Girlwithcurls Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I've been on three dates with the same guy. They've been promising dates and he has initiated every one of them. The only problem is our only texting has been to coordinate these dates, which is great for taking it slow...but moving forward I would like us to have more contact if it's going to build to anything more. I'm about to go out of town for a couple weeks at the end of the month and I don't see this going anywhere if we're not in a point where we can check in with each other about our day/communicate more often. I think he would be receptive...I've just been hard wired to always let the guy initiate contact so I'm unsure how to proceed, or how many times I can initiate a conversation before it's too much.
Ami1uwant Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Unsure of a few things..... 1. How frequent were the dates?? Once a week or all 3 in one week? 2. How did you meet? 3. Has there been any talk about n the dates of the pace of dates like just wanting casual dates right now. 4. What did you do on your dates . Some guys don't want to talk between dates if they are dinner dates where you need stuff to talk about for the dates to proceed. If you talked so week before the date for dinner you may have conversation problems which could kill the date. With you going away on business--does he know this? If do he may not be pursuing a relationship right now because countless times early dating and someone going on a vacation or work travel just doesn't work. You go away communication stops, then relationship is forgotten.
Bialy Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 I've just been hard wired to always let the guy initiate contact so I'm unsure how to proceed, or how many times I can initiate a conversation before it's too much. It's 2016... not 1916. He can't read your mind. Initiate contact. Guys love that. It shows you're genuinely interested. If you're waiting and hoping for him to initiate contact first -- you're playing dating games. TAKE THE INITIATIVE! If he is only using texting to coordinate dates, you can start by giving him a phone call to chat and letting him know you'll be on holiday soon and that you'd love to touch base with him during that time. See what he says -- odds are he'll be on board. 1
Lois_Griffin Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Seriously, this guy is texting you to ask you out? That's about as freakin' LAZY as it gets. I'd do what people always had to do before 2005 - actually pick up the phone and call this guy. Throw the ball in his court. Don't be surprised when it goes to voice mail and you get a return text instead of a call. SO lame. 1
Author Girlwithcurls Posted August 7, 2016 Author Posted August 7, 2016 Unsure of a few things..... 1. How frequent were the dates?? Once a week or all 3 in one week? 2. How did you meet? 3. Has there been any talk about n the dates of the pace of dates like just wanting casual dates right now. 4. What did you do on your dates . Some guys don't want to talk between dates if they are dinner dates where you need stuff to talk about for the dates to proceed. If you talked so week before the date for dinner you may have conversation problems which could kill the date. With you going away on business--does he know this? If do he may not be pursuing a relationship right now because countless times early dating and someone going on a vacation or work travel just doesn't work. You go away communication stops, then relationship is forgotten. So the dates have all been a week/few days apart. They've been great, started with beers on the beach, then the aquarium and dinner, and just now a board game night with his friends. We even have a date night set for two weeks from now and will probably see each other in between. I can tell he's interested...I guess I'm just worried about me being the one who initiates texting too often. I know it sounds paranoid but this is the furthest I've gotten in the dating world in probably a year. So many first dates and one guy for a 6 months that would point to things that I did that were "needy" when ever I asked about going further. Looking at that with other people though he had some of his own problems..but it's made me really paranoid with other people. This new guy is great, but I think I need to hear from him more if he's going to be someone I want a real relationship with
NoMoreJerks Posted August 8, 2016 Posted August 8, 2016 My question is: do you really want to go there???? I mean, do you want to turn texts , which are already his primary way of setting up dates, into the primary means of communication between you two? That has been the single biggest mistake I have made with some of my exes. It got them used to lazy communication. Every now and then, a bit of a text is fine, to check in when one is busy, etc. But my advice is for you to avoid turning it into an all-day communication/conversation tool. Instead, you should worry about the fact that he does not even call you to set up dates. I would drop a hint the next time you see him. Say something like, I like talking on the phone. Say it in a matter of fact tone, nothing sarcastic or negative or anything like that.
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