OLD salary requirements

[MissBee]

Yup

 

I don’t think a woman frankly should be posting income, information.

 

For me I focus on education background. With OLD profiles you can just tell (writing style, pictures, hairstyle, WHERE they take pictures, hobbies)

 

If someone is living a “comfortable” lifestyle, especially women, you can tell without posting how much you make. Men generally exaggerate and can post crap to make themselves look like that have a few dollars. But if a man has “real money/wealth” they are NOT on ANY dating sites....

 

ok maybe a few...

 

It's very tacky indeed, because even during a relationship I don't ask anyone what they make. It may come up organically during our relationship, but it's certainly not a pertinent question or something I openly ask. As you said, from their education, lifestyle, career, I know what I need to know to assess whether or not we may share similar lifestyles and if they can sustain themselves and can guess enough about their income....I don't need a paystub or to look at their bank account.

[normal person]

I don't have a problem with declaring you enjoy travelling but I do have a problem with OLD sites that ask for income. Of course they are optional but I still think it's ridiculous and anyone who does fill it out is either boasting in which case they'll get what they deserve or they're stirring the pot for sh*ts and giggles. Anyone who gives a real damn wouldn't play into it. Just my two cents.

 

I think this is a bit much. Not everyone (I would guess even the overwhelming majority) lists it to "boast." Most people earn an average income anyways, that's nothing to boast about. Some people, like me, consider profession and income as an indication of lifestyle, achievement, success, etc. If you worked your ass off to get into that top income bracket, you're probably going to be inclined to look for a partner who's done similar things to get there as well and has a similar lifestyle. Even if income is listed in the profile or not, I'd eventually be very curious to know how much someone made to get a good indication of what type of relationship I can expect out of them. Am I going to be paying for everything all the time? Am I going to be paying off this person's debt? Will this person be able to help me pay for the house I want, or will I have to compromise on it because they can't contribute? Does this person want kids, how many, how does she plan to afford them, etc?

 

Money is important to a lot of people whether or not they want to admit it. We can try and denounce people for saying it, but it's the truth. If you chalk up financial info to "boasting" then you're really denying yourself a lot of pragmatic info that can save you a lifetime of trouble down the line.

[Larryville]

Money is important to a lot of people whether or not they want to admit it. We can try and denounce people for saying it, but it's the truth. If you chalk up financial info to "boasting" then you're really denying yourself a lot of pragmatic info that can save you a lifetime of trouble down the line.

 

NP I don’t disagree with this, I will admit money is important to me in terms of I have NO interest in someone who is broke, can’t handle money, make poor financial choices but how much someone makes (what would be posted on an OLD profile) does not give you an indication of sound financial health, why I don’t focus on $ amount, but YES if they are on the bottom end of the scale regardless of looks I’m not bothering.

 

I went out with a women briefly, on her profile she listed a salary a step up from mine. Upon talking she told me where she worked, was an executive assistant to a prominent hospital executive who I knew.

 

HOWEVER, upon meeting #1 first date drinks, she never even hints at wanting to pay or contribute. I don’t care I always pay but just the hint of (can I get the tip) makes an impression.

 

Date #2 she wants to go to a casino. Yes red flag...

 

Date #3 same I’m gonna pay attitude. Other behaviors put me off… but hey…

She hints at wanting another date, I’m not sure but say WTF, (yes she was hot, only reason I bothered) I ask did she want me to pick her up at her place, she indicates meet me out front. I'm like WTF!

 

She finally admits on the 4th outing (was not paying for any more crap) went on a dog walk that she was living with her daughter. Another revelation she said that she had won a lottery a few years back $40,000 and the capper used it to buy a brand new freaking car.

 

My point how much someone makes does not even begin to tell you the entire story. This was some time ago my investigative research IS MUCH BETTER today.

[SevenCity]

I think this is a bit much. Not everyone (I would guess even the overwhelming majority) lists it to "boast." Most people earn an average income anyways, that's nothing to boast about. Some people, like me, consider profession and income as an indication of lifestyle, achievement, success, etc. If you worked your ass off to get into that top income bracket, you're probably going to be inclined to look for a partner who's done similar things to get there as well and has a similar lifestyle. Even if income is listed in the profile or not, I'd eventually be very curious to know how much someone made to get a good indication of what type of relationship I can expect out of them. Am I going to be paying for everything all the time? Am I going to be paying off this person's debt? Will this person be able to help me pay for the house I want, or will I have to compromise on it because they can't contribute? Does this person want kids, how many, how does she plan to afford them, etc?

 

Money is important to a lot of people whether or not they want to admit it. We can try and denounce people for saying it, but it's the truth. If you chalk up financial info to "boasting" then you're really denying yourself a lot of pragmatic info that can save you a lifetime of trouble down the line.

 

 

This is a narrow view. I've met people who make a lot of money who are in debt up to their eyeballs. Just because someone makes over $100k is no indication if they are sound financially. For that, they would need to list a income to debt ratio as if you were applying for a mortgage.

 

Also, someone who makes $50k and has an appartment with no car can have a TON more disposable income than one who has a $100k salary and mortgage. Same can be said for people with kids - I'm sure a large part of their income goes to supporting them.

 

My ex made more than me after I lost my job and got a lower paying one but she also has a ton of debt - other than my mortgage I have none. I also have money in the bank.

 

Another thing I've seen is women's profiles who list required income for guys but DONT LIST THEIR OWN.

 

To correct your statement, income is important to WOMEN. Most men don't care as long as you can pay your own way and aren't looking for a sugar daddy. We often look at houses of what we can afford, not what what a woman can "help pay for".

[normal person]

My point how much someone makes does not even begin to tell you the entire story. This was some time ago my investigative research IS MUCH BETTER today.

 

Valid, but just because this happens sometimes doesn't mean it happens all the time, or even the majority of the time. I don't know any high earners who aren't financially sound and responsible. In my experience, people who have the drive, work ethic, and responsibility that's often correlated with higher earning potential tend to be as responsible with their money. Just my experience. For every 1 horror story of a doctor in debt up to his eyeballs, there are a dozen who are completely sensible with their finances.

 

This is a narrow view. I've met people who make a lot of money who are in debt up to their eyeballs. Just because someone makes over $100k is no indication if they are sound financially. For that, they would need to list a income to debt ratio as if you were applying for a mortgage.

 

Look, I'm not saying income is the definitive indicator of financial health. But it's a pretty good one. Someone who makes $120K is a lot more likely to be solvent than someone who makes $20k.

 

To correct your statement, income is important to WOMEN. Most men don't care as long as you can pay your own way and aren't looking for a sugar daddy. We often look at houses of what we can afford, not what what a woman can "help pay for".

 

Speak for yourself. I want a women who makes as much as possible. I don't want a women who's totally dependent on me. More money between two people is better than less.

[Els]

Gone are the days when the two worked together to build a life.

 

I'm not sure what you're going on about. In the "good ol' days", a man was expected to be the SOLE breadwinner. Women working outside the home was not a thing until the 20th century. Granted both parties did 'work together', but they worked in very different ways - the woman worked at home bringing up the children, and the man worked outside.

[SevenCity]

I just saw another profile tonight that read "*please make sure you meet or exceed my income"

 

And yes, the asterisk was in her profile. She made $150k+

[SevenCity]

Valid, but just because this happens sometimes doesn't mean it happens all the time, or even the majority of the time. I don't know any high earners who aren't financially sound and responsible. In my experience, people who have the drive, work ethic, and responsibility that's often correlated with higher earning potential tend to be as responsible with their money. Just my experience. For every 1 horror story of a doctor in debt up to his eyeballs, there are a dozen who are completely sensible with their finances.

 

 

 

Look, I'm not saying income is the definitive indicator of financial health. But it's a pretty good one. Someone who makes $120K is a lot more likely to be solvent than someone who makes $20k.

 

 

 

Speak for yourself. I want a women who makes as much as possible. I don't want a women who's totally dependent on me. More money between two people is better than less.

 

Ok, but would you reject a woman because she doesn't make DOUBLE or TRIPLE your salary?

 

I don't knowany guys that would. Yet a see a bunch of women who would on the site.

[normal person]

Ok, but would you reject a woman because she doesn't make DOUBLE or TRIPLE your salary?

 

The contingent of of women out there making 2-3x what I do is microscopic, so it's a non issue anyways.

 

For now, I would however, probably hesitate before going out with someone who didn't make at least enough to live in Manhattan (even with a roommate) and not live paycheck to paycheck, so figure at least $70-80K. Not unreasonable given the cost of living here.

 

I don't knowany guys that would. Yet a see a bunch of women who would on the site.

 

You're conflating the way men and women often view each others' worth. A women's sexual currency usually isn't her earning power, it's in her looks and whatnot. A man's currency is oftentimes in his earning power, success, and/or wealth. Women might expect a man to make more and men might expect a women to look good. It's an oversimplification, but an explanation. There's a reason you frequently see rich guys (regardless of what they look like) and very good looking women (regardless of what they make). But if the girl isn't good looking enough, or doesn't have anything of value to a rich guy, he has no use for her and she'll feel the wrath of the market.

 

Example: I'm on a dating website for successful men, you'd be surprised how many completely unappealing (in most conceivable ways) women will message as if they have any chance, even if by some stretch she makes a lot of money. Now take a supermodel looking girl with a minimal salary and she can probably have her choice of any millionaire around. One time I got messaged from a Canadian women who was in her late 30s, was well spoken and whatnot, but left something to be desired in the looks department. Anyways, she gives this spiel about how she's from some wealthy aristocratic family or whatever, and even had a dowry and wouldn't even sign a pre-nup, and she was really looking for someone. Regardless of all that, she wasn't really my cup of tea so I politely declined and then she sent me another message asking why I thought men didn't want her despite all her money and everything, she seemed pretty upset and desperate like it wasn't the first time it happened. I didn't have the heart to tell her I just didn't find her that attractive, or that she just wasn't my type (older, lived far away, too fancy, etc), so I just made up something about difference in lifestyle since nothing I said would've helped the situation. I won't lie, for a second my lizard brain considered the possibilities when she she said dowry and no-prenup, but the other part of my lizard brain eventually prevailed -- she just wasn't that attractive and I felt nothing towards her, even though it'd be an easy ticket to retiring at 30.

 

I also used to date a dentist for a while, she was very attractive, and she told me her only real requirement was that the guy be taller and more successful than her.

 

The bottom line is, most men don't demand a specific salary from a woman because that's not what's important to him. But looks and other things are. Conversely, you'll see women with high earning men regardless of what the guy looks like.

 

I honestly think this is one way men have huge advantage in the dating field, so I don't know why any guy would complain about it. All you have do is put in the hard work studying and get a great job, it won't matter to most women if you're not Channing Tatum. But if you're a woman that men find inherently unattractive, there's not much you can do at all, even if you're rolling in cash.

[PegNosePete]

Is this a typical pattern for women on OLD?

No more typical than non-OLD women. OLD ones are just more up-front about it, that's all. It's easier to avoid them.

 

And who's got time for all this travel? How much vacation time do people get?

I get 5 weeks. So far this year I've been skiing, Ecuador and the Galapagos and going to Scotland and Corsica soon. Last year I went skiing, Canada, Jordan, Poland. The year before, Nepal, Sorrento, skiing, Austria, Isle of Wight.

[SwordofFlame]

The contingent of of women out there making 2-3x what I do is microscopic, so it's a non issue anyways.

 

For now, I would however, probably hesitate before going out with someone who didn't make at least enough to live in Manhattan (even with a roommate) and not live paycheck to paycheck, so figure at least $70-80K. Not unreasonable given the cost of living here.

 

 

 

You're conflating the way men and women often view each others' worth. A women's sexual currency usually isn't her earning power, it's in her looks and whatnot. A man's currency is oftentimes in his earning power, success, and/or wealth. Women might expect a man to make more and men might expect a women to look good. It's an oversimplification, but an explanation. There's a reason you frequently see rich guys (regardless of what they look like) and very good looking women (regardless of what they make). But if the girl isn't good looking enough, or doesn't have anything of value to a rich guy, he has no use for her and she'll feel the wrath of the market.

 

Example: I'm on a dating website for successful men, you'd be surprised how many completely unappealing (in most conceivable ways) women will message as if they have any chance, even if by some stretch she makes a lot of money. Now take a supermodel looking girl with a minimal salary and she can probably have her choice of any millionaire around. One time I got messaged from a Canadian women who was in her late 30s, was well spoken and whatnot, but left something to be desired in the looks department. Anyways, she gives this spiel about how she's from some wealthy aristocratic family or whatever, and even had a dowry and wouldn't even sign a pre-nup, and she was really looking for someone. Regardless of all that, she wasn't really my cup of tea so I politely declined and then she sent me another message asking why I thought men didn't want her despite all her money and everything, she seemed pretty upset and desperate like it wasn't the first time it happened. I didn't have the heart to tell her I just didn't find her that attractive, or that she just wasn't my type (older, lived far away, too fancy, etc), so I just made up something about difference in lifestyle since nothing I said would've helped the situation. I won't lie, for a second my lizard brain considered the possibilities when she she said dowry and no-prenup, but the other part of my lizard brain eventually prevailed -- she just wasn't that attractive and I felt nothing towards her, even though it'd be an easy ticket to retiring at 30.

 

I also used to date a dentist for a while, she was very attractive, and she told me her only real requirement was that the guy be taller and more successful than her.

 

The bottom line is, most men don't demand a specific salary from a woman because that's not what's important to him. But looks and other things are. Conversely, you'll see women with high earning men regardless of what the guy looks like.

 

I honestly think this is one way men have huge advantage in the dating field, so I don't know why any guy would complain about it. All you have do is put in the hard work studying and get a great job, it won't matter to most women if you're not Channing Tatum. But if you're a woman that men find inherently unattractive, there's not much you can do at all, even if you're rolling in cash.

 

Completely agree. I don't really know any guys who consider a woman's salary to be important. All I require is a college degree and a decent job of some sort. Just don't be unemployed and living with your parents.

 

I think some women think having a great salary is attractive to men because that's exactly what they're looking for in a man.

 

But men just don't think that way. Much in the same way that men and women's attitudes towards sex are different.

[MissBee]

I just saw another profile tonight that read "*please make sure you meet or exceed my income"

 

And yes, the asterisk was in her profile. She made $150k+

 

This makes sense.

 

She doesn't want a man who makes less money than her. He should make the same amount or more.

 

I don't see the problem. This isn't the same as the case you presented before where someone who made 30k was requiring someone who made 100k plus. There is more parity in this case where the person is looking for their income equal at minimum, which is a reasonable request, as in many cases where a woman makes a lot more than a man, some men can get very insecure and weird about it or just on a practical level their lifestyles are totally different....so it makes sense to at minimum have similar financial situations to avoid those two issues.

Edited August 11, 2016 by MissBee

[Larryville]

in many cases where a woman makes a lot more than a man, some men can get very insecure and weird about it or just on a practical level their lifestyles are totally different....so it makes sense to at minimum have similar financial situations to avoid those two issues.

 

True, and there is a cultural component to this as well (being that this site if viewed by folks from a good chunk of the world)

 

This financial dynamic is going to get worse as time goes on because women are (or have already) passed men in terms of education.

 

From an old article:

 

U.S. women now lead men in educational attainment for the first time since the Census began tracking the measure in 1940. Women have earned more than half of bachelor’s degrees each year since the early 1980s.

 

The fields where men dominated in the industrial age are disappearing. More and more women are getting advanced degrees and are earning much more money.

Being on an equal financial footing is not just about bank accounts As Ms.B talks about. More dudes living with and depending on parents not even seeking any kind of independence. The last thing a woman needs to deal with is some insecure broke dude. Not sexy or remotely attractive.

[Shining One]

Frankly, I think more men should pay attention to women's salary and earning potential (at least if you're planning for marriage). Men get screwed over on child support and alimony because they don't think about a woman's income. Personally, I will date a woman as long as her income supports her and her lifestyle, even if that income is considerably lower than mine. I can date her indefinitely. However, marriage is not on the table unless there is some sort of financial parity. I can't fault women for "playing to win".

[Majormisstep]

I must be on the most "respectful" OLD site up here in Canada, eh. The men - at least in their original profile - may write that they prefer ladies who are physically fit but are generally politically correct and don't delve into more specific requirements.

 

Haven't read any female profiles requesting minimum income requirements but at some of the coffee dates I've been on, the fellow mentioned that they were propositioned heavily, being offered sexual favours of all kinds, if they would make car payments or lend money for and to these female suitors. Crazy.

 

Anyway, back to your original point...I love to travel (and do so frequently for work) and can comfortably support myself. I'd feel guilty having someone pay my way.

 

Good luck in your search LOL!

[Gr8fuln2020]

This is a narrow view. I've met people who make a lot of money who are in debt up to their eyeballs. Just because someone makes over $100k is no indication if they are sound financially. For that, they would need to list a income to debt ratio as if you were applying for a mortgage.

 

Absolutely!

 

Also, someone who makes $50k and has an appartment with no car can have a TON more disposable income than one who has a $100k salary and mortgage. Same can be said for people with kids - I'm sure a large part of their income goes to supporting them.

 

Yes, but one cannot underestimate the power of living at or below one's means. I have children and save tons and still able to do a lot.

 

My ex made more than me after I lost my job and got a lower paying one but she also has a ton of debt - other than my mortgage I have none. I also have money in the bank.

 

Sounds familiar.

 

Another thing I've seen is women's profiles who list required income for guys but DONT LIST THEIR OWN.

 

Yup. Especially the more attractive ladies and professional. I also love it when they use code words and activities that automatically alert you to their "more extravagant" needs/desires.

 

To correct your statement, income is important to WOMEN. Most men don't care as long as you can pay your own way and aren't looking for a sugar daddy. We often look at houses of what we can afford, not what what a woman can "help pay for".

 

For the most part, yes. I dated a woman whose idea of simple was not having a nice® house, but you better have enough to go on trips, cruises, etc. to keep her adventurous life going.