petergarida Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I knew this girl from october 2015. we started as friends. we hanged out several times. when we hang out we usually spent 5 to 6 hours. one day I confessed my feelings to her and she said that she is in a serious relationship and he is the love of her life. one day when we were hanging out we were talking about relationships and all of a sudden and i felt it was out of no where she said to me " you know peter that despite that someone in relationship one will eventually meet his or her soulmate . they are usually in different countries and they meet" i didnt make anything out of it. one day we hanged out and after hanging out she sent me this message thank you alot for yesterday. you have no idea how much I am happy when we hang out together. I really enjoy your company i swear. btw your forgot something i will give it to you as soon as we meet. everything was amazing the food and the movie thank you for the lovely thursday. i hope you are fine " one day I told her that i dont know what to do should I stay friends or vanish. we are in a vicious circle where you feel guilty for every step that you take. we get along very well and we didnt choose it to happen it just happened . she sent me" i am speechless , there is a 5% chance my relationship with the other is gonna work out. i dont want want you to wait coz you deserve much better" then after 3 minutes she sent me this " you will not forget me you are lying to yourself. it is better if we stay like this and try to get me out of your head" we stayed friends and one day she broke up with her boyfriend. when we were together she told me " by the way me and the other guy broke up. did you know what my father told me. he asked me if me and the other guy are still talking and I told him no then he asked me if me and you ( i am the one addressed here) are meeting and i told him yes . he told me you will not find someone better than peter '' so after this I thought ok her dad likes me and maybe she is trying to tell me to make a move. after 15 days on the day i was planning to make a move I came to know that that are they are back together. so we drifted apart . we didnt contact each other for 4 months after 4 months i contacted her and we are friends back. she didnt tell me but i knew later that she broke up with her boyfriend 5 days before we are back together as friends. after 3 months ( still she didnt go back to her ex) I asked her to be my girlfriend she sent me " I dont know what to say" then I sent her so do you think things are heading towards relationship she told me " i will be honest with you it is true that I broke up with the other guy but i cant love anyone. I still like him and I will always will. i know it hurts but trust me it is TEMPORARY. thats the answer i can give and you deserve." i told her thats fine i can totally relate to you. you try to move on but you cant when we drifted apart for 4 months I had an opportunity with another girl and she likes me yet i could not forget you. so I understand you but i have to go no contact to heal. i dont hate you and you will always have a special place in my heart" she told me you will always have a special place in my heart too. and the no contact is the best thing ever. wish you can find the girl of your dreams what do you think is she confused or not intersted ??
gorf Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 (edited) Wow, ok so.. we started as friends. I really enjoy your company i swear. one day I told her that i dont know what to do should I stay friends or vanish i am speechless , there is a 5% chance my relationship with the other is gonna work out. i dont want want you to wait coz you deserve much better" it is better if we stay like this and try to get me out of your head" we stayed friends one day she broke up with her boyfriend after 15 days they are back together we didnt contact each other for 4 months we are back together as friends. and the no contact is the best thing ever what do you think is she confused or not interested ?? What do you think is she confused or not interested?? I say both. Either is not good, together is a really bad mix. You are her fallback. You two are friends, and she enjoys your company. She is the kind of girl who can't stand to be alone. That's going to be bad for you since she showed you she would come to you, and you are about to make a move (like it was heading that way) and then just like that: she would easily toss you away for 4 months. What next? You have a fight or are busy for a few days, so she finds a guy who gives her attention..? You know where that can go and it can happen with women who need constant attention and validation etc In certain ways she wants you to keep perusing her. She wants you to orbit her while she is with someone, that's how it started: she was in a relationship, you liked her, she knew it. But you are a orbiter/fallback. Its not healthy for her, its disrespectful to the guy she is seeing (no-matter how bad their relationship is, or so she says) and its only wasting your time and hurting you. Id look at the big picture and move on Edited August 5, 2016 by gorf fix mis-spelling
smudge21 Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 I'll take a gamble here and say you and her will never be together. Sorry, but everything she is doing and saying is just to keep you sweet, hanging around in her orbit... a good friend and only ever a good friend. Sadly you've let her do this to you by living in hope that one day she'll come to you. Well my friend, that day has come and gone many times when she's become single. Has she come to you? No. Will she come to you? No. Will there always be some excuse why she can't? Yes. This will go on for as long as you let it. You have the power to walk away, to tell her that you can't be her friend but if she ever truly changes her mind then to give you a call. Then walk and mean it. If at that point she realises she does have feelings for you and wants you, then she'll come running to you. However, sadly more than likely it will be reaching out to say she misses you but it will still only be as friends. You have to decide what to do; stay in this situation or walk. It's your call.
Erik30 Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 She's not interested, and you never really wanted to be friends, you always wanted more than that. Don't try to fool yourself and waste more time thinking she's confused or not ready. If she ever was into you, now would be the time that she'd give you a shot. Als Next time try to at least go out on a date with the girl before asking her to be your girlfriend and confessing your feelings. Go for that other girl, the one who actually likes you.
ElevenAndraste Posted August 6, 2016 Posted August 6, 2016 Wow people's responses on this thread can be so dry and without substance Listen hon, just don't invest too much right now to get your feelings hurt, but kee the connection just limit your interaction keeping the door open should she decide she wants to pursue you. Nobody here is God to know what the future holds. Every couple has a story, and this could be yours. So just stay optimistic but also too very cautious. Love and light my brother
Grey40 Posted August 6, 2016 Posted August 6, 2016 Based on my personal experience (I'm a guy), it's never a good thing to come out and confess feelings for a girl that you're not already intimately involved with for a while. It's just not manly and it kills the attraction if there is any to begin with. In the beginning stages of building s relationship, the chase and mystery are two very important factors. Confessing your feelings ruins that for her--it's no longer fun that she knows she has you whenever she wants. My advice if you really can't move on from her, is to cut her off completley--no talking or anything for a while. For like a month or more, it will be hard. But this will allow her to either move on from you totally or come crawling back if she likes you. If she doesn't, it will be easier for you to move on as well. 1
elaine567 Posted August 6, 2016 Posted August 6, 2016 she told me you will always have a special place in my heart too. and the no contact is the best thing ever. wish you can find the girl of your dreams She has told you to go find another girl and to remain in NC, that is not the response from anyone who is "confused". Add that to the fact she had lots of opportunities to be with you, yet she chose not to, means, she no doubt values you as a good friend, but there are no romantic feelings there for you on her part. As you cannot keep hanging on in there, in the hope one day she will pick you, then NC is your friend, it will help put some space between you and her and will give you a chance to grieve and move on.
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