Author
biddybiddy New Member

biddybiddy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
You tried to bury the hatchet once, and it didn't work. What makes you think it will this time? What makes you think his cares or is worrying about making nice with you?

 

I randomly got tagged in something posted by his band. Which he is the account holder of. Is 5 months too long? I went from resentment to missing him. % months is long but is not long.

  • Author
biddybiddy New Member

biddybiddy

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I tried to bury the hatchet literally 3 days later so clearly that was not enough time

  • Author
biddybiddy New Member

biddybiddy

Posted
  • Author
Posted

what i am asking is has anyone had someone come back a long time after the stuff hit the fan

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

Posted
Posted
what i am asking is has anyone had someone come back a long time after the stuff hit the fan

 

As actual friends, yes.

 

But usually after a few months? Nope - too soon...

  • Author
biddybiddy New Member

biddybiddy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
As actual friends, yes.

 

But usually after a few months? Nope - too soon...

 

I guess thats what I am hoping for now. maybe someday

Giggles666 Established Member

Giggles666

Posted
Posted

Time is the only thing you can rely on, it may heal you two it may not. Your feelings IMO are normal, but you need o find a way to let them go for now. Work on your own life and maybe one day you will be able to communicate and bury the hatchet.

 

You'll both be ok, love hurts, it's hard having emotions.

  • Author
biddybiddy New Member

biddybiddy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Time is the only thing you can rely on, it may heal you two it may not. Your feelings IMO are normal, but you need o find a way to let them go for now. Work on your own life and maybe one day you will be able to communicate and bury the hatchet.

 

You'll both be ok, love hurts, it's hard having emotions.

 

yea i guess I'm just annoyed with myself because I thought for some time I was over everything. I guess I just need a few days. All confused because something else ended before it began, my ex tagged me, and I'm just frazzeled

springy Established Member

springy

Posted
Posted

He's got you blocked so yeah, I'd leave him alone.

 

Everyone heals at different paces and in different ways after a breakup. He looks terrible? Unfortunate. You think he's on drugs? Really unfortunate. You probably shouldn't follow his life so much through your friends.

 

Lots of times relationships don't end in the way we want them to. I'd say most times actually. Best to just continue moving forward with your life and letting him press forward with his, in whatever way he chooses to do so.

 

If he reaches out someday, sure, try to bury the hatchet. Otherwise, I'd leave him be and accept the silence as all the closure you need.

  • Author
biddybiddy New Member

biddybiddy

Posted
  • Author
Posted
He's got you blocked so yeah, I'd leave him alone.

 

Everyone heals at different paces and in different ways after a breakup. He looks terrible? Unfortunate. You think he's on drugs? Really unfortunate. You probably shouldn't follow his life so much through your friends.

 

Lots of times relationships don't end in the way we want them to. I'd say most times actually. Best to just continue moving forward with your life and letting him press forward with his, in whatever way he chooses to do so.

 

If he reaches out someday, sure, try to bury the hatchet. Otherwise, I'd leave him be and accept the silence as all the closure you need.

 

Thank you for this. I should ask my friend to either delete him, or just not let me know about things. I only know about the drugs because he quit his job and is now working with his good friend who is on drugs. He always kept his distance with this friend when he was with me. I guess I will never know what will happen until it does or does not

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...