Mystique01 Posted August 23, 2016 Posted August 23, 2016 Update! All I can say is wow!! She is moved back to Michigan just about a week ago and we have been inseparable since. During the two weeks she was back down south packing up and finishing out her work schedule we talked every single day. Hundreds of text messages and snaps. We missed each other almost painfully. She got back to Michigan during the day on a Wednesday and came right to my house to see me. I had taken Thursday off so we could spend time together and told her I had a fun day planned. We had such an amazing first real date; it was so much fun. It was a surprise for her as I didn't let on much for details, other than we were going on the motorcycle. I had packed up stuff for a picnic in advance (I have a big touring Harley with lots of luggage space), and we stopped at the deli and grabbed fresh subs. I packed up drinks, a blanket to sit on and my little bluetooth speaker for some music while we ate. We rode about 20 miles north of our town, up to an abandoned ski lodge that I know about. (I actually ride out there pretty often and there aren't any "No Trespassing" signs, so I have never been concerned about hiking around there and taking pictures.) She had no clue about that place, but absolutely LOVED it. She's one of those "right brain" types and loves to take artistic photos, and the broken down chair lifts and dilapidated lodge were exactly the things she likes to photograph. We hiked around the area, talked and laughed. Took lots of pictures together and just enjoyed ourselves. This was probably the best date I have ever had. It was relaxed and fun, never awkward. After we had our lunch, and were beat from hiking up the slopes in the hot sun, we rode back to my house and relaxed. The next day we made plans to take a weekend camping trip, packed up and took off when I was out of work Friday afternoon. I rained the whole weekend, but it didn't hardly matter aside from changing clothes a lot. We had a great dinner Friday night and then headed back to camp and just relaxed in the tent because it was late and raining. We listened to music some, and I read to her from this Steven king book of short stories I have. It was quite romantic laying in the tent with her cuddled up to me while I read to her. We got up early that Saturday and started our day. Grabbed breakfast and coffee, then headed out for a day of being tourists. We took some beautiful pictures on the sand dunes at the shores of Lake Michigan. We sat on the dune and watched and listened to the storm as it came across the lake. It was beautiful. We stayed on the dune as long as we could, but retreated to my truck when the storm hit. That night we ate at a independent Pizza place, then headed back to camp for the night. Again we cuddled, read, and listened to music. Sunday morning the power was out at the park because of the storms, so we packed up and headed home early. It was an amazing weekend. Wow, I never thought I would have feelings like this again. The Sunday we got back from camping she had some things to do so she went a did her errands, etc. After a few hours of being apart, and originally thinking I had said goodbye for at least the day, I got a text saying "ready to hang out some more?" Of course this made me smile and I replied "id love to", and she came back so we could just watch TV together. We really click. We get each other. We miss each other when we're apart. She is my new girlfriend! Awwww!!!!! What a sweet time you two had together! So far, I'm not seeing any red flags OP. So, for the time being I say just enjoy the time you two have with each other! You two do sound awfully cute together. It almost sounds like maybe you've met your soulmate! 1
indeed7 Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 Of course if you like her you should date her! No question about that. It's not an absurd age difference. She's an adult and you are too. So what's the problem? There might be some people making some noises. But who cares what they say? Most of them are probably just bitter and jealous anyway... 1
NIGHT1985 Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 If you go for it, go for it in a causal mindset. 21 year olds aren't fully matured or grown, and will continue to evolve and change until 24-25. So, it just comes with a huge risk. If you want some short casual fun, do it, but if you're looking to settle down, you're wasting your time, imo.
SevenCity Posted August 28, 2016 Posted August 28, 2016 Sorry for the delay in replying... It may not work for you, but I am using this mindset: Enjoy the moment while you have it. I am well aware of the odds of this failing are far greater than the odds that this will result in success (marriage, etc). With that being said, I am not going to dwell on that. I am going to live for the joy of this time with her now. I am going to relish in the excitement of new love. I am going to cherish the time we have now. If/When it comes to its conclusion, I will stay strong and know that I lived and loved rather than missed out on the good times because I was busy fearing the bad. Life is too short to miss out on the joy of love just because of the fear of it ending. That's a healthy attitude - good for you. But from what you've said about your time together you are kidding yourself if you think it won't hurt like a mofo if this comes to an end. That said, I'm happy for you and hope it goes until you get married and beyond!
JoeSmith357-1 Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I could never date someone with that big of an age gap when she is 21 1. You were driving before she was born 2. You were legally drinking before she was in Kindergarten 3. You probably lost your virginity when she was in Kindergarten or first grade I just don't see how that age gap could work when she is so young. Plus you have to ask why she would date someone as old as she is. If she is reasonably attractive and fit, she most certainly has other options. You have exactly nothing in common. Nothing. You can't relate to any of her likes / dislikes. Taste in music, movies, etc. But hey, if she's a nice piece of booty, then have some fun for a while, but don't expect something like this to last long.
SevenCity Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 I could never date someone with that big of an age gap when she is 21 1. You were driving before she was born 2. You were legally drinking before she was in Kindergarten 3. You probably lost your virginity when she was in Kindergarten or first grade I just don't see how that age gap could work when she is so young. Plus you have to ask why she would date someone as old as she is. If she is reasonably attractive and fit, she most certainly has other options. You have exactly nothing in common. Nothing. You can't relate to any of her likes / dislikes. Taste in music, movies, etc. But hey, if she's a nice piece of booty, then have some fun for a while, but don't expect something like this to last long. Why the need to piss in his corn flakes? Just because it wouldn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for him. 1
JoeSmith357-1 Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 Why the need to piss in his corn flakes? Just because it wouldn't work for you doesn't mean it won't work for him. He asked for opinions. I gave mine... Sorry you feel giving an opinion is "pissing in someone's cornflakes"... jesus christ Sorry also if it wasn't what the OP wanted to hear, but when you ask for people's opinions on a public forum, sometimes it's not all sunshine, roses and unicorns And, for the record, more often than not, someone in their late 30's dating a 21 year old isn't going to work out. It's not like I have some far out opinion here. 1
joseb Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 Chances are with the age gap it wont work out long term. But hey, most relationships don't anyway. So why not enjoy it while it lasts I say. 1
smackie9 Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 The young lady is just flattered, and ego boosted that an older man has an interest in her. Simple as that. So of course she's all excited and into it. Issues? As a couple they can relate to each other because of romantic feelings, but the people around them, well that will be a different story. When it comes time to hang out with her friends, there will be some resistance. Her friends will say to themselves....I don't want to hang out with some old guy.
JoeSmith357-1 Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 The young lady is just flattered, and ego boosted that an older man has an interest in her. Simple as that. So of course she's all excited and into it. The first thing that comes to my mind when I see or hear of such a young girl dating someone 16 years older than her is: 1. what kind of emotional baggage does she have 2. she has huge self esteem issues 3. daddy issues or 4. she's a gold digger / sugar mama Issues? As a couple they can relate to each other because of romantic feelings, but the people around them, well that will be a different story. When it comes time to hang out with her friends, there will be some resistance. Her friends will say to themselves....I don't want to hang out with some old guy. There's that too. It's completely different if a 35 year old dates a 50 year old, or even 30/45. At least a good hunk of 30 year old women are mature, well the majority of 35 year olds are anyway. They can see big picture and know what they are getting into. Not, "oh my god, I love this attention from this guy that graduated high school when I was 2"...
SoThatHappened Posted August 29, 2016 Posted August 29, 2016 1. what kind of emotional baggage does she have 2. she has huge self esteem issues 3. daddy issues or 4. she's a gold digger / sugar mama The 22 y/o I dated when I was 33 had all of the above, in spades. Funny thing is, she cheated on me and went out with a guy even older than me. OP, if it were possible to not fall for this girl, my advice would be go for it. Not many people get the chance to be with a 21 y/o hottie when they're knocking 40's door down. I don't regret the crazy sex I had with the girl I mentioned. I regret falling for her. Remember how flighty people are before their late 20's...
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