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I always feel rejected and used

cherie88

By cherie88
in General Relationship Discussion

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cherie88 Member

cherie88

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Sometimes I wonder how I'm still sane. I have virtually no confidence or self esteem anymore. A while back me and this guy hit it off, and he invited me over late one night and said he wanted to have a "talk" me coming over that night he told me that he wasn't over his ex, I began to feel used and upset. He also said that she couldn't know about us because she would get very upset. As soon as I went home I told him that we could take it slow and we can figure it out and we should have makeup sex, he later told me no and he wasn't that kind of guy and he has important things to do like his business and I'm not important right now. I felt used and snapped on him completely and he told me he was done talking to me. Later on I find out he got back with his ex girlfriend and sent me this

 

Eyyo I don't like to leave things off bad so I wanted to say a couple things. I respect you and I enjoyed the time we spent together. I think we misunderstood each other on some things. And I'm sorry about the way I handled it, it must've felt like I didn't care. I was under a lot of pressure I wasn't used to dealing with and it affected the way I acted.

 

You don't have to respond, but if you do, we can talk. I hope you're doing good

 

 

I didn't respond and I deleted him off social media. I couldn't tell if he was being genuine, recently I found out not only are they back together but he took her out to Montreal right around the time he was done with me for her birthday. I'm so angry and hurt and upset even though months have passed by already. He treated her like a queen and all this time I was involuntarily hidden. The worst part is that she will never know. This has been consuming me because I always get treated this way as if I'm irrelevant

LostOnes05 Established Member

LostOnes05

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry that happened to you, BUT you were setting yourself up to be a side chick anyway by "taking it slow" with someone that expressed they wanted to be with someone else. And then you were trying to use sex to solidify a rocky "relationship". If someone brings up not being over an ex it's best to walk away completely and let them resolve those feelings. And remember that the role you accept is the one you will be given.

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Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
Posted (edited)

I would tell her girlfriend about 'us', the truth.

Edited by Springsummer
Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
Posted
He also said that she couldn't know about us because she would get very upset. As soon as I went home I told him that we could take it slow and we can figure it out and we should have makeup sex, he later told me no and he wasn't that kind of guy and he has important things to do like his business and I'm not important right now.

 

I suspect this is one of the reasons he treats her like a queen while you are irrelevant.

 

She couldn't know.....while you offer makeup sex. yes, I suppose on some level people treat us the ways we allow them to treat.

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cherie88 Member

cherie88

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I should clarify , that when I snapped on him. I thought I was being harsh but turns he out he doesn't give a **** about me. I was saying that to

Lighten the mood and he told me at the time

He wanted to figure things out..

I don't think I deserved that .. I told him that I think I atleast deserve an explanation and he told me to get lost as if I didn't trust him and support his stupid events

The fact that he texted me that while he's with his girl is so insulting towards me

Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
Posted
I hate existing

 

Don't! He is not worth it.

 

I learnt a hard lesson in life: We shouldn't let others' opinions define us. I try not to give the others that power. We have the right to exist simply because we are borne.

 

We are equal, even the world doesn't appear to be so.

 

Yes, there are people who don't respect me and constantly try to put me down as well. I felt very low, even though actually I am a good person and haven't done anybody else wrong.

 

 

Roosevelt Eleanor said: Nobody can make us inferior without our consent.

Often those people who try to make us feel inferior are bully, they try that on people that appear to them as weak. Bet these people will never even attempt to try that trick on people who are stronger than them.

 

you see, I grew up believing everything wrong was my fault.

 

Accepting this truth makes me free: Some people are just pure evil and mean. it's not necessary my faults. you see, my problem was that I always assume people are good.

Springsummer Established Member

Springsummer

Posted
Posted
I should clarify , that when I snapped on him. I thought I was being harsh but turns he out he doesn't give a **** about me. I was saying that to

Lighten the mood and he told me at the time

He wanted to figure things out..

I don't think I deserved that .. I told him that I think I atleast deserve an explanation and he told me to get lost as if I didn't trust him and support his stupid events

The fact that he texted me that while he's with his girl is so insulting towards me

 

This is definitely not a kind person. Consider yourself lucky that you longer with him.

 

I was a very stupid person(not related to relationship) too. now I gained a bit of wisdom as I age.

Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
Posted (edited)
Sometimes I wonder how I'm still sane. I have virtually no confidence or self esteem anymore. A while back me and this guy hit it off, and he invited me over late one night and said he wanted to have a "talk" me coming over that night he told me that he wasn't over his ex, I began to feel used and upset. He also said that she couldn't know about us because she would get very upset. As soon as I went home I told him that we could take it slow and we can figure it out and we should have makeup sex, he later told me no and he wasn't that kind of guy and he has important things to do like his business and I'm not important right now. I felt used and snapped on him completely and he told me he was done talking to me. Later on I find out he got back with his ex girlfriend and sent me this

 

Eyyo I don't like to leave things off bad so I wanted to say a couple things. I respect you and I enjoyed the time we spent together. I think we misunderstood each other on some things. And I'm sorry about the way I handled it, it must've felt like I didn't care. I was under a lot of pressure I wasn't used to dealing with and it affected the way I acted.

 

You don't have to respond, but if you do, we can talk. I hope you're doing good

 

 

I didn't respond and I deleted him off social media. I couldn't tell if he was being genuine, recently I found out not only are they back together but he took her out to Montreal right around the time he was done with me for her birthday. I'm so angry and hurt and upset even though months have passed by already. He treated her like a queen and all this time I was involuntarily hidden. The worst part is that she will never know. This has been consuming me because I always get treated this way as if I'm irrelevant

 

From the first day he told you he was still involved with his ex, I would have walked away and told him to not contact me until he made a decision.

 

Be thankful that he was upfront with you about where you stand here. Some guys, like my current dude, won't be upfront with you; and, you have to sit there and wonder if there's someone else and what may/may not be going on.

 

So, IMO, he did right by you by letting you know that there's another woman in the picture. He gave you the tools to decide if you wanna stay or go. IMO, he's not responsible for your decision to stay or go after he was upfront with you that he's been working you both at the same time.

 

And, quite frankly, I don't see why you are upset if he told you what's up. Wanna hear upset? A guy trying to BS you. My dude wants to tell me he was cleaning up for a "guy" to come visit him? Guys don't clean up for guys to visit them - they do it for a female. And, we women have that intuition. I knew something was up when he wasn't responsive to intimate texts I sent him. Now, we did have some issues with me proposing him moving in that could also be why he's acting funny - but still, I think there's another woman and he's insulting me cuz he's giving me this BS story about a guy friend and believes I'm an idiot or something. So, I don't see where this guy is insulting you or playing you. I feel like I'm being insulted and played. So again, thank your blessings that you have a good guy - a guy who is upfront with you about whether or not another woman is in the picture.

 

Sorry.

Edited by Gloria25
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cherie88 Member

cherie88

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From the first day he told you he was still involved with his ex, I would have walked away and told him to not contact me until he made a decision.

 

Be thankful that he was upfront with you about where you stand here. Some guys, like my current dude, won't be upfront with you; and, you have to sit there and wonder if there's someone else and what may/may not be going on.

 

So, IMO, he did right by you by letting you know that there's another woman in the picture. He gave you the tools to decide if you wanna stay or go. IMO, he's not responsible for your decision to stay or go after he was upfront with you that he's been working you both at the same time.

 

And, quite frankly, I don't see why you are upset if he told you what's up. Wanna hear upset? A guy trying to BS you. My dude wants to tell me he was cleaning up for a "guy" to come visit him? Guys don't clean up for guys to visit them - they do it for a female. And, we women have that intuition. I knew something was up when he wasn't responsive to intimate texts I sent him. Now, we did have some issues with me proposing him moving in that could also be why he's acting funny - but still, I think there's another woman and he's insulting me cuz he's giving me this BS story about a guy friend and believes I'm an idiot or something. So, I don't see where this guy is insulting you or playing you. I feel like I'm being insulted and played. So again, thank your blessings that you have a good guy - a guy who is upfront with you about whether or not another woman is in the picture.

 

Sorry.

 

 

He didn't tell me after the first day he told

Me three months later

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cherie88 Member

cherie88

Posted
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After him telling me bs that he's never dated someone like me and getting to know me three months later he tells me that why I feel used

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cherie88 Member

cherie88

Posted
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Posted
He didn't tell me after the first day he told

Me three months later

 

From the first day he told you he was still involved with his ex, I would have walked away and told him to not contact me until he made a decision.

 

Be thankful that he was upfront with you about where you stand here. Some guys, like my current dude, won't be upfront with you; and, you have to sit there and wonder if there's someone else and what may/may not be going on.

 

So, IMO, he did right by you by letting you know that there's another woman in the picture. He gave you the tools to decide if you wanna stay or go. IMO, he's not responsible for your decision to stay or go after he was upfront with you that he's been working you both at the same time.

 

And, quite frankly, I don't see why you are upset if he told you what's up. Wanna hear upset? A guy trying to BS you. My dude wants to tell me he was cleaning up for a "guy" to come visit him? Guys don't clean up for guys to visit them - they do it for a female. And, we women have that intuition. I knew something was up when he wasn't responsive to intimate texts I sent him. Now, we did have some issues with me proposing him moving in that could also be why he's acting funny - but still, I think there's another woman and he's insulting me cuz he's giving me this BS story about a guy friend and believes I'm an idiot or something. So, I don't see where this guy is insulting you or playing you. I feel like I'm being insulted and played. So again, thank your blessings that you have a good guy - a guy who is upfront with you about whether or not another woman is in the picture.

 

Sorry.[/

Why on earth would I get upset at someone I barley know. He told me to get lost as if I never existed and never invested any feelings so yeah on some level I feel betrayed . He invited me to have sex and then told me this

spiderowl Established Member

spiderowl

Posted
Posted

I'm sorry about what happening. You can only learn from this. You need to pay attention to a guy's behaviour not so much what he says. He might say he cares for you and respects you, then expects to meet somewhere not so nice as you would have liked or 'hides' you. His behaviour says a lot. Sometimes guys half believe what they are saying anyway. They don't always know what they want but you can tell by their behaviour.

 

It is no reflection on you. A lovely guy will come along who treats you properly and who loves you. You just haven't met that guy yet (or maybe you have and haven't recognised him yet). You are a genuine person who has a lot to offer the right guy. Don't think that because one guy behaved like crap that it is anything to do with how valuable you are. Attraction is a strange thing and the next guy you get to know could fall madly in love with you and worship the ground you walk on. Romance is like that, totally unpredictable.

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