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Broke up, Now we are friends.. anyone recovred relashionship doing that!

Ash_cad

By Ash_cad
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Ash_cad Member

Ash_cad

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Hello Everyone..

So after 4 months of a Break up.. Now we are just talking as friends and little more as hours of talk, sharing pics and some little explicit from her side. As we are together but we are not.. We talked about the past 4 months on the dates that we went to and who we flirted with.. she keep saying everyone was boring. she went on one date and she hated it and we went back to the car and cried .. she keeps trying to flirt she gets bored after one day and she has no more well to date anymore.. things like that .. she got little mad about the girls I talk to and I was clear about if there was any sexual encounters during those 4 months apparently both of us didn't have sex with anyone else. we set up some rules so we dont get annoyed or pissed being friends.. Now Im totally over being with her anymore .. I still care for her and love her but not welling to go back to her for now and she is kind of the same we are little turned off about dating and both enjoying the single life.

Now My question is anyone here went through the same thing and actually reconciled after a while and it worked. or this will stay as is

again not too crazy about getting back together and im not sure whats her plan being a friend.. she keeps looking for validation and want me to compliment her. and lot lots of reassurance that she is not with someone else or partying with pictures and location tags that I didnt ask for

but she gets mad and upset very fast if I say something about girls or some silly things .. Like oh you are seeking for attention and things like that( she is too sensitive toward my jokes)

 

thoughts ?

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
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Awful idea. Don't be friends to try to trick her into a relationship. If you're going to be her friend, be her friend -- don't use friendship as a tool to try to push a romantic relationship. If you can't do that, then you can't be her friend.

 

But yeah, horrible, horrible, horrible idea.

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Ash_cad Member

Ash_cad

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Awful idea. Don't be friends to try to trick her into a relationship. If you're going to be her friend, be her friend -- don't use friendship as a tool to try to push a romantic relationship. If you can't do that, then you can't be her friend.

 

But yeah, horrible, horrible, horrible idea.

 

You missed the idea.. I actually not trying to push anything. She starts the talking and all conversations.. Im not looking at all to get back together

 

Was just a question if someone had this happened before

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
You missed the idea.. I actually not trying to push anything. She starts the talking and all conversations.. Im not looking at all to get back together

 

Was just a question if someone had this happened before

 

No, I got the idea just fine. The fact that you are asking the question you're asking shows that you have ulterior motives. And those ulterior motives will not allow a friendship to work.

 

If you were really about being her friend and that's it, you wouldn't ask the question you are asking.

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springy Established Member

springy

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Posted (edited)

"I do love her and want her back" - from your first thread just four days ago. *EDIT - 5 days ago...my bad.

 

Even if you hadn't posted that thread - no way would I buy that you don't want her back. You wouldn't care; wouldn't post a thread asking about it.

 

No need to front, there is no shame in admitting you want your ex back - most people who show up on this site after a breakup do.

 

You are familiar and comfortable, and she may be experiencing a dry spell or is just a good old fashioned attention whore who is enjoying the ego boost she gets off of the hold she still has on you.

 

If I were in your shoes I would block communication so I could move on. This is not a genuine friendship; as you have ulterior motives. Again, no shame in wanting the ex back...but continuing this "friendship" is not beneficial for you. Sounds like it is for her, though (guaranteed ego stroke).

Edited by springy
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LD1990 Established Member

LD1990

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So, in less than a week, you've said:

 

"I do love her and want her back" and:

 

"Nah I will let her crumble and stumble and dig herself in while just sit down and watch her break until she is back being sorry."

 

And now you two are "friends."

 

Simon Phoenix is right, staying in contact with her is a horrible idea.

Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

Posted
Posted

In answer to your question - no.

 

Those that caused this drama have been cut off. Those that have gone on to become friends are just that and its the reason why we broke up... because we are better as friends and don't want anything more.

 

This girl is all over the place. You need to walk away for your own sanity.

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Ash_cad Member

Ash_cad

Posted
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So, in less than a week, you've said:

 

"I do love her and want her back" and:

 

"Nah I will let her crumble and stumble and dig herself in while just sit down and watch her break until she is back being sorry."

 

And now you two are "friends."

 

Simon Phoenix is right, staying in contact with her is a horrible idea.

 

 

You guys are right, Im just confused. Part of me wants her back and part me feels she changed completely .. Throw our the conversation she said some things are positive and some things are not ..such as

- I will never love someone the way I loved you and still love you

- I try to talk to new guys I flirt for one day then Block them because they cant hold a conversation like we did

- I Went on random date and ended up leaving crying after half an hour

- she get upset about me talking to other girls

- she keep messaging if I don't respond she gets upset and keep trying

- she never slept with anyone and there was no sexual contact

 

Not positive

- she said I can see myself dating someone else and I Dont see us together anymore as she see me as a different person

- she is enjoying the single life

- she complimented a guy and she said I see myself dating him if he wasn't engaged ( that was pretty messed up )

- she doesn't see any reconciliation but she wants to keep talking to me

- she gets upset and very sensitive if I see cretin things

-she keeps talking about the past

 

its very frustrating to know what she wants exactly out of this. One day I feel im over her and dont need this stress in my life and one day I feel like I want her back and there is hope

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted
she doesn't see any reconciliation but she wants to keep talking to me

 

^^^ this ^^^

 

Nothing else is relevant.

She gets to be free and single and also have good ole Ash Cad there to listen to her troubles, stop her feeling lonely and give her an ego stroke every now and again.

Great for her, but it leaves you in limbo.

 

People can be real friends with exes, but only when both have moved on and the strong romantic attachment is gone on both sides.

Otherwise the attached one is still pining for what might have been and hoping for what may just happen in the future...

YOU are too attached to just be friends with her right now.

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asphyxis Member

asphyxis

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Posted

After 4 months post break up and you guys are friends? I don't think so, you both sound confused and keep going back to what is familiar. Cut her off and move forward, stop stringing her along.

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Ash_cad Member

Ash_cad

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^^^ this ^^^

 

Nothing else is relevant.

She gets to be free and single and also have good ole Ash Cad there to listen to her troubles, stop her feeling lonely and give her an ego stroke every now and again.

Great for her, but it leaves you in limbo.

 

People can be real friends with exes, but only when both have moved on and the strong romantic attachment is gone on both sides.

Otherwise the attached one is still pining for what might have been and hoping for what may just happen in the future...

YOU are too attached to just be friends with her right now.

 

 

I know I know.. Last 2 days ignored all her messages and moving on with NC. Wish me luck not to break The NC again!

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Toodaloo Established Member

Toodaloo

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I know I know.. Last 2 days ignored all her messages and moving on with NC. Wish me luck not to break The NC again!

 

You don't need luck. Its not about luck.

 

Its about having respect for yourself.

 

When you think about texting or calling her think about a dogs butt... and what comes out of it... because if you contact her that is exactly how she will treat you.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

Posted
Posted
I know I know.. Last 2 days ignored all her messages and moving on with NC. Wish me luck not to break The NC again!

 

You don't need luck. You need a backbone and self-control. And you need to block her on your phone/social media. It's a lot easier to stay strong when you block out all temptation.

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