ishe23 Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I've been exchanging just about everything but spoken words with a guy at the gym (looks, trying to work out around each other, leaving around the same time, etc.). It's over 6 months and neither one of us have said anything to each other even when we're like just a few feet away from each other! It's harder than it sounds (at least to me), because when we're both at the gym, we're both working out hard, or at least I'm trying to look like I am. I know he checks me out and I check him out all the time. I want to say something to him, but nothing ever comes out. It doesn't help that he's the same way as well. I am getting a little tired and impatient like I know or at least think very much that he's attracted to me. Because of the gym environment (super busy rush hour, huge commercial gym) and how we're always working out, it's hard for me to approach him and I can see why he would be intimidated as well. I'm thinking of just walking by him casually one day when he's on the bench press and drop him a note with my number. Guys - would this be a turn off if a woman did this to you? I normally would not give out my number this way, but I feel like doing this would cut the chase and let him know I'm interested. I'm also prepared if doesn't call me either, because honestly, I just want to stop this madness of me waiting impatiently for him to approach me. Ugh. Go for it or not?
PegNosePete Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I think it would be better to just say something. Break the ice. You said you leave around the same time. Next time you're both leaving say something funny like "hey do you come here often?". If he is interested he will surely follow through after that. 2
J21 Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I know as a guy I would love it (presuming the interest was there of course). Maybe he's a shy guy, or never hit on anyone in public. Go for it! At least you leave the ball in his court after that. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 Yes, he could be shy....or has a gf and though attracted, doesn't want to go beyond just checking you out. I am going to assume that you don't see a ring, so at least he isn't married (presumably). Anyway, you will never find out unless you ask.
SwordofFlame Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 If you lift, ask him to check your form on your lifts. That's a great way to break the ice.
Tayla Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 Introduce yourself. Save the phone number avenue after certain information has been verified. It's nice to be intrigued. 2
jen1447 Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I know it's a challenge if you're shy, but just saying sth would really be better. 2
sugarpuss Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I'd definitely just try casually talking first. Since you're at the gym and obviously have interests in common, it shouldn't be too hard to come up with a subject to talk about. Save the number for later...it could be embarrassing if you stuck with your plan and he never called you (or worse, confronted you and told you he wasn't interested!). Especially since you're both there all the time.
S_A Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 (edited) Haha dropping the note with the number would be hot. It'd make you seem mysterious (at least the way I imagine it). Chances are he'd never approach you at the gym, so you may have to initiate. He may think the looks are accidental. This may be in part because I think most guys "know" that we shouldn't approach at a gym. I think a lot of guys have sort of been implanted with the idea that we shouldn't approach girls at the gym. Not sure where it came from, but it's always something I felt I should not do. It might be because the biggest fails I have ever seen in my life (when it comes to men aproaching women) happens at the gym. I'd say like of the 10 worst fails I've ever seen, 8 were at the gym. Which is actually pretty rediculous considering how much more time I spend in a outside of a gym than inside in a given week. Edited August 2, 2016 by S_A
Versacehottie Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 Just start a conversation. That's as confident as giving the number. You can even slip it right into the end of the first conversation. Keep the conversation going for enough time that you find SOMETHING that you bond over that would be a future event or reason to contact one another. Then just do the last bold thing and just offer up your number or ask for his or some other form of contact. Off the top of my head, I would say something about that he works out hard and what other workouts does he do? In my area, there are lots of outdoor things that workout people regularly do, so you can ask him if he's ever been or goes to that, like a hike, stairs to work out on, beach that people do workouts or whatever? If he says no, he's never been, say it's great, we should go sometime. If he says he's been or he goes, say you love it too and we should go sometime. Or you can also do the reverse and ask him about other places to workout out besides gym and when he says where he goes, like trails or whatever, tell him you've never been and we should go sometime. It can be vague. Doesn't have to have a date vibe, just confidence and friends with mutual interests. Though you should be flirty because you want to plant the seed and show confidence. Some people will say you need to find out his relationship status before you do this. I don't think so. It could be friends; it could be more; it could be something that isn't even acted upon until the future so for the moment, it's just two people with mutual interests. Even if you don't have the courage to say "we should go sometime", start a conversation and it should build from there pretty easily. He will probably be grateful that you did it. Most guys (even ones that aren't shy) are shy to approach at the gym because they don't want to seem creepy. If you show direct interest, especially at the gym, it's good. Good luck! I think it will go well.
Author ishe23 Posted August 2, 2016 Author Posted August 2, 2016 I'm not sure who's all male or female, but so far, it seems like most male posters are ok with the note idea while females say no. I tried going near him the other day, and nothing came out from neither one of us. We just sat there and steal looks at each other, praying that one of us would do something.
preraph Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 If you leave the note, the guy is going to likely assume you are up for just a hookup. Because you haven't even talked to him or shown interest in who he is. 2
biker23 Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 Find an angle to talk. Ask advice or compliment. I talked to a girl once because she had a hat with an out of state baseball team so I asked if she was from there. Now we are awesome friends. Said she had wanted me to talk to her for weeks. I had no idea. Guys don't feel great about approaching girls at the gym. It's a bit taboo. But go ahead and take initiative. And no don't drop your number. No no.
SoThatHappened Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 Haha dropping the note with the number would be hot. Just drop a dumbbell on his toes next time you're near him. About a 20-pounder would do it. That way, you can take him to the hospital and really spend some time getting to know him while waiting for his x-rays. Ice (and probably a couple toes) broken.
JewelD Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 Talk to him first to see if he's possibly interested. Guys might say it's hot because they're assuming the number would be coming from someone they were interested in. If it came from someone they weren't interested in or they had a gf, I'm sure they'd feel a bit weird. Since you don't know for sure if he's interested, you have to consider how you might feel if you gave him your number and he gave it right back or called you for a booty call or something. At least if you talk first, you can play it off as just being friendly. 1
S_A Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 If you leave the note, the guy is going to likely assume you are up for just a hookup. Because you haven't even talked to him or shown interest in who he is. You know... The guys on Tinder that want to only "hook up" go for the girls that say they are NOT looking for a hook up in their profiles. Those are apparrently the easiest. Just saying. It takes two to just "hook up". The OP doesn't need to be that girl if she doesn't want to. It's actually her choice alone. The guy doesn't have the choice. Also, If this guy was looking to just hook up, he would have done something 6 months ago. He's definitely not a "hook up" artist. A lot of guys will play it conservative at the gym IME.
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