Louisa1997 Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 I recently met a guy who works at a hotel bar/restaurant (he's 18, the same age as me) when I visited the bar for a drink with my mother. At first we were all just introducing ourselves (we're regulars at this bar and he's fairly new) but gradually I've started talking to him more on our own. When we talk, he keeps smoothing over his hair and when I'm not looking at him he keeps looking at me. He also remembers things I say about me and he always calls me by my name unlike he does to other people. Recently, I found him on Facebook and I've been massively debating with myself whether I should add him. We have two mutual friends on Facebook (coincidence) and he keep popping up in the "people you may know" section. Do you think it looks odd to add him on Facebook even though we talk at the bar. We've spoken quite a few times now and we even went to the same college this past year. He was in a class quite close to me but we never noticed each other. I just feel a bit silly adding him because it might appear like I was purposely looking him up in a stalkerish way. I think it would be a great way to chat to him outside his workplace but because I'm so shy, I feel hesitant. Do you think I should add him?
GorillaTheater Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 Why the hell not? It's just FB; it's not like you're asking him to pick out the names of your future children. 2
TheLawyer Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 Well, once you add him on Facebook you pretty much have to sleep with him, change your will to include him, and give him money. Oh wait, none of those things apply! Don't worry, it's just Facebook! If you're comfortable with him seeing all your photos and comments etc then why not? It means you get to see his! 2
Gloria25 Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 I'm dying to hear the answers on this one. Cuz, I wouldn't add as a "friend" and/or even post pictures of a guy I had romantic interest with - unless I was serious about him...but some people tell me Millenials just add anybody. I don't add "acquaintances" to Facebook. Why? Cuz it's pics of my family and I. I consider that private stuff that I don't share with everyone. And, I wanna respect their privacy. Adding someone to Fakebook that I'm not dating seriously is like taking them to Xmas dinner and that's inappropriate. You don't introduce someone to the family on Xmas if you're not serious. Now, if your family meets the person at a BBQ, that's cool. Or if you bring them over for Xmas you could probably be like, 'Uh, brought him/her cuz he/she had no other plans for the holidays and that way your family might suspect that you're messing around, but at the same time kinda get it that you're not jumping the gun and introducing them to the family formally. Me? I already intentionally leave public what I would like some guy who's interested in me to see on my FB. I don't add as friends and/or pics of guys I'm not serious about. I mean think about it? Do you want a digital mark of every person who you dated on your FB for family and other friends to see? So, what if the current person who you are dating takes issue with the pics you still wanna keep of you and your ex (es)? I don't know. Since the Millenials just add anybody. I think I might see if f there's a way I could add someone, but limit who sees them and what they can see. The day we're getting serious, then I'll lift the privacy controls. Or better yet. Set up two Fakebooks. One for just dating, acquaintances, and another for family and people you are serious about.
Springsummer Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 (edited) FB sucks! It's torturous to add a guy you are interested in but it appears he is not interested in you(or he will like you post or do something). you constantly want to go to FB just to see what he is up to or if and when he was online. and you nervously wondering when he is going to have someone, but it's not going to be you. and then you added some new pics, and he instantly went online, and you wonder if that means you are on his close friend list? but he doesn't really know you. otherwise maybe just a pure coincident? and when he is or isn't online late at night, you are wondering if he is alone or with someone. pure torture. it makes you crazy! Don't go there! Edited August 3, 2016 by Springsummer 3
Larryville Posted August 3, 2016 Posted August 3, 2016 I'm so shy, I feel hesitant. That is your gut talking, the quickest way to screw your life up is ignoring it… Do you think I should add him? Hell no! Let’s just repeat the obvious, maybe not so obvious to some but the era in which we live… You should friend people you have an actual real-life connection to, like true friends, family, MAYBE coworkers, or MAYBE classmates.” a fairly accurate definition of whom you should be friends with. Just get a generic email and do that. Don’t understand why folks don’t do that anyway.
sam light Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Go for broke. Add him then immediately list him as the person you're in a relationship with.
Author Louisa1997 Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 Thank you for your answers. I have his number as I work in property and he is looking for a new place to rent. I told him I'll text him with any places I find (which I have done). Do you reckon it would be better just to send him a quick text like I said I'll do and see if conversation flows from there?
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