I miss her even more.

[Apparition]

Without going into too much detail, my ex and I haven't spoken for two weeks, going onto three.

 

I figured I would start talking to other girls, not to date or anything but just to remind myself she's not the only woman out there and simply for an ego-boost to make myself feel wanted. I'm not looking for sex, just some company, meet new people, make friends etc.

 

However, I already missed my ex before this and now that has made it even worse. I'm practically aching for her. I've been talking to a couple women. One of them I connected with and had a lot in common with, she was fun to talk to but she would stop replying every so often and I'm not in the mood to chase anyone. Other females I've been talking to don't ask me about myself, it's all about them, when I ask how their day is going, they don't even ask how mine is in return. It's like talking to brick walls, so I quit.

 

It makes me feel like I'm never going to find a special someone like my ex who I could talk to all day/everyday about anything.

[PegNosePete]

Your post seems a bit confusing and contradictory... not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just an expression of the confusion in your head.

 

You're just looking to meet new people and make friends? Then why talk to women not guys too?

 

It makes you feel like you'll never meet someone special - but you're not even trying. So no, of course it won't happen if you're not even trying.

 

I think you need to sort out what you're looking for. Either jump into the dating pool with both feet (which I wouldn't recommend while you're feeling this way), or just put meeting someone special on hold for now, just enjoy being single. I don't mean being single as in sleeping with loads of women, I mean following your own personal dreams, get some new hobbies, join a band, go backpacking around China for a month. Whatever YOU want to do, with NO pressure of finding someone else. Then when you feel like you're ready to find a new relationship, then you can start looking properly.

 

Despite what they say, life is long. It is the longest thing you'll ever experience. Take your time, there's no rush.

[Apparition]

Your post seems a bit confusing and contradictory... not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just an expression of the confusion in your head.

 

You're just looking to meet new people and make friends? Then why talk to women not guys too?

 

It makes you feel like you'll never meet someone special - but you're not even trying. So no, of course it won't happen if you're not even trying.

 

I think you need to sort out what you're looking for. Either jump into the dating pool with both feet (which I wouldn't recommend while you're feeling this way), or just put meeting someone special on hold for now, just enjoy being single. I don't mean being single as in sleeping with loads of women, I mean following your own personal dreams, get some new hobbies, join a band, go backpacking around China for a month. Whatever YOU want to do, with NO pressure of finding someone else. Then when you feel like you're ready to find a new relationship, then you can start looking properly.

 

Despite what they say, life is long. It is the longest thing you'll ever experience. Take your time, there's no rush.

 

I said that it was for an ego-boost. Talking to guys wouldn't give me an ego boost or make me feel wanted. I'm not looking to date, I'm single and like I said I want to enjoy some company and remind myself that she's not the only woman in the world. I'm not into guys that way, so talking to them wouldn't make me feel like that.

 

I meant that talking to these women made me miss my ex even more because they don't even ask how my day is or take an interest in me/my life and our humor is off. Talking to them made me think I probably won't find another person like my ex even when I am ready to start looking. I also said I'd like to meet new friends but I don't enjoy talking to people who have no interest in me or my life, that's not something that will develop into a friendship. As for male friends, I have enough of those but it would be cool to meet new female friends since I had to let go of my circle bc they are mutual friends with my ex.

 

 

Backpacking sounds good, though. I may take that up and go for a hike and camp or something. Things I haven't done before. Thanks for your advice.

[NIGHT1985]

I know what you mean and I wish I could say it gets better. Me and my ex have been split since last July, but we've remained friends until this past May, with me believing we would eventually work things out. She ended up falling in love with someone else which put me back in the dating pool.

 

Online dating in my area leads to people that have 1. No depth, 2. A bunch of kids, 3. They're wishy washy and like you said and don't show much interest in me and want to be chased. 4. None of them seem to have the humor that me and my ex had.

 

It just sucks, before her I was so independent and didn't really desire a companionship on that level, now it's all I crave for.

[FTM042014]

I can relate to all of this. Rule of thumb: if dating other women or talking casually to other women makes you miss your ex even more you are not ready to do so. You may just end up leading someone on and hurting them. Last thing you want is to make someone feel as horrible as you do. We need less of that in the world.

 

Will you ever have that same connection with another girl? No. Every relationship is different. But in time when you are in a better space and have PROCESSED AND ACCEPTED the breakup you will be able to connect with a new girl. And it can be as special and deep and unique. Just different. You probably never thought you'd have that with her before she came into your life did you? Well guess what it happened. Who says it won't again?

 

I've been there. I am still there a year later. It's hard. It's painful. I know.

[Apparition]

I know what you mean and I wish I could say it gets better. Me and my ex have been split since last July, but we've remained friends until this past May, with me believing we would eventually work things out. She ended up falling in love with someone else which put me back in the dating pool.

 

Online dating in my area leads to people that have 1. No depth, 2. A bunch of kids, 3. They're wishy washy and like you said and don't show much interest in me and want to be chased. 4. None of them seem to have the humor that me and my ex had.

 

It just sucks, before her I was so independent and didn't really desire a companionship on that level, now it's all I crave for.

 

 

 

Sorry to hear that, man. Have you posted your story? I may take a read at it.

[Apparition]

I can relate to all of this. Rule of thumb: if dating other women or talking casually to other women makes you miss your ex even more you are not ready to do so. You may just end up leading someone on and hurting them. Last thing you want is to make someone feel as horrible as you do. We need less of that in the world.

 

Will you ever have that same connection with another girl? No. Every relationship is different. But in time when you are in a better space and have PROCESSED AND ACCEPTED the breakup you will be able to connect with a new girl. And it can be as special and deep and unique. Just different. You probably never thought you'd have that with her before she came into your life did you? Well guess what it happened. Who says it won't again?

 

I've been there. I am still there a year later. It's hard. It's painful. I know.

 

 

Thanks for your advice, and I agree that I may not be ready for it so I am going to focus on myself and less on people after giving this a good think.

 

However, I am not one to hurt someone and the females I have been speaking to so far have been told I am not looking for anything serious, just friendship and they were cool with it. I'm not that kind of guy. : ) However, perhaps I am not ready to be optimistic just yet and maybe I don't even need to.