What are your dating boundaries?

[Curiousroxy86]

not trying to force me to do things i dont want to do....

 

I like this. I have dated alpha maple types who were a little bossy. I don't think I personally would walk away from a guy who had this personality type because not all alpha male types are evil dictators but my boundary would definitely be a polite but firm "no thank you" or offering alternative. I mean he has no choice but to respect my decision or walk away from me lol. I would walk away if he gets to the point that he is forceful though

[Shining One]

I don't want to assume that your a man but I will admit that this post made me wonder if you are.

Yes, I'm a man.

If so I would like to ask your opinion about the never offer to pay. If you are asking her out every time you expect her to contribute on those dates or do you consider it a contribution if she ask you to places too?

If she's not into planning, I'm okay with her just paying. Just asking me to places and not contributing is not acceptable.

Cause I'm thinking about on dates a guy asks me I am always prepared to go Dutch (I don't believe in leaving my house without enough money for me lol) but if he pays I'm not going to object.

I'm not a fan of going Dutch, but if that's her preference, I'll go with it. Normally, I take turns. If she offers to pay on Date 2, I accept. I won't accept more than half the time though..

However down the road when I am pretty confident he really likes me and not ghosting I would suggest dates where I'm prepared to pay for the date. But I will admit that's down the road cause I'm not asking him out until He has asked me out on a few dates first lol.

I usually give a woman 3 to 5 dates to contribute. If she doesn't, I put her in the FWB category.

So I just wondered if your always the one to ask her out you still are looking for her to say "I got it" or no?

My ideal preference is that we alternate taking turns planning and paying for dates. I plan and pay for Date 1, she plans and pays for Date 2. The planning is not a deal-breaker item for me, but the paying is.

[PrettyEmily77]

This makes sense. I think for me in the past I use to have low boundaries and accepted the unacceptable than after realizing it I kinda over did boundaries. Right now I'm at a place where I'm trying to figure out my happy medium. The ones I've listed so far really was inspired by my past and what I'm pretty sure I don't want to accept from anybody lol. But I highly agree having a positive attitude with each new person you meet. I like to allow the guy to just show me who he is. but man if they give me a reason to put up a boundary I'm not ignoring it this time of my life. Funny thing about relationships is a lot of gray....

 

That's a good outlook, I think - I feel the same way you do.

 

The main thing is to know yourself well enough, and to be confident enough so you feel you can trust your instincts without reading too much into one individual instance (that could lead to discard someone too quickly, for example).

 

I don't think rushing to anything one way or the other is a good idea. I feel like I am mostly emotionally stable, and an open-minded, kind and generous spirit has my preference. Because that's the kind of guy I want to attract, that's the kind of person I strive to be myself (hit and miss, I will admit ).

 

From experience, I gel better with people who have a similar outlook (that translates in general attitude towards life, personal values, life experiences, views on politics, etc.).

 

So I try not to see things in terms of boundaries - more like in things that bind people rather than what divides them.

 

It doesn't always work, and it took me a couple of false starts to get to that point, but I know what I want - I'm now single, so hopefully this will serve me going forward. Like you say, it's all in the grey .

Edited August 8, 2016 by PrettyEmily77

[Curiousroxy86]

.I usually give a woman 3 to 5 dates to contribute.

 

Very interesting. It's good to get a feel for guys personal boundaries cause you really only hear what women will and will not/should or should not accept.

[cupcake888]

1. Abuse of any kind

2. Cheating

3. Active addiction

4. doesn't respect me or feel empathy

5. Into PUA or misogynistic "red pill" BS (*see #1, this is manipulative, abusive and toxic as f***)

6. Borderline, NPD or Sociopath

[Scrab22]

Minimal pleasantries/politeness, no "throwaway" pleasantries/politeness.

No concealing of relationship feelings.

Talk about what's bothering you.

No expectation of happyville dating (being sad on dates is also okay). Goes for both sides.

Cooperation.