leogirl876 Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 So I'm on eHarmony and been exchanging some messages back & forth with this guy. He seemed alright. He asked if he could call me, so I said sure. I gave him my phone number on the EH email system last night before I went to bed. Well he called me at 8:30 am this morning saying "oh was hoping I'd catch you on your way to work while in rush hour traffic". So I thought it was a little strange but wasn't gonna totally write him off. But then without even giving me a chance to call him back, he calls again around 5 pm today. I didn't answer and he didn't leave a message. I think this is stalkerish and creepy. My brother said I should give him a chance but I don't want to now. Does anyone else think this is a red flag?
SevenCity Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 He may be excited or be a stalker. It's hard to tell. I don't like when people don't give me a chance to call them back. But I'm a guy so if she was hot enough it would stop me
DrReplyInRhymes Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 So I'm on eHarmony and been exchanging some messages back & forth with this guy. He seemed alright. He asked if he could call me, so I said sure. I gave him my phone number on the EH email system last night before I went to bed. Well he called me at 8:30 am this morning saying "oh was hoping I'd catch you on your way to work while in rush hour traffic". So I thought it was a little strange but wasn't gonna totally write him off. But then without even giving me a chance to call him back, he calls again around 5 pm today. I didn't answer and he didn't leave a message. I think this is stalkerish and creepy. My brother said I should give him a chance but I don't want to now. Does anyone else think this is a red flag? It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, only what you do, 2 guys can do the same thing, but the one you like wouldn't be creepy to you! So, do you like this guy a lot? Do you want to see where it goes? Or would you rather label him creepy and block his number out of woe? 2
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 I don't find it stalker-ish. He called you before work and after work he is clearly excited to get in touch with you. I thought you were going to say he called you at 10am again that would be a bit much. He sound like he is being respectful not to call you at times you might be occupied and just wants to talk. Call him back and see what's what, if you like him. Don't let something as small as that turn you off already. 1
biker23 Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 He likes you. Tried you at rush hour morning then waited all day and called hoping you'd be driving home. Granted I wouldn't call at either time. I typically set it up for evening sometime. At least not an initial call. 1
jazzyhands89 Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 Creepy and stalker are too strong of words. I don't think you're interested in him 5
Author leogirl876 Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 Creepy and stalker are too strong of words. I don't think you're interested in him Yeah I think you're probably right, not that crazy about him, but still thinking it's over the top.
preraph Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Here's what it is. He has some reason (married) he doesn't want to call except when he's in rush hour traffic coming and going to work. He may hope you are also sneaking around. 1
katiegrl Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Re calling you during rush hour, maybe he felt jovial at that moment and wanted to be spontaneous.... that first phone call can be quite nerve-wracking. Since he missed you that time, he thought he'd give it another shot later. I don't think that is stalkerish, that is a man who is interested! But let's be honest leogirl, you said yesterday you prefer to wonder about a man's interest in the early stages (it increases your attraction).... so it makes sense that his obviously high interest would turn you off a bit. There is nothing wrong with that! But to call him a phone stalker is a bit of a reach IMO. Just next him and find a guy who isn't so transparent about his interest.... who makes you wonder a bit. Again, nothing wrong with that whatsoever. 4
DramaInPajamas Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Why didnt you text him and suggest arranging a time to speak later this evening rather than letting him do the chasing which i probably just early enthusiasm? It is a two way street.
joseb Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Stalkerish is more like calling you every hour till you block the number, then resorting to 50 unanswered text messages till you block that, and then somehow finding you on tinder via tinder social... 1
Zippy2000 Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Re calling you during rush hour, maybe he felt jovial at that moment and wanted to be spontaneous.... that first phone call can be quite nerve-wracking. Since he missed you that time, he thought he'd give it another shot later. I don't think that is stalkerish, that is a man who is interested! Calling before work and then calling after work not only a sign of too much interest but probably checking up on you if you are at work. These may be the actions of a stalker. Give it time and we`ll see. By the way......the Restraining order is in the post.
BaileyB Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I'm not sure I would write him off just yet, if you are interested. But, I do think it shows poor judgment. Those are strange times to be making a call and trying to connect. 1
jen1447 Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 So he asked if he could call you, you said yes and gave him your number, he's called twice, and he's a phone stalker? What exactly did you think would happen when you invited him to call you - that he wouldn't call you? 2
LookAtThisPOst Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Yeah I think you're probably right, not that crazy about him, but still thinking it's over the top. You're not that crazy about him, but...you gave him your number anyway? Hmmmm. 1
smackie9 Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I don't get why he would need to chit chat during rush hour....how about chit chat over dinner? What's wrong with asking a lady out for a date to talk and get to know each other then if you are soooooooo interested? 1
Larryville Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 If someone gives me their number and I don't know their work habits or daily routines until I know what those are I just simply tell them that I will text them first to make sure they are available and not just randomly call. If you were just meeting someone and just calling out of the blue it's kind of inconsiderate.
NIGHT1985 Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Stalker over 2 phone calls? You seriously have some issues. 3
katiegrl Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I don't get why he would need to chit chat during rush hour....how about chit chat over dinner? What's wrong with asking a lady out for a date to talk and get to know each other then if you are soooooooo interested? He was being spontaneous ..... being spontaneous myself, I totally get it. Probably listening to some cool tunes in the car, feeling upbeat and wanting to touch base real quick.. I would have thought it was funny! Great way to break the ice. Since I would have been getting ready for work, I would have laughed and arranged a time to talk later. In the meantime, he touched based, we heard the sound of each other's voice (huge deal for me).... and have something to look forward to later. I love men like that. Spontaneous, gregarious... risk taker. To each his own though. 2
Grisho Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 We need to avoid using words like "stalker" in threads like this, I think. Clearly it's not in any way stalking. By throwing the word around, we lessen it's impact when we do use it for concerning situations. 1
Bialy Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I don't view this as stalker behavior at all. You must not be attracted to him. And that's okay --- but there's no need to immediately label him creepy or a stalker. To me, a stalker is someone who calls several times a day without warning and for no reason.
Author leogirl876 Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 I still haven't called him back and he texted me again this morning. When I say it's ok to call me, it's IMO generally assumed people call later on in the evening, not at 8:30 am in the morning. If that's all he did, then I wouldn't care, it was the fact that he's not even giving me a chance to call him back, he keeps reaching out. Now maybe saying stalker was a little over the top, a stalker yes would be calling every hour, I do think it's poor judgement on his part. We've never even met, we've only communicated through the OLD email system, so I think it's weird he's contacted me this much. Especially since I said in my message I was going out of town for my birthday this weekend and would be busy the rest of the week.
Bialy Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 When will you meet him? He's probably been burned so many times with women flaking on him that he's trying to demonstrate that he is responsive and very interested.
DramaInPajamas Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I still haven't called him back and he texted me again this morning. When I say it's ok to call me, it's IMO generally assumed people call later on in the evening, not at 8:30 am in the morning. If that's all he did, then I wouldn't care, it was the fact that he's not even giving me a chance to call him back, he keeps reaching out. Now maybe saying stalker was a little over the top, a stalker yes would be calling every hour, I do think it's poor judgement on his part. We've never even met, we've only communicated through the OLD email system, so I think it's weird he's contacted me this much. Especially since I said in my message I was going out of town for my birthday this weekend and would be busy the rest of the week. Ok so either you want to talk to him or you dont. You said it was ok to call. He called at a funny time. But you havent communicated if/when to call. Do that and problem solved.
bachdude Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Where did he get the idea you would be caught in rush hour at 8:30 am? Did you email about that? Or was it a guess on his part?
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