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hot touching, lukewarm kissing?


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Posted

so im quite puzzled with this one.

my best friend started getting romantic with a mutual acquaintance of ours. he seems like a nice guy, but i dont think i can understand him well as a person as he's quite introverted. anyway, my friend told me that the other day they were cuddling (without sex) and he also wouldnt keep his hands off of her derriere. but he didnt make a move to kiss her, so she initiated a kiss. they kissed only a handful of times that day, and very shortly. not even french kisses, more like pecks.

 

my friend thinks he's just taking it slow, but my opinion is that there;s something off. that he's just not that into her. he can't go and touch her curves passionately but give lukewarm kisses! i told her that maybe there's someone else he fancies more and just uses my friend for affection and maybe sex in the future. in the meanwhile he has told her he wants to take things slow and see how it goes. so he hasn't claimed her, even though he's jealous about other guys talking to her.

 

what do u guys think?

Posted

What's it got to do with you? Jealous?

Posted

He's only into her body, not her but he knows he has to do "some" kissing to touch that body. Next.

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Posted
What's it got to do with you? Jealous?

 

no, she's my best friend and has been through some very hard times :/ i dont want her hurt

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Posted
He's only into her body, not her but he knows he has to do "some" kissing to touch that body. Next.

 

yep, that's what i think too.. thank you!

Posted

Does he know how to kiss? Pecks are usually the safe approach.

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Posted

Sounds like he could just want her for sex and doesn't want to show her too much affection, maybe she had bad breath? Maybe he thought he did? Maybe he is trying to figure out his sexual orientation?

 

One time is not enough to determine something, it's easier to determine things when you see patterns.

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Posted
Does he know how to kiss? Pecks are usually the safe approach.

 

hmmm... that's something i never thought about before. he IS a low profile guy. friend told me he hasn't had a relationship in 12 years, but i don't know if i believe that o_O but even if it's just pecks, when u like someone won't u be all over their lips? :p

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Posted
Sounds like he could just want her for sex and doesn't want to show her too much affection, maybe she had bad breath? Maybe he thought he did? Maybe he is trying to figure out his sexual orientation?

 

One time is not enough to determine something, it's easier to determine things when you see patterns.

 

that's a useful piece of advice

 

hm, my friend definitely doesn't have bad breath, and she didnt complain about his either. maybe he was self conscious though, i have to give him that. i guess she just has to keep her eyes open

Posted
hmmm... that's something i never thought about before. he IS a low profile guy. friend told me he hasn't had a relationship in 12 years, but i don't know if i believe that o_O but even if it's just pecks, when u like someone won't u be all over their lips? :p

 

Yeah that sounds like a recipe for performance anxiety to me. It's a fear thing - if you're mainly afraid (which he probably is if he's so far out of the game like that) you'll be really cautious. He may like her a lot and even want her kinda bad but that usually doesn't cover fear unless/until you're able to relax a bit.

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Posted
Yeah that sounds like a recipe for performance anxiety to me. It's a fear thing - if you're mainly afraid (which he probably is if he's so far out of the game like that) you'll be really cautious. He may like her a lot and even want her kinda bad but that usually doesn't cover fear unless/until you're able to relax a bit.

 

oh wow, that's an interesting and quite understanding point of view. now i feel kinda bad for saying that he's not into her :/

 

but i wonder, doesn't performance anxiety affect everything (kissing, touching, sex)? or is touching (groping!) easier than kissing for anxious people??

Posted

Yeah he does not sound into her I would tell her to stop dating him

Posted
oh wow, that's an interesting and quite understanding point of view. now i feel kinda bad for saying that he's not into her :/

 

but i wonder, doesn't performance anxiety affect everything (kissing, touching, sex)? or is touching (groping!) easier than kissing for anxious people??

 

Well groping's pretty easy lol, all you have to do is grab a handful, doesn't require any interaction. It might be about all he's willing to 'risk' so to speak.

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Posted
Well groping's pretty easy lol, all you have to do is grab a handful, doesn't require any interaction. It might be about all he's willing to 'risk' so to speak.

 

you were right after all :)

 

he was just inexperienced, my friend told me that today he was kissing her constantly, so everything looks legit

Posted
you were right after all :)

 

he was just inexperienced, my friend told me that today he was kissing her constantly, so everything looks legit

 

Yay for her. :)

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