Been dumped in the second time.

[msms21]

Hey loveshack.. wasnt active here for long time ..

My story is long. Me and my girlfriend been with each other for 4 and half years total. 2 years ago she dumped me, and dated with another guy for 6 months. Some of ot was my fault cus i sure made few mistakes but she hurted me real bad. By thw guide i went to.the NC rule and it worked.! I was shocked when she called and wanted me back. We spent 1 year and 3 months again in a realtionship. The last few months was hard. We fought alot and she was jealous to me all the time. Some of the cases i admit i should had stop, but i never cheated or somthing. One month ago i got really tierd of all.the yelling and fighting so we had some stupid fight and she ended it. I acutally was needed the space and i was sure we go back to each other so i havent done anything about it. Until friday. I had the worst night ever, i was drunk and some one stole my phone and wallet in party.i was pretty upset so i called her. She told me she loves me and i tought we went back to.each other..but than we met yeaterday and ahe started to say things like she will never forget me and ill always be in her heart. I was shocked. Started beg her to come.back to me(big mistake).

She ofcourse didnt want to go back to me and seemed to be very cold . Accept the part she says she.loves me but things just dont work out. Does.NC may help me get a third chance.or i lost her?

.

[Blanco]

You have entirely missed the point of NC, I'm afraid.

[Blanco]

I just read your thread from two years ago. Goodness, man, people were telling you there not to get back with her based on the information you shared.

 

Don't you feel upset that you've essentially spun your wheels for TWO YEARS because of this girl?

 

Just imagine where you might or who you might be with now if you had done the difficult thing two years ago and just let this (kinda lousy sounding) girl go? And you want to waste even more time in hopes of a third chance with her? C'mon, don't waste your youth on a proven failure.

[Redhead14]

Hey loveshack.. wasnt active here for long time ..

My story is long. Me and my girlfriend been with each other for 4 and half years total. 2 years ago she dumped me, and dated with another guy for 6 months. Some of ot was my fault cus i sure made few mistakes but she hurted me real bad. By thw guide i went to.the NC rule and it worked.! I was shocked when she called and wanted me back. We spent 1 year and 3 months again in a realtionship. The last few months was hard. We fought alot and she was jealous to me all the time. Some of the cases i admit i should had stop, but i never cheated or somthing. One month ago i got really tierd of all.the yelling and fighting so we had some stupid fight and she ended it. I acutally was needed the space and i was sure we go back to each other so i havent done anything about it. Until friday. I had the worst night ever, i was drunk and some one stole my phone and wallet in party.i was pretty upset so i called her. She told me she loves me and i tought we went back to.each other..but than we met yeaterday and ahe started to say things like she will never forget me and ill always be in her heart. I was shocked. Started beg her to come.back to me(big mistake).

She ofcourse didnt want to go back to me and seemed to be very cold . Accept the part she says she.loves me but things just dont work out. Does.NC may help me get a third chance.or i lost her?

.

 

 

No contact is not a tool to be used with the goal of getting a partner back, no contact is for YOU to move on and process a break up.

 

If you are using no contact that way, all it does usually is keep you in a never-ending loop of an off and on relationship. This relationship has been rocky and will never get real legs under it. Go no contact which means you never call her again and you never accept contact from her again. You block her off social media/phone and delete her number.

 

And, by the way, if someone stole your phone, how did you call her?

 

Just keep moving this time and don't look back.

[msms21]

I just read your thread from two years ago. Goodness, man, people were telling you there not to get back with her based on the information you shared.

 

Don't you feel upset that you've essentially spun your wheels for TWO YEARS because of this girl?

 

Just imagine where you might or who you might be with now if you had done the difficult thing two years ago and just let this (kinda lousy sounding) girl go? And you want to waste even more time in hopes of a third chance with her? C'mon, don't waste your youth on a proven failure.

 

I really dont know what i have. Shes playing with my head all the time !!! She can make me feel so guilty, so broken, and to see her so cold to me just kill my heart. Im good looking and its not that problem, but im so locked on her all the time, on her face, Touch, smell, im having a hard time to find someone I really want to date with. She touches the deepest parts in my soul and than makes me feel bad with my self. That ive been mistaken, that i hurt her, and than i ask for forgiveness even if i know i havent done anything bad. I dont know who I can tell anymore, im just tierd, my heart is hurt and im scared of not finding someone better than her. Im starting to think that it is all my fault, that i made her go this behaviour, because i didnt stop talking with the female friends she told me to, i havent told her i love her alot lately. But i dont know, i run out of powers to fight with her all the time. Deep down i even know your right, but im so confused, and so afarid again from being alone that i just keep beging to her like an idiot. The thinking she might be with some one alse is killing me again ! Im 23 soon, im a manager of 17 workers and they see me broken and shatterd. When i was in the army and she broke up with me i was so depress and all my inviorment saw me as depress person, somthing i promised to my self not to go back too. And i do. Maybe its all in my head, but i really dont know how to ignore all of this, i run out of hope..

 

No contact is not a tool to be used with the goal of getting a partner back, no contact is for YOU to move on and process a break up.

 

If you are using no contact that way, all it does usually is keep you in a never-ending loop of an off and on relationship. This relationship has been rocky and will never get real legs under it. Go no contact which means you never call her again and you never accept contact from her again. You block her off social media/phone and delete her number.

 

And, by the way, if someone stole your phone, how did you call her?

 

Just keep moving this time and don't look back.

 

I had another phone and i remmber her number. So thats how i called her. I know my thinking is bad, i was so sure i can do without her this time and she ripped me apart again in some way. Im afarid.to live my life, i afarid to upload photos with my female friends in a thinking she will start dating another guy and it will hurt so bad. Im afarid of dating someone alse because it means its over for good with her, im just so confused and so lost, Shes basically the biggest part of my life and i have to live without it, again. I compare every woman i can date with to her, to her look, to her act, and im not giving my self a real chance. I just dont want to feel and look broken, like ive maybe had mistaken by losing her, like its all my.damn fault. And yes i know i need to move on im just so afarid of not finding someone better, so afarid to feel sorry i lost it.

[fromheart]

You could get her back a third time, but by then you're firmly given her the message that you are willing to be temporarily dumped while she has sex with another man, and then get taken back again.

 

I'm sure that's not what you want for yourself.

 

I see a lot of, 'She makes me feel...' Of course, a lover will make us feel a certain way. But ultimately your are responsible for the way you feel. Take your power back first and foremost, then you can enjoy the way a partner makes you feel, with considerably less of the unpleasantness a relationship can bring up.

[oasis]

Get away from this woman. Fast. She is toxic and will continue to destroy you.

 

 

Don't you want to be happy? Stop going back to the source of your pain. This is what junkies do and it ends up destroying them.

 

 

Stop being a junkie and let this woman go.

[msms21]

So im on NC for 30 days for now.

Blocked her facebook, instgram, whatsapp, sms, everything...

Honestly, deep inside i have a part wanting her to reach me, the memories keeps getting back to me all the time, im really messed up. I feel like i cant let her go. And i want so much to let her go. Really. I wish ive never known her, that much. But my brain keeps asking the same questions! Where is she right now? Does she miss me? Is she with another man? If they are sleeping toghter ?

 

i really want to finally get in a new relationship after all this time, thought it might help me either. The problem is, I lost my confidence on that. I mean, girls shows intrest in me and im just shocked. Afarid to make a move, thinking too much of every step, afarid to express my feelings, keep comparing them to her.

 

I just want to forget her for good, shes killing me, destroying my entire life, I cant keep on living like that, she cant be everything for me

[Blanco]

You need to have a more rationale, well-adjusted perspective about this. Breakups, even rough ones, can be good in that they are great ways to learn about ourselves, love, and in a broader sense, life.

 

Right now, you're taking the dramatic route where you think some Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind scenario is the answer to all of your problems. Don't regret the relationship, because that will be part of your story and what eventually makes you the person you are tomorrow.

 

Take this as an opportunity to have some introspection and maybe even enlightenment about things on a more macro level.

 

Ask yourself:

 

1) What did you learn about yourself from this relationship?

2) What did you learn about relationships from this relationship?

3) Do you have a better idea of what you want in a partner; in a relationship?

4) Do you have a better sense of your non-negotiables than you did before (i.e. things that will be a deal-breaker for you)?

 

Stop thinking that another relationship is going to cure you. All that will do is stunt your growth as a person and you'll just transfer all of your insecurities and sour tastes about your ex onto an innocent, unsuspecting person.

 

As for your ex, it doesn't matter what she's doing. You should assume she's dating or sleeping with other people. Because guess what: It will happen eventually. From personal experience, it's best for to just get that out of the way so you have no fantasies that they're just sitting idly by waiting for you to call.