Author leogirl876 Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 Where did he get the idea you would be caught in rush hour at 8:30 am? Did you email about that? Or was it a guess on his part? No, I didn't say anything about that. I just said it would be ok to call me sometime. My friend is now thinking that maybe he's married and that's why he's calling at weird times.
O'Malley Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 If you prefer him to call you at a certain time, let him know that. I agree, those daily multiple texts, prior to meeting up, are white noise and are lackluster indications of interest imo. If he really wants to demonstrate his interest, he could ask you out and get acquainted in person.
preraph Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Which is exactly what I said earlier. He's doing it when he's not home so he doesn't get caught.
jen1447 Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Ok so either you want to talk to him or you dont. You said it was ok to call. He called at a funny time. But you havent communicated if/when to call. Do that and problem solved. Agree about the supposed 'rules' here - you didn't lay out a call time sheet so you can't really expect him to abide by rules you didn't share. Also ....2 calls. Separated by hours. That's just not "much contact" no matter how you slice it. 4
Author leogirl876 Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 Which is exactly what I said earlier. He's doing it when he's not home so he doesn't get caught. Yeah, that's what someone else said, doing it during business hours so he doesn't get caught. I'm thinking this is weird.
bachdude Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 No, I didn't say anything about that. I just said it would be ok to call me sometime. My friend is now thinking that maybe he's married and that's why he's calling at weird times. Well, I have always operated by the standard, no calls before 9 am or after 9 pm. Doesn't this still apply? So I think it just shows his social skills might be a little lacking, not that he is a stalker. And would EHarmony be the best place to hook up if you are married? There would be far easier sites for this than taking a couple hours to answer all their questions.
DramaInPajamas Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 (edited) Well, I have always operated by the standard, no calls before 9 am or after 9 pm. Doesn't this still apply? So I think it just shows his social skills might be a little lacking, not that he is a stalker. And would EHarmony be the best place to hook up if you are married? There would be far easier sites for this than taking a couple hours to answer all their questions. Exactly: EHarmony is a paid site with a huge application form. The guided communication is laborious too. If he is married and looking to hook up: Tinder would be his best bet. If you want to know what a real phone stalker looks like. When I had been chatting to this guy for a bit, I gave my number, on the same day he got it: a Friday, he started whatsapping all the time that evening, saying he would come over to mine now, he was drunk, passed his phone around all his friends who all sent me non sensical messages some of them rude. When I didnt respond, he started calling me over and over in quick succession, I would reject a call and before I had a chance to block, he'd cal again. After the 4th to 5th call I had to reject at 11pm on a Friday night, I told him to go away, that I didnt want to talk to him and he said ok and I then was able block his number. I blocked him on calls and whatsapp but forgot to block him on sms text. He texted the next morning apologizing for his behavior to which I didnt reply. I considered the matter closed. My ignoring his apology obviously annoyed him or he expected to get back in my good books by apologizing as when I didnt respond to his apology, he started sending more texts on Saturday night calling me ugly and fat, etc. I had to threaten him with the police if he didnt stop. His telephone number was linked to his facebook and linkedin and so I told him I knew his full name and where he worked and if he didnt stop this, the police would be given these details and I would contact his place of work and screen shot and forward all the abusive messages to his HR manager and company director. I never heard from him again after that. That is scary stalking behavior! Calling your guy a phone stalker for two phone calls is harsh and detracts from more serious situations with really threatening behavior. Cut the guy some slack and tell him when you are able to take a call from him, give him a time and stop wondering why he doesnt do what you want him to do when you havent communicated what you want or expect. Edited August 4, 2016 by DramaInPajamas 1
Author leogirl876 Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 Exactly: EHarmony is a paid site with a huge application form. The guided communication is laborious too. If he is married and looking to hook up: Tinder would be his best bet. If you want to know what a real phone stalker looks like. When I had been chatting to this guy for a bit, I gave my number, on the same day he got it: a Friday, he started whatsapping all the time that evening, saying he would come over to mine now, he was drunk, passed his phone around all his friends who all sent me non sensical messages some of them rude. When I didnt respond, he started calling me over and over in quick succession, I would reject a call and before I had a chance to block, he'd cal again. After the 4th to 5th call I had to reject at 11pm on a Friday night, I told him to go away, that I didnt want to talk to him and he said ok and I then was able block his number. I blocked him on calls and whatsapp but forgot to block him on sms text. He texted the next morning apologizing for his behavior to which I didnt reply. I considered the matter closed. My ignoring his apology obviously annoyed him or he expected to get back in my good books by apologizing as when I didnt respond to his apology, he started sending more texts on Saturday night calling me ugly and fat, etc. I had to threaten him with the police if he didnt stop. His telephone number was linked to his facebook and linkedin and so I told his full name and where he worked and if he didnt stop this, the police would be given these details and I contact his place of work and forward all the abusive messages to his HR manager and company director. I never heard from him again after that. That is scary stalking behavior. Calling your guy a phone stalker for two phone calls is harsh and detracts from more serious situations with really threatening behavior. Cut the guy some slack and tell him when you are able to take a call from him, give him a time and stop wondering why he doesnt do what you want him to do when you havent communicated what you want or expect. That is creepy. You're right, my guy wasn't being a stalker, but definitely needy and codependent like. He also texted me again this morning, and I still haven't responded to him. I want a guy that complements my life, not a guy that's trying to be up my a$$ all the time. I had an ex-bf who was clingy and needy and this is what's reminding me of him, so that's probably why I'm backing off.
DramaInPajamas Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 That is creepy. You're right, my guy wasn't being a stalker, but definitely needy and codependent like. He also texted me again this morning, and I still haven't responded to him. I want a guy that complements my life, not a guy that's trying to be up my a$$ all the time. I had an ex-bf who was clingy and needy and this is what's reminding me of him, so that's probably why I'm backing off. No he wasnt being needy and co-dependent. You said you wanted to talk....he called you. It wasnt convenient, he called again later and then sent you a text to follow up. Maybe he wants to meet asap to see if you gel or not. Does he know that you want him to be delaying and taking lots of time to arrange? Maybe he has had girls lose interest as he hasnt called soon enough. Dont project your ex on to him. If you meet on a dating site and swap numbers what on earth is the point in taking ages to call or meet. Just do it....talk and get it over with soon. That is probably what he is thinking. 3
bachdude Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I mean, you could just talk to him and see how the conversation goes. It wouldn't be dangerous or anything! Things would probably clear up a lot for you. Up to you. 1
DramaInPajamas Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I mean, you could just talk to him and see how the conversation goes. It wouldn't be dangerous or anything! Things would probably clear up a lot for you. Up to you. He probably has no idea what is going on. Gets a woman's number and doesnt get to talk her once she said she wanted to talk on the phone. If he saw this thread about it, he would probably block and delete the OP. 3
Author leogirl876 Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 He probably has no idea what is going on. Gets a woman's number and doesnt get to talk her once she said she wanted to talk on the phone. If he saw this thread about it, he would probably block and delete the OP. I just think it's much better when you call someone to leave a message and wait AT LEAST 24 hours for them to call you back, especially when you've never even met the person IRL.
DramaInPajamas Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I just think it's much better when you call someone to leave a message and wait AT LEAST 24 hours for them to call you back, especially when you've never even met the person IRL. He doesnt know those are your standards. When I got the first message I would have texted him and told him a convenient time to call me. It really is that simple. 3
bachdude Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Watch, this guy's probably a multi millionaire calling from his summer residence in Hawaii! Haha 2
phineas Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 So he asked if he could call you, you said yes and gave him your number, he's called twice, and he's a phone stalker? What exactly did you think would happen when you invited him to call you - that he wouldn't call you? I'm beginning to think OP's issues with the men she meets are in her head. 3
katiegrl Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 I'm beginning to think OP's issues with the men she meets are in her head. But let's be honest leogirl, you said yesterday you prefer to wonder about a man's interest in the early stages (it increases your attraction).... so it makes sense that his obviously high interest would turn you off a bit. ^^Quoted again for emphasis. leogirl, not every guy you meet is gonna be a follower of Corey Wayne ... advising guys to let a girl wonder about their interest level.
phineas Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 ^^Quoted again for emphasis. leogirl, not every guy you meet is gonna be a follower of Corey Wayne ... advising guys to let a girl wonder about their interest level. Yeah, i'm talking about the other posts in other threads she makes about every guy she meets has something wrong with him.
katiegrl Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 (edited) Yeah, i'm talking about the other posts in other threads she makes about every guy she meets has something wrong with him. Just a guess... but that's cuz, in my experience anyway, when a man is interested, he's gonna express that interest, just like this guy is doing, and maybe what those other guys she meets have done. leogirl prefers to be kept guessing a bit at least in the early stages, at least that's what I'm getting from her. It's also what Corey Wayne advises in his book and many videos. That a woman's interest and attraction increases when she is unsure of a man's interest and feelings (in the beginning). This is like verbatim, straight from one of his videos. leogirl has stated she agrees with much of his advice, hence why she is not so interested in this guy, he is showing too much interest (too soon). Which is fine! She doesn't have to justify why she doesn't like a guy. To each his own. Personally, I prefer knowing that a man is interested, not ad nauseum of course, but I do like to knowing he is interested, otherwise I am left feeling sort of meh. With this guy, I would have liked his spontaneity and go-getter style. I admire men who have the confidence to go after what they want like that. But in leogirl's defense, it is getting a bit much now. She hasn't called or texted him back, it's now time for him to back off. That would irritate me too! Edited August 5, 2016 by katiegrl 1
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 I don't view this as stalker behavior at all. You must not be attracted to him. Millennial logic dictates "Un-attracted = stalker"- "attracted = go out on a date"
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Yeah, that's what someone else said, doing it during business hours so he doesn't get caught. I'm thinking this is weird. It's only "weird" because you're not attracted, but hey...you DID give him your phone #, so it's on you.
phineas Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Just a guess... but that's cuz, in my experience anyway, when a man is interested, he's gonna express that interest, just like this guy is doing, and maybe what those other guys she meets have done. leogirl prefers to be kept guessing a bit at least in the early stages, at least that's what I'm getting from her. It's also what Corey Wayne advises in his book and many videos. That a woman's interest and attraction increases when she is unsure of a man's interest and feelings (in the beginning). This is like verbatim, straight from one of his videos. leogirl has stated she agrees with much of his advice, hence why she is not so interested in this guy, he is showing too much interest (too soon). Which is fine! She doesn't have to justify why she doesn't like a guy. To each his own. Personally, I prefer knowing that a man is interested, not ad nauseum of course, but I do like to knowing he is interested, otherwise I am left feeling sort of meh. With this guy, I would have liked his spontaneity and go-getter style. I admire men who have the confidence to go after what they want like that. But in leogirl's defense, it is getting a bit much now. She hasn't called or texted him back, it's now time for him to back off. That would irritate me too! I agree. Fire and forget is how he should of gone. Called once then moved to the next one. Stalker though? I have to say, women like OP annoy me. When i'd sleep with a woman for the first time i could literally see the interest level drop when I contacted them the next morning just so they know i wasn't just looking for sex. So now I contact them late morning, let them know i had fun and if they are not as eager as before I get busy and let them come to me. Because I got better things to do then chase after a woman who acts like she is no longer interested. I didn't realize I was doing PUA until I started seeing other guys posting about it online.
joseb Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 I agree. Fire and forget is how he should of gone. Called once then moved to the next one. Stalker though? I have to say, women like OP annoy me. When i'd sleep with a woman for the first time i could literally see the interest level drop when I contacted them the next morning just so they know i wasn't just looking for sex. So now I contact them late morning, let them know i had fun and if they are not as eager as before I get busy and let them come to me. Because I got better things to do then chase after a woman who acts like she is no longer interested. I didn't realize I was doing PUA until I started seeing other guys posting about it online. You are obviously, whats described in the lingo as, a natural! 1
smackie9 Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 He was being spontaneous ..... being spontaneous myself, I totally get it. Probably listening to some cool tunes in the car, feeling upbeat and wanting to touch base real quick.. I would have thought it was funny! Great way to break the ice. Since I would have been getting ready for work, I would have laughed and arranged a time to talk later. In the meantime, he touched based, we heard the sound of each other's voice (huge deal for me).... and have something to look forward to later. I love men like that. Spontaneous, gregarious... risk taker. To each his own though. It seems that just asking someone out is taking a risk these days......
Grisho Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 That is creepy. You're right, my guy wasn't being a stalker, but definitely needy and codependent like. He also texted me again this morning, and I still haven't responded to him. I want a guy that complements my life, not a guy that's trying to be up my a$$ all the time. I had an ex-bf who was clingy and needy and this is what's reminding me of him, so that's probably why I'm backing off. Sorry, but this is nonsense. I hope you come to realise how childish this is on your part. This man is simply showing interest in you. He has not gone over the top. Loads of people I know send me messages or call just before, or just after, work. I've never wondered why, and we've never discussed why. It's simply obvious that they are making contact when they have a free moment before, or after, starting their work day. I really want to stress the damage you can do with an over-the-top reaction like this - you are making light of actual serious problems that women have. Your man has barely contacted you. He is simply showing a decent level of interest. You are at fault for handing out your number, without explaining how complicated you are when it comes to having contact. Next time someone asks for your number, please make sure you explain your complicated ideas on calling and messaging, before you hand it out. 5
OnlyHonesty Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Guy calls twice and is labelled a stalker and creepy. Guy doesn't call and is labelled a rude ghost. Guys like me do neither, I just don't bother and threads like this remind me why hahaa.
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