He doesn't understand that I'm not interested

[phineas]

I am moved out, she still likes to control my life anyway lol

 

If you are not dependent on her for anything then, Ignore her for 1 week the next time she tries to control your life.

 

Don't even acknowledge her telling you what to do or trying to but in.

Just full on No Contact.

 

After week, if she still hasn't gotten the idea make it two more weeks and so on.

She will get the idea eventually that she can be a part of your life but has no control over it.

 

As for the guy, is he good looking enough for you or not?

Sounds like he isn't because most women of all ages will go out with a "hot" guy even if he has the personality of a wet sock.

Edited August 6, 2016 by phineas

[anthonyflame]

My mom is worried about my "single" status at my age (24) so she set me up with a relative of my step dad. He is 21 years old and lives about an hour away. We have been texting everyday for about a week and as we were doing so I realized right away that we were not a good match. He stopped texting me for about 2 weeks so I assumed he wasn't feeling it either and I moved on. Then suddenly he came back and texted me saying that he broke his phone and he had to buy a new one and he explained that's the reason why he didn't keep in touch. I said "fine" and he started texting me again.

 

As time went on it grew more and more obvious to me that he isn't the one for me. We literally have nothing in common and all of our conversations are tedious and awkward. He texts me all day every day and I seriously dread hearing from him now. I told my mom that I'm not into him but she is forcing me to keep it up telling me that I "never give a chance to good guys who want to date me" (I'm 24 and I've never been in a relationship) but I really don't like this guy.

 

I tried to tell him that I'm more interested in friendship right now and that I've got a lot on my plate so I'd prefer if we just texted as friends, but he didn't get it. He just said "yeah, I think it would be best if we took it slow."

 

So I scheduled a date ASAP so that we could get it over with and so I could tell my mom and myself that I atleast gave it a try before ending things. We were supposed to go out for lunch Sunday afternoon. He agreed at first but a few days later he said that he forgot that he had a picnic at work that day. I took that as a hint that he couldn't make it but then he texted me later and told me "I can miss this one besides I'd rather meet you." Then just yesterday he texted me saying "is it ok if we don't go out for lunch? As much as I want to I'm completely broke right now." At this point I was fed up. I told him "you seem very nervous and I am starting to feel a bit nervous myself, so how bout I let you off the hook? I'm starting to think that things won't work out between us." He once again, didn't understand that I was trying to reject him. He said "I'm not trying to make you feel nervous, let's just take things slow and see where they go from there. I'd like for things to go further eventually, that's what I wanted from the start." But if he wanted to take things slow why does he need to know what I'm up to every minute of every day? This guy makes me feel suffocated.

 

i called off the date for Sunday last night but this morning I woke up to a text from him that said "let me know if you still want to go out Sunday. I've got a little bit left for lunch if you are down." His indecisiveness is pissing me off and making me super anxious/nervous because I hate when dates bail on me the last minute. I don't want to "take it slow" with someone I'm not into. It just a waste of my time and energy. At this point I just want to give up and tell my mom to tell him I'm not interested just so he'd understand. What should I do?

Use reverse psychology to make him not like you. Then tell your mom he stopped talking/texting you and that you've moved on. That way you don't break his heart nor do you have to stand up to your mom.

 

What will you have to say to make him not like you? Idk. You know him much better than we do so make something up.

 

^Thats just an alternative to the very 2 obvious solutions. One being stand up to your mom, the other is brutally telling him that you don't like him and he needs to leave you alone (none of this we can stay friends bs)

 

Good luck

[joseb]

He doesn't understand that you are not interested because you have not told him clearly.

 

Your mum is trying to control your life because you have not told her to but out.

 

You need to start actually living your own life.

 

Stringing him along is doing him no favours. Think about all the time and energy he is investing thinking he is getting somewhere.

 

And acting like you are still a child isn't good for your relationships with your mum either. She might actually welcome it if you start to stand up for yourself.

[anna121]

So just tell him. "I'm sorry, but I'm not feeling that we are a good match. Take care!" And then don't reply when he texts. Your plan of arranging a date to "get it over with" sends a signal that you ARE interested, so don't do that.

 

This. You just tell him you are not interested very simply, not unkindly but you MUST be crystal clear.

 

I agree you are giving him mixed signals. That is actually unfair to him.

[spiderowl]

I just want to know how can I make it clear to him that I'm not interested without being mean? He really seems like a nice guy I don't want to hurt his feelings but I want him to understand.

 

I'm aware that my mom is emotionally manipulative but no one agrees with me and she's one of the only supports I have in life. If I go against her she withdrawals support.

 

You just text him and say 'You seem a nice guy but I am not interested in a romantic relationship with you." If he still doesn't get it, then stop texting him altogether and tell your mum she can't choose your husband for you.

 

I think you are trying to be nice to him and your mum, but sometimes being clear is more important than appearing to be nice. If you are to get this message across to him you need to been clear.

[MGX]

Batjokes92, you should just be nice, but firm and tell this man that there is no relationship here and you aren't interested in him. This is a huge waste of time for both of you. He thinks you like him and you don't want to deal with him.

 

Please don't prolong this any further. The longer it goes on the worse it will get.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

well, first of all, sounds like your mother is a real life Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice!

 

Secondly, being a hot young 24-year-old girl means you have your options, and you're not an old woman looking at the barrel of 80 years old. Even if you were, I'm sure you would STILL have options, so do not settle for someone just because there is pressure too, even from your mother.

 

Remind your mom that you are not lonely. Every parent usually cares for their child's happiness. My mom would love for me to find the right guy but would love me to be happy in MY skin first. My sister is frightfully insecure and married with three children. Marriage has not taken away her insecurities, in most circumstances marriage/relationships can exasperate them. Remind your mother of this.

 

 

This guy seems lonely and desperate. I have been on loads of guys who do this. It is subtle manipulation on their part. Guys who have heard the word NO but pretend that the NO is just a minor "delaying the process" so they still try even if YOU KNOW and THEY KNOW that you have absolutely nothing, NOTHING in common.

 

Some people tend to believe that a lovely single girl who has never had a partner, doesn't know what she wants and so, therefore, doesn't know what is good for her because she hasn't got previous experience to back it up.They will try endlessly to try and CONVINCE you that they are right for you and they know what's best for you. I know this because it has happened to me too. Thank your mother for her concern, and tell the guy you know what you're looking for, and if you are at home, I would suggest packing your bags and moving out.

 

Nothing is more beautiful in a woman than a woman that knows herself and knows what she deserves. Don't let anyone convince you that you need to settle because it is expected at 24 that you need to do this. You have plenty of time and plenty of life to live! Enjoy your life on your terms and at the right time, the right guy will come along, someone you actually like!

[James527]

Tell him and your mother you aren't interested.