Why does she keep texting me?

[Bliss09]

My ex broke it off over a month ago. I went NC. I've been doing okay, and having a regular internal battle with myself wondering if I miss her..or just miss being in a relationship. NC has been great for me. I'm getting out, meeting new people, and honestly enjoying my freedom. I haven't thought about her as much I as I thought I would. But still of course, as any two year relationship I do have flashes of memories that just give me that uneasy feeling.

 

Long story short...my ex keeps texting me randomly, and it's driving me crazy. It's been about three times now. I haven't responded at all.

 

First time was asking about a t shirt...nothing of any significance or importance. Regular old T shirt. I didn't respond. Not worth breaking NC.

 

Second time was to ask for our apartment key back. No biggie..I get that one. I didn't respond and just stuck it in the mail the same day.

 

Third time was to tell me she got the key..and hopes I'll talk to her again someday..and she hopes all is well.

 

Bottom line is, why does she keep reaching out? I haven't responded, I've been doing my own thing. I don't text her back. But everytime she texts me it makes for an annoying day as I'm still not completely healed.

 

I mean she ended it, why try to maintain contact? Makes no sense.

[Bialy]

Because even though she ended it, she's probably feeling bad. If you respond to her, it gives her some sense of validation that you don't hate her.

 

It could also be a way of her to keep a line of communication open.

 

The best thing to do is to not respond to the next random text that she sends -- particularly if it's something that is insignificant. All it does is satisfies her need for validation and sets you back from complete NC.

[justwannabeok]

it is probably because she misses you and is hoping to see a reaction from you.

I was just dumped by my boyfriend of a year and half yesterday, and I just have a question for you if you don't mind. How long after the split did you start NC? I am still holding out hope, naturally since its only been a day, but it is seeming very hopeless and I feel like i should go NC but at the same time I don't know if it is too soon and it will ruin a chance he'll come back.

[SevenCity]

Even though she decided she doesn't want a relationship with you, she likely misses you.

 

Dumpers often have a sense of loss as as well. They often want to be "friends" so they can ease their transition away from you.

 

You are doing the right thing by not responding. It is hard as hell.

[Bliss09]

it is probably because she misses you and is hoping to see a reaction from you.

I was just dumped by my boyfriend of a year and half yesterday, and I just have a question for you if you don't mind. How long after the split did you start NC? I am still holding out hope, naturally since its only been a day, but it is seeming very hopeless and I feel like i should go NC but at the same time I don't know if it is too soon and it will ruin a chance he'll come back.

 

To be brief, my girlfriend and I had taken a month break before this official split. In that month we didn't talk or see eachother. It was my idea, and it was so incredibly dumb. I think I was more in the same position you probably are now. I wanted to hold out hope that she would miss me as much as I missed her. After that month we tried again for another two, to work things out. Needless to say, it didn't. I went no contact the day it ended, and haven't looked back. I let myself feel it for a week. I cried. Was angry. Upset. It's when I took back to power to be happy that I was able to go NC. As upset as I was, and even though rejection hurts, you just have to make that decision to move on. Thing is, I was always hoping she would reach out to me. But even after a month, I had the willpower to not respond. It's retraining your brain. It's annoying, and it's very hard, but it's possible.