phineas Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 Everyone would say the guy did it because it's just the stress of getting engaged and to just watch it from here. We get threads like that often about guys attending bachelor parties and getting carried away. There seems to be a consensus that it's normal for a man that is about to change his life to just let it out. OP: I think you are over-reacting. You trust her or you don't, you have to make a choice. In which thread posted up in this here forum did a man go home with multiple women or even one woman and people said "oh he didn't cheat, you are just over-reacting?" 2
Author crispywat Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 well the situation now is this and story as now i know further : she went out with friends (females) text me at 11 to see if i was to join her as her mates mates (males ) where to join. I declined. They met up and she didnt know all the lads only i do and her friend. After the club they had a convo and wanted to carry on the party and decided on one lads house as his was the only one with no partner in bed as single, She went back there they chatted downstairs, then at 4.30ish she went to the toilet and then was followed by one of the lads, he tried to kiss her she said no...she went downstairs ordered a taxi came home and told me. Her friend joined in the taxi and then was also told. I know this having seen the girls emails as my fiance emailed to ask her version of events. She is acknowledging she was wrong to go and can see why i see things and have thoughts. She also is prepared to do anything to make it right. She has blocked any contact available with the lad. I am still upset she went without care for me and knowledge to tell me....but what are all peoples thoughts now....also i have talked to one of the lads who was there who is a mate, and he has advised that he was shocked when i told him what had occured, he said all he saw was people sitting and chatting and didnt even see anyone leave the room let alone go upstairs. Please give me your thoughts people
kgcolonel Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 cripsy, At this point you have a choice...you can trust your fiance and let her know how much this hurt you and where this potentially could have ended the relationship or dump her. Don't sit on this too long as that is as we say here in the south, burning daylight. Don't waste any more time....I see this as your girl made a bad decision in going to the lad's house without out telling you....she pushed the guy away, told you and seems remorseful and recognizes her mistake. I'd forgive but would be watchful going forward. I think this was a limited trip but not a fall. 1
Author crispywat Posted August 4, 2016 Author Posted August 4, 2016 cripsy, At this point you have a choice...you can trust your fiance and let her know how much this hurt you and where this potentially could have ended the relationship or dump her. Don't sit on this too long as that is as we say here in the south, burning daylight. Don't waste any more time....I see this as your girl made a bad decision in going to the lad's house without out telling you....she pushed the guy away, told you and seems remorseful and recognizes her mistake. I'd forgive but would be watchful going forward. I think this was a limited trip but not a fall. I have come to the same conclusion i think, there is some unanswered questions but she has been honest to say i cant answer as there aer a few blank spots. She is very upset herself hates herself etc been crying for days and doesnt want to lose me at all even saying she would do anything needed to not lose me, i dont think even drunk now she would give up all we have for a fumble! I will never know the full truth i guess but i have to see it that nothing happened. She wont repeat this i am sure
stillafool Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 Your fiance and her friend went with the 4 guys to their house because she was attracted to one of them. The only bathroom in the house was upstairs? Okay. She was having a ball that's why she came home at 4:45 AM.
Versacehottie Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I have come to the same conclusion i think, there is some unanswered questions but she has been honest to say i cant answer as there aer a few blank spots. She is very upset herself hates herself etc been crying for days and doesnt want to lose me at all even saying she would do anything needed to not lose me, i dont think even drunk now she would give up all we have for a fumble! I will never know the full truth i guess but i have to see it that nothing happened. She wont repeat this i am sure hhmmmmm interesting, so you now see it as it's fine. You still don't seem to be taking responsibility that you overreacted and have very little trust in her. I can tell you if your solution to ease your own jealousy and feed your possessiveness is to have her cut herself off from people and keeping narrowing the parameters of what she can and can't do, it's gonna be a rocky marriage or at least an unhappy one. 3
jazzyhands89 Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I think you are overreacting. She was honest and told you what happened you either trust her or you don't. 3
Gaeta Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 In many threads we have young women on here talking about their boyfriend going to friend's bachelor parties, where they drink, where there are girls, it's happening in bars, or hotels or at friend's house. It's all about 'there will be girls and strippers there', etc but it's socially acceptable because we know this practice under the term 'bachelor party'. Yet it's the same situation as OP's girlfriend. She was with a friend and a bunch of guys, partying, drinking, etc. It's unacceptable in the eyes of males on here ONLY because she is a woman. Also, OP. You don't own her. She does not have to tell you what time she comes in and you don't have to be offended because she came in at 5 a.m. She is a grown woman and manages her time as she sees fit. When my boyfriend goes out with his friends I don't ask him when he'll come in. I go to bed and he'll come in when he comes in whether it's midnight or 5 a.m. He is old enough he doesn't need me to supervise his time. You know why? because I trust him. I trust him at 3 pm and I trust him at 3 am. In which thread posted up in this here forum did a man go home with multiple women or even one woman and people said "oh he didn't cheat, you are just over-reacting?"
phineas Posted August 4, 2016 Posted August 4, 2016 I have come to the same conclusion i think, there is some unanswered questions but she has been honest to say i cant answer as there aer a few blank spots. She is very upset herself hates herself etc been crying for days and doesnt want to lose me at all even saying she would do anything needed to not lose me, i dont think even drunk now she would give up all we have for a fumble! I will never know the full truth i guess but i have to see it that nothing happened. She wont repeat this i am sure Those blank spots were when she was having sex with one of those guys.
Parrotlet Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 Wow, a lot of people on this thread are jumping to a lot of conclusions. Let me be clear, when you are an attractive woman, men hit on you constantly with little to no encouragement. They cat call you, grab you on the subway, follow you home, etc. I was recently in a similar situation. I was out at a bar with my friend, and her boyfriend was bartending. I was politely talking to the bar owner's friend (who was 20 years my senior, fat and seemed depressed), when out of the blue, he tried to ram his tongue down my throat. Well, I pushed him away and kicked him for good measure. I was only talking to him, because he was friends with the boss and he seemed sad. I was being nice. He was being a jerk. Was it unwise of your fiancée to go back to the apartment? Yes. However, the mere fact that she went with friends does not indicate anything other than she made a bad judgment call. She wanted to keep hanging out with her friends. Some icky dude tried to kiss her. She said no. Case closed. A person can only control her own actions. She cannot control the actions of others around her. Let your jealousy go. 2
bachdude Posted August 5, 2016 Posted August 5, 2016 I think not hearing from her from 11 PM til almost 5 AM is very inconsiderate. For me that would be the main issue. It doesn't sound like she was being inappropriate and she left right away after the guy tried to kiss her so I'd show some trust here. But I think the no contact until almost morning is unacceptable, especially for someone who is about to be your wife. To not be upset about this would show you didn't care about her safety. 1
Recommended Posts