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Second date and the stuff around it


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Posted

Hey,

so got a number from a woman. We are both 30. Sarcastic, dirty, and humorous. Prior to the first date we texted for a couple of days, long interesting texts, which made me feel like there is some kind of a bond there. Im not into one night stands, been there done that, she's also not. We went out on a date to a quiet Restaurant and then walked around the City and ice cream. super cheesy but it was cool. (from my Point of view). Since then she replies to me with very short texts or just emojis, which i hate. im not being overly attached and dont blast her with texts. I feel that there is much less excitement from her side, in comparison to earlier. (I can already recognize the pattern). She agreed to a second date. Its Happening in 2 days. So how should I "win her over"?

 

Thanks a lot,

E

Posted

You should win her over by playing her at her own game.

 

If she doesn't put the effort in? Move on.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted

....aaaand she called it off on the grounds of no romantic feelings from her side.

Thanks a lot anyway man!

 

E.

Posted
....aaaand she called it off on the grounds of no romantic feelings from her side.

Thanks a lot anyway man!

 

E.

 

Better that than lead you on and let you take her out again.

  • Like 2
Posted

In the future, use the phone and text to set up dates, don't text and chit chat in between. I have found the guys that have built the strongest attractions were the ones that weren't so available. If a guy is calling or texting me too much in between dates, it starts feeling clingy. For me, I like to wonder about the guy and wonder if he likes me. When I wonder about him liking me, it increases my attraction. The guys that just wanted to talk to me all the time, burned the attraction. I'm not saying you did this, but just giving you advice for the future.

Posted (edited)

 

For me, I like to wonder about the guy and wonder if he likes me. When I wonder about him liking me, it increases my attraction.

 

The guys that just wanted to talk to me all the time, burned the attraction .

 

That's interesting leogirl. For me, while I do like wondering about a guy and having time to miss him, I definitely need to know he likes me.... that actually increases my attraction.

 

I agree that guys who want to talk to/text me all the time burn the attraction though.

 

I guess it's a fine line between showing me they like me, while at the same time maintaining a certain distance.

 

Probably why I have been known to drive guys (some, not all) a bit crazy at times.... albeit unintentionally.

Edited by katiegrl
Posted
That's interesting leogirl. For me, while I do like wondering about a guy and having time to miss him, I definitely need to know he likes me.... that actually increases my attraction.

 

I agree that guys who want to talk to/text me all the time burn the attraction though.

 

I guess it's a fine line between showing me they like me, while at the same time maintaining a certain distance.

 

Probably why I have been known to drive guys (some, not all) a bit crazy at times.... albeit unintentionally.

 

Oh don't get me wrong, I do need to know that he likes me and is interested, but I do need mystery and need to wonder how much he likes me. I get turned off by a guy that turns into a puppy dog in the first couple of weeks, like calling and texting a lot before we've even been on a first date!

Posted

You gotta play hard to get. We all love to make a guy interested in us. Don't text back right away. Be "busy" and get her wondering.

 

Step back and look at how she just did that to you ;)

Posted
You gotta play hard to get. We all love to make a guy interested in us. Don't text back right away. Be "busy" and get her wondering.

 

Step back and look at how she just did that to you ;)

 

Even better, have enough going on in your life that you do that without playing a game. When you set up a date with her, you put it on your calendar and you keep that commitment, because that is what you do. In the meantime, you keep living your generally full life without having much time to think about a woman you don't even know yet. If you are feeling chivalrous, get her the day of the date to confirm time and details. I was surprised to find out women liked that.

 

Beyond that, hopefully you have enough going on in your life that you don't have that much time to stress about and pine over some woman you know nothing about. Further along, after you get to know her, she might be worth some space in your head. But until then, she is a stranger that might or might not be worth your attention.

  • Author
Posted

Yes all interesting and correct Points. I thank you for the advices.

I have to say that I DID try the "Hands off" Thing, created mystery, didnt talk a lot except the day of the date to confirm. But that also didnt work. I guess it also depends on the Girl. Thats what I need to recognize better at the beginning. What type of woman Needs the one or the other Approach. Yes unfortunately my Job is extra boring, leaving me much time to think about those stuff and to write in dating Forums while i should be working.

But all in good spirits, not being sad or needy.

 

E.

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