Reznar Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 Me and this girl started talking about 3 months ago. We go to college together and were sex buddies at the time. She wanted a relationship then but didn't say anything, and when she realized i didn't want a relationship she found a boyfriend and they were together for a month. All along while she was with him we were texting and everything was the same. She told me then that she likes me but she doesn't want to cheat on her boyfriend. At that time i started liking her more and more and started wanting a relationship with her. They broke up, and we made out a day after she broke up. However, when they broke up she told me i have to wait now since she needs time and wants to wait a bit until she goes into another relationship. It has been a month now, we were talking a lot and everything was the same. She would even tell me about other boys who contact her and would reject every one of them.Last week she started to send me one word replies and wasn't really into it. Even told me on Skype that these last few days i am really annoying, but i didn't do anything, and was the only one she was even texting. I asked her what's up and she told me that it's nothing and she just doesn't feel like talking to anyone, but when we were on Skype i can clearly see that others were getting huge texts, and when i asked her again after a few days she told me she doesn't know what to talk about anymore since we are talking for so long everyday now. I suggested that we stop texting for a few days and when she feels like it she can text me again. She told me it was a great idea. Asked her one last time if she is 100% sure she wants a relationship with me and she said: "It's not 100%, but for now, yes, i do want a relationship with you". One day passed that we didn't talk and last night she asked me how my day was, we exchanged about 3 texts and she has seen my last message since then. My worries are that she stopped or will stop liking me, i remember when she said: If i didn't like you, we wouldn't be talking so much and we wouldn't be on Skype right now. However we don't do any of that anymore, and i am worried that this pause we are having will only make her lose her feelings. Was it a good idea to stop texting, and how should i assess this situation? I was thinking of inviting her on a date next week.
PegNosePete Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 If I were you I wouldn't play this silly game. She is toying with you like a cat toys with a half dead mouse. It's time to find out which side of the fence she is on. I would ask her on a date today. If she says yes, all good. If she says no, maybe, "not right now" or anything other than "yes", then she simply isn't that into you and you should move on.
Author Reznar Posted August 1, 2016 Author Posted August 1, 2016 I am planning on doing that, but the thing is she just isn't ready for a relationship with anyone. She is rejecting every guy that comes to her. In her previous relationships she was used for sex or was cheated on, and told me she doesn't want to be used again so that's why i have to wait longer. She is probably testing me as a person, she was **** testing me a lot anyway... I invited her on a date and she accepted last week, however since she doesn't have a car her brother had to change plans and we couldn't go. I will see about next week since i am busy atm
salparadise Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 My bet is that she's talking to other guys –– optimizing, shopping for the best offer. I agree with Pete. Time to fish or cut bait. Ask her on a proper date and if the answer is anything other than an enthusiastic yes, go silent on her and find someone else to go out with. I think she will stall you, esp. if you ask several days ahead for a weekend date. Women sometimes do this when they perceive that you're all about them and they wonder if you're the best they can get. You need to become less available, less of a sure thing. Maybe it will work and maybe it won't... but at least you won't be like a puppy on a leash.
Author Reznar Posted August 1, 2016 Author Posted August 1, 2016 (edited) @salparadise, yea i think so too, she does write inbox statuses on facebook every day, but she has been doing that since she broke up, and she never texts any of the guys that like (i know this because she deletes it after she gets like 10-15 likes on it, and just by seeing how quickly she responds to me i can see she isn't texting anyone else, plus the screenshots i get here and there and there really aren't any boys there. She just texted me again today: "i started studying for the tests, maybe not a good idea"... I mean, i told her to text me when she is ready to continue texting on a daily basis, but what she is doing right now is texting me everyday and after exchanging few texts she then stops texting... Now i don't get her. Does she miss me, or wtf is she about. So i will ask for a date, what do you think i can do to make her respond immediately with a yes or a no, if i ask her to go on a date on the same day that won't work since she will probably have plans, but if i ask her in advance she will probably stall... Edited August 1, 2016 by Reznar
PegNosePete Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 she just isn't ready for a relationship with anyone So she says. This is a very old line. I would bet my bottom dollar that if Mr. Perfect came along she would suddenly be ready for a relationship. She just isn't ready for a relationship with you. Does she miss me, or wtf is she about. It means, "welcome to the friend zone. Might as well get comfy cos you'll be here for a long, long time". what do you think i can do to make her respond immediately with a yes or a no, if i ask her to go on a date on the same day that won't work since she will probably have plans, but if i ask her in advance she will probably stall... You can't "make" anyone do anything. You can only ask, and judge her response. Right, don't ask her on a date the same day, make it a couple of days away at least. If she stalls then she's obviously not interested so you forget her and move on.
Author Reznar Posted August 1, 2016 Author Posted August 1, 2016 (edited) So she says. This is a very old line. I would bet my bottom dollar that if Mr. Perfect came along she would suddenly be ready for a relationship. She just isn't ready for a relationship with you. It means, "welcome to the friend zone. Might as well get comfy cos you'll be here for a long, long time". You can't "make" anyone do anything. You can only ask, and judge her response. Right, don't ask her on a date the same day, make it a couple of days away at least. If she stalls then she's obviously not interested so you forget her and move on. It's hard for me to think i am in friendzone since we made out and i have her nudes, and i was getting all kinds of pictures (one when she was bathing, but didn't show anything, rather just a selfie while laying there) even when she was only one word replying, plus she talks about sex with me all the time, i have a lot of female friends and this is not how i talk with them and how we text... When we are together in real life i can see that she definitely wants me. Always standing close to me, getting jealous, looking at my lips all the time, provoking me etc., definitely doing things she isn't doing with her friends. Who knows i'll ask her to tell me everything when i go for the meetup. Edited August 1, 2016 by Reznar
PegNosePete Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 she talks about sex with me all the time Talks about. Yes. Friend zone. When she does sex with you, that is when you're out of the friend zone.
salparadise Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 You have to quit playing by her rules. She is in control. You're like her puppy dog, willing to sniff around licking up whatever tidbits of attention she tosses on the floor. So change the rules and quit being a puppy dog. Ask for a date and then go silent until you get an answer. If the answer is anything other than yes, continue the silence. In other words, your rules are no texting unless we're dating... and even if you're dating, limit the amount to a few a day. I think she's actually just wasting your time and having fun playing you. If you're willing to settle for what you've got now, just keep doing what you're doing.
Author Reznar Posted August 1, 2016 Author Posted August 1, 2016 (edited) I'll ask her today if she wants to go to coffee with me, i am free on thursday and for the weekend. If she says an excuse like: "i don't have a car" i'll tell her i'll pick her up and see if she still uses an excuse. If she does, then i'll wish her good luck and move on. She just texted me again saying how she found a way to study for finals. I seriously don't give a **** about that lmao Edited August 1, 2016 by Reznar 1
Author Reznar Posted August 2, 2016 Author Posted August 2, 2016 Update if anyone cares Yesterday we had a long talk where she told me that she doesn't want to get bored of me and that is why this distance is good, and i basically told her how i expect HER to try hard this time just to see if she wants this or not, i have been trying hard ever since we met, and now it's her turn to do it. Told her to show me if she cares by doing small things (asking me out, for coffee etc.) She said okay, and that she cares for this situation we have and for me, but still for now doesn't want a relationship with anyone. Today she asked me if i am going out this friday, she is going with her female friend and wondered if we will see each other. I decided to be just like i always was but not try too hard, let her do some work. I think it is good that i got this text today because it shows me that she wants to see me and showed me that she DOES care a little bit...
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