Rich guy - didnt stand a chance - Womens perspective .

[slider1985]

I’m hoping to get a woman’s perspective on this rich guy scenario. Please refer to previous post for insight.

 

Struggling to cope with the fall out of a short but intense dating relationship. I appreciate all the advice input from many of you. I’m glad I stumbled upon this forum sometime ago. I’m having a difficulty day. I’m burning inside. The girl I was recently dating left me for another guy who’s a young good looking extremely rich 31 years old. We were exclusive which these days don’t mean squat. I’m also young 35 successful good looking guy. I don’t have problems meeting women. The new guy is ridiculously rich I don’t even compare. Our relationship was short and therefore easy for her to move on. She just went cold and distant and didn’t have the courtesy to tell me anything. She does not know that I know the truth. I have not mentioned it because I don’t want to give her the satisfaction that I care. We have spoken since in order to exchange our stuff but she has flaked every time when it came to getting together. She has an expensive watch of mine and I don’t trust her leaving that in her mailbox otherwise I would arrange it as so. She’s been a complete cold bitch to me while still giving me breadcrumbs these last few weeks. Hot text msgs and cold ass bitch on the phone. She basically is treating me like I did something wrong. She’s been playing me the whole time.

 

Most of my girlfriends admit that based on my story if they had to choose between 2 great guys, both successful, mature and looking for something serious accept the other guy is astronomical wealthy they would chose rich guy. They've all told me that I didn’t stand a chance once he entered the picture. I realize that our relationship 2.5 months was short but it was intense. We had some great times together and we had some adversity. She became ill a few weeks ago and I took her to the Emergency room and was at her bed side for 6 hours. She begged me not to dump her, and claimed she wanted to be with me. Anyhow that's another story. I deserve better than what I got in the end. Side note, this girl was extremely high maintenance, spoiled, constant reasurrance, etc.

 

I guess what really burns me inside is that she has not made any effort to give my stuff back and tell me what the hell happened. She doesn’t care how things ended. She called me the other day to 4 times within 1.5 hours needing to speak. When I finally called her back she was a total bitch. Basically she wanted exchange our stuff while rubbing it in that she was leaving for a getaway. I didn’t ask because I don’t want to give her the satisfaction. When we speak I feel like she purposely is pressing my buttons to piss me off. I don't understand how she can act normal like we never existed. It’s like we’re avoiding the big elephant in the room!

 

I texted her that night to arrange a day this week to get my stuff and she didn’t even bother to respond. I just don’t get the mind games she’s playing. The whole time she’s been lying to me about not dating other people and was keeping me as plan B. She had her eye on this guy and when she realized there may be an open window she left. A friend of mine is good friends with the new rich guy and he’s taking her way for a week. I feel like these types of women will do whatever they have to do to get what they want regardless of who gets hurt along the way.

 

I realize that relationships/ dating are not guarantees in life. And the more I skim through the threads on this forum the more depressed I get. Because there is no loyalty or honesty in today’s relationships. 2 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years relationship break up, cheating, temptations, etc... Nothing is a guarantee. Now I realize she was a terrible person and I can do better but I’m really struggling to move on. He’s giving her more then I could ever and it burns me inside. She got what she wanted and I’m left to pick up the pieces.

[MidwestUSA]

You said this about her:

 

She was extremely attractive jealous, anxiety, needy, high maintenance but she new she was gorgeous.

 

 

So, if she'd left you for a garbage man, she'd still have been doing you a favor. Other than finding a way to get your stuff back, go NC and forget her. She was a 2.5 month blip on your radar. Not worth another thought, nor is the guy, nor is the 'reason'.

[fromheart]

Why would you want a woman who judges a man by his material wealth? Why do you have friends who favor materialism?

 

If you spend time with people who equate a bank balance with success, you're not going to be happy and they definitely can't contribute towards your happiness.

 

She's shown her true colors, you've lost absolutely nothing.

[elaine567]

Side note, this girl was extremely high maintenance, spoiled, constant reasurrance, etc.

 

See where you went wrong?

[CupCakess]

Have you ever considered the possibility that she may not have chosen him because of his wealth, but just because she connected with him better? Doesn't mean the guy is "better" than you, he is just more in tone with what she may want. There is nothing wrong with that.

 

Also, it was a 2.5 month relationship. That is not a relationship. That is casual dating.

[xxoo]

From a woman's perspective, at 2.5 months, if she was falling for you, she never would have noticed this rich guy.

[elaine567]

Everyone whilst dating wants to be with the best person they can get, it may about looks, wealth, intelligence, personality, compatibility etc.etc., different people are looking for different things but they all want the best they can get.

 

I am guessing she is young, so she finds a younger, hotter, richer model - it is not unknown, people do it all the time.

Had she not been as good as you could get, you may have been the one doing the dumping, when a better model came along.

It is how life works.

 

He’s giving her more then I could ever and it burns me inside.

Your ego is bruised here.

You don't really want her, you just don't want him to have her.

[Blanco]

2.5 months is nothing.

 

The way you speak of her, you don't sound like you had much more respect for her than you seem to think she had for you.

[slider1985]

Everyone whilst dating wants to be with the best person they can get, it may about looks, wealth, intelligence, personality, compatibility etc.etc., different people are looking for different things but they all want the best they can get.

 

I am guessing she is young, so she finds a younger, hotter, richer model - it is not unknown, people do it all the time.

Had she not been as good as you could get, you may have been the one doing the dumping, when a better model came along.

It is how life works.

 

 

Your ego is bruised here.

You don't really want her, you just don't want him to have her.

 

I realise that we all have to do what's best for us. And I agree I could very well had been the dumper If something better came along. I'm not disputing all of this. I just would have handled things better, mature, honest, not playing around with someones feelings. I got burned and im moving on. First month was great, the last few weeks in when things started to hang with her. Around the time she met this guy. That's said, it does suckntnget burned , she jumped on a better opportunity. I lost fare and square.

[Redhead14]

I’m hoping to get a woman’s perspective on this rich guy scenario. Please refer to previous post for insight.

 

Struggling to cope with the fall out of a short but intense dating relationship. I appreciate all the advice input from many of you. I’m glad I stumbled upon this forum sometime ago. I’m having a difficulty day. I’m burning inside. The girl I was recently dating left me for another guy who’s a young good looking extremely rich 31 years old. We were exclusive which these days don’t mean squat. I’m also young 35 successful good looking guy. I don’t have problems meeting women. The new guy is ridiculously rich I don’t even compare. Our relationship was short and therefore easy for her to move on. She just went cold and distant and didn’t have the courtesy to tell me anything. She does not know that I know the truth. I have not mentioned it because I don’t want to give her the satisfaction that I care. We have spoken since in order to exchange our stuff but she has flaked every time when it came to getting together. She has an expensive watch of mine and I don’t trust her leaving that in her mailbox otherwise I would arrange it as so. She’s been a complete cold bitch to me while still giving me breadcrumbs these last few weeks. Hot text msgs and cold ass bitch on the phone. She basically is treating me like I did something wrong. She’s been playing me the whole time.

 

Most of my girlfriends admit that based on my story if they had to choose between 2 great guys, both successful, mature and looking for something serious accept the other guy is astronomical wealthy they would chose rich guy. They've all told me that I didn’t stand a chance once he entered the picture. I realize that our relationship 2.5 months was short but it was intense. We had some great times together and we had some adversity. She became ill a few weeks ago and I took her to the Emergency room and was at her bed side for 6 hours. She begged me not to dump her, and claimed she wanted to be with me. Anyhow that's another story. I deserve better than what I got in the end. Side note, this girl was extremely high maintenance, spoiled, constant reasurrance, etc.

 

I guess what really burns me inside is that she has not made any effort to give my stuff back and tell me what the hell happened. She doesn’t care how things ended. She called me the other day to 4 times within 1.5 hours needing to speak. When I finally called her back she was a total bitch. Basically she wanted exchange our stuff while rubbing it in that she was leaving for a getaway. I didn’t ask because I don’t want to give her the satisfaction. When we speak I feel like she purposely is pressing my buttons to piss me off. I don't understand how she can act normal like we never existed. It’s like we’re avoiding the big elephant in the room!

 

I texted her that night to arrange a day this week to get my stuff and she didn’t even bother to respond. I just don’t get the mind games she’s playing. The whole time she’s been lying to me about not dating other people and was keeping me as plan B. She had her eye on this guy and when she realized there may be an open window she left. A friend of mine is good friends with the new rich guy and he’s taking her way for a week. I feel like these types of women will do whatever they have to do to get what they want regardless of who gets hurt along the way.

 

I realize that relationships/ dating are not guarantees in life. And the more I skim through the threads on this forum the more depressed I get. Because there is no loyalty or honesty in today’s relationships. 2 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years relationship break up, cheating, temptations, etc... Nothing is a guarantee. Now I realize she was a terrible person and I can do better but I’m really struggling to move on. He’s giving her more then I could ever and it burns me inside. She got what she wanted and I’m left to pick up the pieces.

 

Listen, she simply wasn't bonded to you well enough to not be interested in anyone else. If she was really invested in you and on a deep enough level, she wouldn't have moved on. You two weren't seeing each other long enough to have become that invested.

 

And, rich guys get used too . . . she may not give a crap about him emotionally either and especially since they've just gotten together. You said she's high maintenance, so maybe shallow too . . . time will tell with this.

 

And, if she gets dumped, don't let her come crawling back to you.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Listen, you know you deserved better. You even called her 'extremely high maintenance, spoiled, in need of constant reassurance, etc.'. The writing was on the wall with this chick right from the start but you likely couldn't see it because you were blinded by your belief of who she was instead her reality. Happens to the best of us OP.

 

The reason you can't move on is because your ego is bruised more than anything. For many men, money equals success and prowess so loving a girlfriend to someone with more scratch than you feels like a kick in the balls more than anything.

 

I too agree that there are no guarantees in life, especially when it comes to relationships. Why do you think I won't marry again? A piece of paper and God's blessing ain't gonna guarantee happily-ever-after or make you work 'harder' in your relationship. It's sad but it's true.

 

All you have control of is you and nothing more. All you can do is be as discerning as possible about the company you keep and do the best you can in your relationships. The rest of out of it not you're doing. If it implodes then so be it, it wasn't meant to be. Find the lesson and learn from it and pick yourself up and try again, only this time wiser and a better man.

 

That's how I live my life anymore.

 

Good luck.

[Blanco]

The cliche is that women will go for a guy because he has money, while men will go for a woman because she's hot. So, congrats, both of you were cliches in this instance.

 

I understand it's a blow to the ego, but you have to not get carried away here and disregard reality. You two weren't even together for a full season. Exclusive or not, you were still in the process of getting to know each other and determine if you were a good fit. By the sounds of it, you weren't.

 

Be happy she did this now and not after you were married with children and a house and other assets.

[BC1980]

You only dated 2.5 months. That's nothing. She probably just didn't feel as much of a connection with you. Is money attractive? Sure. Financial security can be a very attractive thing, but, in most cases, it doesn't outweigh truly loving someone.

[Toodaloo]

Side note, this girl was extremely high maintenance, spoiled, constant reasurrance, etc.

 

That therein is the problem. People like this (regardless of being male or female) will always want the greener grass... then when the have it they move on again, and again, and again...

 

You think that the rich guy is so much better... I can tell you now there will be another guy she moves onto soon... He will be sat thinking just the same as you.

 

So I suggest you cut to the chase. Go round and get your watch back. then just walk away and have nothing more to do with her.

 

Pick the pretty girl that you can rely on next time.

[jazzyhands89]

Sounds like you were with her because she was so gorgeous cuz you describe all these terrible traits that no guy would put up with if the girl wasn't gorgeous. Sounds like you two were actually good match she is shallow based on being materialistic and you are shallow based on looks. But we live in a society where we accept that men are shallow and bash women for being shallow so there you go. Let's be real, most if not all men will pick the hotter one between two equally good women based on personality and character. Also most men will pick the better looking women with slightly less better personality and character compared to a average looking woman with great personality and character. Shallow men like yourself who get mad that a woman is the same as you are simply egotistical

Edited August 4, 2016 by jazzyhands89

[Sunkissedpatio]

It sounds like you run in a pretty vapid circle by fact that you say your own friends told you they would do the same thing for the next walking penis with money.

 

This leads me to think that the women you befriend and go after must have only looks to offer and you think that money is the only way to keep a woman. Unfortunately, THOSE kinds of women, are indeed only kept with money.

 

I'm afraid that unless you can see this for yourself you will end up bald with a speedo and silver necklaces on some boat on the French coast trying win over 21 yr old model/prostitutes at the age of 50. It gets much MUCH sadder as you grow older.

 

May be time to realign your values. Of course physical attraction is important but learn to seek out the attractive women that also have attractive characters and at the 2.5 month mark you should have the ability to walk away if you see anything short of that.

[springy]

 

I'm afraid that unless you can see this for yourself you will end up bald with a speedo and silver necklaces on some boat on the French coast trying win over 21 yr old model/prostitutes at the age of 50. It gets much MUCH sadder as you grow older.

 

 

True for the OP or not that made me chuckle...

 

OP, this was a 2.5 month relationship wherein you saw red flags really early on. Ask her to post the watch to you. If she won't, drop it and call it a day. Block her if you have to. In the future, don't leave expensive items in the hands of someone you barely know. Stop talking to her so you can move on. I know people hate that phrase when they are hurting, but this is indeed what you need to do; she is not interested anymore. Stop torturing yourself.

[slider1985]

I realise my description of her isn't positive however the first 7 weeks together she was sweet and genuine and truly gave me a gf experience. She was open and honest in what she wanted and that was a relationship. I slowly brought my guard down earlier than usual because it felt right at that moment. I tried to slow things down. I began to notice the high maintenance issues after 7 weeks which was a cause for concern.

I guess im a bit shallow however ive also dated very unattractive girls who were gamey and their guard was up right from the beginning.

 

That said, it's not just about looks and I realize it was only 2.5 intense months however of all the girls ive dated she truly gave me the gf experience only to rip the carpet from underneath my feet. Thats what i miss most and why im having such a difficult time. Sure my ego is bruised, and yes she was attractive, and yes she had flaws..I guess I may be selling myself short but the truth is I've date many women whom a lot of times are playing games. She never gave me reason to believe otherwise. I guess it goes both ways.

 

In the end that's what's she wanted and I have to accept it. As for my circle of friends being materialistic is irrelevant. My circle of friends are hard working middle class people who gave me their honest opinion. Many but not all would jump on an opportunity to date the full package..

 

Whether you consider me shallow or whatever for that matter I knkw that I was a kind, genuine person with good intentions .I deserve better.

[whatnot]

Same thing happened with me.

 

The way I look at it is that my ex is now with a better fit. It's easy....when men use money to keep score on how well we play the game, it can be easy for us to use that as our identity. All women look for a man that has certain qualities. ...decipline, intelligence, work ethic, etc....in free societies these same qualities also earns money...they tend to bring success.

 

Don't look at it as you being a failure (It's easy to fall into that trap because we feel bad about being rejected anyhow....which is completely normal for both sexes). I heard something years ago that I've never forgotten. ..

 

"If you marry for money, it'll be the hardest money you'll ever make".

 

I believe that.

 

Hang in there man

[whatnot]

I probably outta leave it there. But...maybe this one's for me.

 

That money is not your whole identity. And what you do to make it isn't ones whole identity. And a lover isn't ones whole identity. There's other parts. What did I do today that contributed to another person feeling good about themselves? What did I do today that made another person better off for me being alive?

 

These are all pieces that we use to identify ourselves. ..with how we view ourselves. And our worth. Don't let her take your worth. Don't let anyone ever take this. It's all to easy to do. (I've done that as well).

 

Be cool man if she left him for bucks...that's his problem now

 

 

Good luck

[slider1985]

Thanks for all the support and advice!

[elaine567]

I knkw that I was a kind, genuine person with good intentions .I deserve better.

 

Yes you do, and maybe she was pretty honest in her intentions too. Sometimes we just fall for people and we end up hurting others.

Yes, maybe it was his money, but maybe not, maybe he is just one awesome guy and if you were her you would have fallen for him too.

She was just not the woman for you.

 

Don't get bitter and twisted, its not a good look.

Grieve for what it may have been, heal and move on

[Els]

I feel like these types of women will do whatever they have to do to get what they want regardless of who gets hurt along the way.

 

I think you're being rather melodramatic. You were dating for 2 months. At that stage you are both just barely getting to know each other and any reason for leaving is totally valid. At 2 months either of you SHOULD be able to leave without it being a huge "OMG you don't care who you hurt!" deal. It's not like you were together for 20 years or even 2 years.

 

That being said, you don't know why she left, does it matter? 2 months is barely a blink of an eye, just shoulder it and move on. A tip: if you want to be compatible with 'less shallow' women, it helps to be 'less shallow' yourself.

[Toodaloo]

I realise my description of her isn't positive however the first 7 weeks together she was sweet and genuine and truly gave me a gf experience. She was open and honest in what she wanted and that was a relationship. I slowly brought my guard down earlier than usual because it felt right at that moment. I tried to slow things down. I began to notice the high maintenance issues after 7 weeks which was a cause for concern.

I guess im a bit shallow however ive also dated very unattractive girls who were gamey and their guard was up right from the beginning.

 

That said, it's not just about looks and I realize it was only 2.5 intense months however of all the girls ive dated she truly gave me the gf experience only to rip the carpet from underneath my feet. Thats what i miss most and why im having such a difficult time. Sure my ego is bruised, and yes she was attractive, and yes she had flaws..I guess I may be selling myself short but the truth is I've date many women whom a lot of times are playing games. She never gave me reason to believe otherwise. I guess it goes both ways.

 

In the end that's what's she wanted and I have to accept it. As for my circle of friends being materialistic is irrelevant. My circle of friends are hard working middle class people who gave me their honest opinion. Many but not all would jump on an opportunity to date the full package..

 

Whether you consider me shallow or whatever for that matter I knkw that I was a kind, genuine person with good intentions .I deserve better.

 

 

Thing is its all about perceptions... I got chatting to this guy once. Mega rich (according to him - personally I know richer, as in billions not millions but I digress) all he could do was talk about money. Bloody boring. Conversations went along the lines of;

 

Me - so which whiskey do you like best

Him - Oh I have so many I have around £5k worth in my cellar

Me - yes but which one do you like? What do you like about it.

Him - I spent so much money on my collection and I love drinking it.

Me - But are you with water or a with ice man? *Note I am getting desperate here to find out who this guy is rather than what his bank account looks like*

Him - I brought a bottle that cost over £500 the other day

Me - Well I have to go now nice talking to you...

 

What I learnt from that conversation

1. He will likely end up with some broad that abuses his cash flow and doesn't support him much

2. He doesn't listen

3. He hasn't got a clue about a subject he claims to love so is likely to be fake in other ways...

 

I started talking to this guy because he works hard and has a great ethic but he was dull... It was like the fore mentioned balding 50 year old in speedos...

 

Don't be that man... Don't hang out with people like that man...

[Hoosfoos]

Money trumps love and good treatment. Always. There are no exceptions. Welcome to the sexual marketplace.