Elwood Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I was in a relationship with someone (long distance) that ended last year. It caused me a lot of pain and this year has been a real struggle. When she ended it she said she wanted friendship, etc. At first there was regular contact but it began to taper off over as the months passed. She kicked me off social media, wouldn't answer my calls, ignored my texts, but would randomly contact me. Well, after working with a therapist and reading books and just soul searching I just said to hell with this. I still have some feelings for her but I just decided I was done making a fool of myself. So I stopped contacting her. Yesterday she texted me in the morning. I wasn't at my desk so I didn't see it. She texted again an hour later. I responded and she began asking me questions. First she asked if I was weaning myself off her since I had not been calling her. She said if I was then that was a good thing. She asked if I was doing anything different (dating, new friends). I've been working with a trainer recently and she said "hopefully with your new body you will meet a nice girl". She called me a few hours later and we spoke about a few things. Then she asked me if I still had all the pictures we had taken together, specifically the "inappropriate" pictures. She said that she recently went through her pictures and got rid of any inappropriate ones of me. She said that she doesn't think it is right that friends would have naked pictures of each other. She said it wasn't fair to me for her to have those and wanted me to get rid of the ones I have. Oddly, months earlier she asked me about the pictures and said she didn't care if I had them. First, the pictures are gone. I got rid of them because they caused me pain. So that was already done. My question is why did she contact me out of the blue and ask this? She acted as though we were friends. She has shown me no friendship in a long time. As I mentioned not taking calls, ignoring texts, etc. Early after the break up I asked to see her and she said not this month, but next. Then when that month arrived she canceled again. Whenever I asked she would say "I'll let you know". Well yesterday she was suddenly okay with seeing me. What the hell? When the relationship ended she told me she never loved me, it was all a mistake, she was just going through a bad time. So basically I fell in love with someone that saw me as a mistake. She is a different person now. Maybe the thought that I had these pictures disturbs her now since she doesn't have any feelings for me. I asked if she was seeing somebody and that is why she wants me to not have them. She said no. What bothers me is the approach she took. Saying all this stuff about friendship, even saying she would want to introduce me to her family as a friend. I never met them when we were together. they never even knew I existed. Nobody in her life knows about me. Everything just felt wrong. You can't push someone out of your life, ignore them in every way and then suddenly call and act like everything is fine.
JFReyes Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Something fishy is going on (maybe she's gravelly ill or dumped harshly) that she's changed so much in just a few months. I suggest you keep NC and not be the fallback guy. Good luck.
Trinity_84 Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 You can't push someone out of your life, ignore them in every way and then suddenly call and act like everything is fine. No you can't. For that to happen, it takes a long time. And for both parties to talk and agree that everything *is* fine. Don't ignore your instincts and keep doing what you've been doing, for what it's worth it sounds like you're doing great.
Cephalopod Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Stop talking to her. You owe her nothing. Why would you want to be in the friend zone with someone who would treat you so shabbily?
Marc878 Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Breadcrumbs. You're wasting time on this. If you're smart you do a full block on everything, purge all about her and move on. She seems really weird anyway. You should know that complete NC will get you where you need to be.
kgcolonel Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 No Contact whatsoever is your key to healing...BTW, she's with someone else and is worried those pics may show up at an inappropriate time for her....
ChatroomHero Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 The pictures were bothering her. It probably took her a while before it bothered her enough to call and ask you to get rid of them. Of course she is going to be friendly before she asks this. I am sure she knows she treated you badly and probably figured at some point those pictures would come back to haunt her. Her end goal was to be friendly and as agreeable as it took to be assured you deleted them and the forget you ever existed. You got rid of them, just assure her you moved on and deleted the pictures and she has nothing to worry about and to have a nice life. 1
basil67 Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 It's not breadcrumbs. It's not friendship. She just needed to tidy up the loose ends of the photos and was being pleasant while doing so. Tell her the photos are long gone and then remove her from your life. 1
gypsymess Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Based only on what you have written, from the perspective of a woman, whatever (or whoever) had her busy and kept her from talking to you or being around you, is gone. She asked about the pictures to bring up something from the past, and to gage if you still have romantic feelings for her. The comment about "maybe you will get a nice body and can meet a nice girl..." yeah, she is not interested in you meeting a nice girl. She is trying to see where you are at based on your reply. I would say RUN. This girl is bored and using you as a time filler until something else comes along and gives her attention. Just my 2 cents. Best of luck.
Marc878 Posted August 7, 2016 Posted August 7, 2016 Based only on what you have written, from the perspective of a woman, whatever (or whoever) had her busy and kept her from talking to you or being around you, is gone. She asked about the pictures to bring up something from the past, and to gage if you still have romantic feelings for her. The comment about "maybe you will get a nice body and can meet a nice girl..." yeah, she is not interested in you meeting a nice girl. She is trying to see where you are at based on your reply. I would say RUN. This girl is bored and using you as a time filler until something else comes along and gives her attention. Just my 2 cents. Best of luck. Excellent advice!!!!!
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