Snow_Queen Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 This is more of a rant than a question. We all experience the ups and downs of dating which can be emotionally draining. I've taken a break for the past 1.5 years due to too many negative experiences. It's very disheartening at times leaving us wondering if we're at fault. I also don't believe it's my right to have a relationship but it is human nature to want to feel loved. With that being said, I try to put much effort into my dating attempts. I've read countless advice columns to gain a solid understanding of a relationship foundation and sought to be my best self in the process. I tried to put myself out there. Having little success, I built walls around my heart. OLD never worked for me. Many of us have experienced the of the person of interest not looking like their photo. The people also tend to be fickle or jaded. I'm an honest person because I believe all lies eventually find their way back to you. Thought this would give me an advantage. Men who'd been lied to were never impressed that my photos were current or that I didn't lie about myself. Trying to meet men off OLD doesn't work too well. I live in an area where it seems there's limited single men and more single women. The trend is to have a very unique quality that no other woman has or they want no strings attached due to the many options. Over the past several months, I had a situation unfold naturally with a friend. We had become very close to the point where we shared many personal things. This guy managed to break down the walls around my heart. I fell in love. My gut told me he felt the same. We flirted occasionally and always seemed so happy to talk to me. From my understanding, he understood how I felt I made it clear. That's when he became warmer towards me. Nothing physical happened after a while which left me wondering. Not long after that, he didn't have much to say and began treating me like an aquaintance rather than a close friend. He then began spending time around other friends which I encouraged since he wanted to see them but hadn't put in the effort. This group included a mix friends both men and women. It appeared more time was spend with a certain lady friend. I don't know anything about her other than they have been hanging out one on one at times. Needless to say, I've felt heartbroken. It doesn't matter if there's anything going on or not. The fact is he chose to spend his time with someone else and acts as though I never mattered. Because of that, I suspected maybe I was an ego boost only to be tossed aside once I served my purpose. He seemed like a genuinely good guy but someone decent wouldn't do that do that (I hope). Now I feel used and somewhat dirty as though I'd been dumped after putting out. Anyway, this situation has left me blindsided and sometimes I wonder if it actually did happen. Maybe it didn't bu I've decided to move on since I have self respect. In the end, I don't want to give up on dating but at the same time I do. I feel so lost and confused right now. Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this way. Thanks for listening.
ashy555 Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 You are most definitely not alone I've been heartbroken more times than i can count. Ill tell you one thing though. It really does make you stronger. You may not notice it now, but you will. I am sorry you have experienced more heartbreak. It is so disheartening but you just need time to heal again. The worst thing you can do is is let it negatively impact your outlook on finding love.
mortensorchid Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 I'm sorry, I've been where you are many a time. I'm broken in a million pieces and have become a cold, jaded, bitter person put back together (I admire Daniel Craig how he is as James Bond too often). I wish I could say something good will happen to you, but ... I can't because I have no hope anymore. Be happy with who you are, that's all you can do. The man (or men - if you want to call them that) who have done that to you are the losers, not you. Move forward. Keep calm and carry on.
Recommended Posts