griftymcgriff Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 Well... this all seems to be a problem on behalf of both of us! i talked to my gf on msn tonight, and pretty much got the whole story straightened out. My gf thinks i am possesive sometimes. I really dont see how, as i dont see her for a week most of the time :S she wants a laid back relationship where none of us is worrying about each other some of the time. I worry because im insecure, and a wuss lol. I hate to admit it but ****, i know its a problem of mine. She said she'd felt like i was being possesive, like i dont have a life beyond her? Dont see where this comes from, sure i ask what she's doing, does she want to hang out sometimes. I do that because i want to see her, i dont see her for a week? Anyhow, it started off by me saying i want to ask you a question refering to monday, did you really mean what you said, (you know the sentence involving, Not seeing me ever again?) she stated i can be possesive sometimes, and she cant handle it all the time. Aparently somethings such as "I really love my gf so much, i cant think what i would do without her!" counts as being possesive? Ohwell, she's atleast spelling out what started this. "I know but theres got to be a life more then me!" she replies, so i move on to saying i know, i have one. but if your sad/silent then i should atleast try and listen! then she states "its not the point, i was mad at me at the time!" WOW where did that puzzle piece come from! Finally im getting somewhere. So we went on chatting about what the problem was, it came down to the part where i was kinda sad about this thing with her and some guy. before we went out something between them happened, and it kinda lumed up on me and it stuck in my mind. She was really pissed off about that, i ask why not just tell me at the time? she says its not how she is! so then she said its not that either, i felt suffocated before that. The ian thing really got her worked up...that was the main problem. I think i will delete my live journal. wont talk to myself on there anymore, she reads it and thinks im being possesive for saying how much i love her. She didnt think what she said to me at the time was disrespectful about not seeing me :S I said to her aswell, if you shut me out still, this will happen over and over. which might help her discuss something more openly. And then, i ended that conversation...and we started talking about shoes i've wanted and how she found them in a shop for like 70bucks hehehe and all was better. The
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 1, 2005 Posted July 1, 2005 Aparently somethings such as "I really love my gf so much, i cant think what i would do without her!" counts as being possesive? I don't know about possessive, but dumping that sort of obligation onto some else's shoulders if unfair and it makes most people feel smothered. Never, ever make another person your only source of happiness - eventually they will come to resent it. If you can't find happiness within yourself you won't do anyone any favors by trying to find all of it inside them. I think she is trying to get you to find other sources of happiness so that you can choose to be with her and want to be with her - not NEED to be with her. To your defense though, she's basically saying that she prefers to keep you at an emotional distance that will allow for her to have privacy that doesn't include you - ie: she gets to have interests with other people in which you are not a part of, nor does she want you to question it. She wants a fun relationship with minimal commitment - meaning, she has other interests, she doesn't want to see you all the time, etc. If that is not what you want, and you want more - then it sounds like you are at a crossroads because she seems pretty clear about wanting to keep things on a fairly casual level.
Author griftymcgriff Posted July 1, 2005 Author Posted July 1, 2005 She's said it to me once or twice... well she says thats how she copes, to uh not talk about things, be alone or something...? How do you mean, interests in other people? you mean like friends, she sees them everyday. Usualy complains how anoying they can be. When she's bothered, she'll come to me and complain to them and i listen. I get to see her once a week? hows that for being a bf, i might aswell NOT be in this relationship. Just be her friend. I feel like im being used, i thought i could always have fun with her. I guess not...
Author griftymcgriff Posted July 1, 2005 Author Posted July 1, 2005 ARG, i give up with this ****. i feel like im going insane with all this new crap. like casual dating....This girl held out for 6months to go out with me, and wants to go casual now.... I just wish in some sort of freak accident i was killed, in any sort of matter. you choose!
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