thebiglimp Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 i went on a second date with this girl. first date i was invited to her place, we made out, then cuddled, spending the night there. the second date we were not on point. we were both tired and the attraction was lessened on her part mainly because i was looking and feeling like crap. this time we sat on the front steps of her place and kissed and cuddled a bit, but neither one of us made an attempt to go up to her place. we just sat there like this for hours until the sun came up and parted ways! of course i wanted to go up to her place, but i didn't say anything because she didn't invite me. but is it suppose to be the guy who asks to be invited in? and how could i have gone about doing it?
jen1447 Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 "Do we have to stay out here all night or can we go inside?" She may have just been enjoying it out there. 3
Gaeta Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 If the lady has already invited you in (like in your case) then it's ok to suggest to go in but if she declines or change subject don't insist. There may be some reasons she does not want to invite you in like her place is a mess and she is very self conscious OR she just knows the best way to avoid having sex is to just not invite you in. 1
gorf Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 If the lady has already invited you in (like in your case) then it's ok to suggest to go in but if she declines or change subject don't insist. There may be some reasons she does not want to invite you in like her place is a mess and she is very self conscious OR she just knows the best way to avoid having sex is to just not invite you in. I agree. It was her place, she could have invited you in easily. It didnt happen. Spent the night on the 2nd date. She probably backed off to see what you are about. What are you about? What do you really want? And what was the date? Did you go to the park and get icecream, did you take her to a nice lunch? What was the date the first and second time anyway? Was it just cuddling in her place and next sitting on her porch? Maybe you could clarify 2
Author thebiglimp Posted August 5, 2016 Author Posted August 5, 2016 (edited) First date was drinks. We hit off really well, escalated quickly then to her place. It was more than cuddle, really. I had all my clothes off and half of hers but something i said wrong made her back off. Then we fell asleep. Interest lvl was extremely high until second date- chatting daily all throughout the day, hints of sex here and there, and then as we got closer to the second date the tone got less flirty, more formal, a truly get to know you talks and promising not to mention the first night. She said the 2nd date was to be our official 1st date. She was clearly overdressed this time, and had been starving herself for a day to look thin.... would not eat a meal, so we went for a drink, just single drink, then coffee. 2 hrs at the bar, 2 at cafe, 2 infront of her house. Total 6 hrs. At the cafe it was already 4am, shes dead tired, so i keep suggesting that she goes home and i stay here until the trains start in 2hrs. (We met near her house obviously. I live almost 2 hrs away) She kept declining. But it didnt occur to me to offer her to 'walk her to her place'. But then we eventually leave the cafe, and she just naturally starts walkin toward her place. Now she was keen to me thru the whole date, but not nearly as much as the first, and i was in the worst condition i had been in a month. Anticiption and anxiousness for the date had me sleep only lightly for the past 2 days n work had not been kind. We still made out, cuddled, briefly thru the date, mostly in front of her house, but she wasn't too keen, nor eager, and tired, as i was. The problems i see are -We chatted too much leading up to the date. Wore out the date itself. -I was looking my worst- i realized later when i looked in the mirror that my face looked like a zombie the entire date. So being infront of her house for the last 2 hrs- was that a chance for me to escalate? Was there something i shouldve said to invite myself to her place? Edited August 5, 2016 by thebiglimp
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