LovelyJoey Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 So I've been on this site before and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for everything in the past, and now. I'll take any advice from you and it's immensely appreciated. I've been online dating my girlfriend for a little over 2 months now. It's been great, with both ups and downs occasionally but overall, the experience has been amazing and she's an amazing person to be with, I know I can trust her, I can say very proudly that I'm very lucky to have her. The issue is that, lately, we haven't really been talking much. We'd talk everyday and though she is a person who likes her space, we are barley talking much now within the last week or so. She's told me countless times that she's busy, has her family taking up her time, school started again for her, and other issues that she hasn't quite told me what they were yet, but have really been bugging her lately. She even apologized for being busy and what not a bit before when she was still busy, but now it's like I don't see her really in the last week. Now we wouldn't talk all the time but still a lot, and she has been busy lately, but it's been different this week. I haven't spoken to her in 2 days, and other days throughout the week we never spoke, or she'll come on on talk a little then leave for the whole rest of the day. I only feel in the last week or so, only a few times we've spoken for some time like when she told me something was bugging her or on her mind. She's never really been this way, and I simply do not know what to do or how much longer I can really take it. I've had a lot of relationship issues in the past, and I have really bad anxiety that really kills me on a daily basis, so you can imagine the toll it's taking on me now. I've been doing my best not to mention me missing her badly or why she's not been on lately really, and I know she's been dealing with stuff and I'm also doing my best to be there for her despite not knowing what's going on. She's good to me, great actually, we love each other so much and I know I can trust her. I've just been missing her so much lately and like I said I have anxiety, and while I've been trying my best to calm down, I feel I may do or say something that would make matters worse... so I really don't have any good judgement, or judgement at all on what to do when she doesn't really talk to me anymore in the last week. I simply can't trust myself to make the right decision. Do I simply wait? Do I try to talk to her about it? I don't know and I really need advice because she's amazing and I don't want to ruin anything due to my stupid anxiety that I've had ruin other things. So any advice on what I should do or is the best thing to do would be greatly appreciated, because with my anxiety I feel that all of this may not even be an issue and it's me acting like... me and making an issue out of nothing, or perhaps I've been holding off to long asking her and I should've already... I just miss her so much and while I do occupy myself and have been dealing with things better by helping myself lately, I still struggle and didn't know where else to turn. I figure I might even talk to her little brother about it or something since I do talk to him and we are a bit close, but then that could also be a very bad decision. Thank you all, I appreciate your help greatly!
Lois_Griffin Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 Well, it has to be asked. Have you two actually MET face to face? If not, it's all just one big online fantasy. Truth is, her REAL life has to take precedence over a Skype 'romance.' She's got things to do and people to see and doesn't have 3 hours a day to sit in front of her computer and chat with you or watch YouTube videos together. Real life calls. You should enrich your own real life and not spend it in your room waiting for her to log onto Skype. There's a whole REAL world out there. 1
BaileyB Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 I'm sorry to hear that you are not happy and having difficulty dealing with the anxiety of the situation. Anxiety is the worst! But, I will also add that it's been two months... At this point in any relationship, it is typical to continue with your own life and not spend time together every day. Too early, I'm afraid, to really say that you love each other and to be so dependent on the other person. I would suggest that your anxiety is getting the better of you and I would encourage you to continue to work at getting that under control, because that will only help any relationship you have. I can understand your desire to talk with her, but I wonder if you are actually smothering her with your dependency on her at this very early stage in the relationship. And, of course, if you haven't actually met and spent time together, what you have is an online friendship and you need to keep that in perspective. Take care. 1
Toodaloo Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 Have you actually met? Sorry but I can only see you engaging in on line romances causing more problems with your existing anxiety problems. Time to get real and live a real life. I suspect this girl is thinking the same. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 Sorry you're hurting, OP. After 2 months, you're still getting to know the other person. You can't say whether "she's never been like this" because, well, you don't know her very well after just 60 days. Maybe this is what she is like in relationships. I think it would be best to just call it a day now. Going two days without talking is a sign things aren't working.
gorf Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 been online dating my girlfriend for a little over 2 months now but now it's like I don't see her really in the last week. I agree, clarify. Online dating purely, or did it just start there and you met in person. Makes a big difference
I Just Wanna b Happy Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 I've been online dating my girlfriend for a little over 2 months now. It's been great, with both ups and downs occasionally but overall, the experience has been amazing and she's an amazing person to be with, I know I can trust her Imma stop you right there as you're being illogical. You don't know that you can trust a person you met on the internet. People met significant others, spend years with them and still don't know if they can trust that person. Internet dating is one of the worse platforms to find a solid relationship. The lack of communication is more than likely because your "girlfriend" is getting busy with a guy that is actually in her vicinity. You may be a nice little time killer but what do you really expect from an online "relationship"? You have to be honest with yourself.
Bee4Shine Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 Anxiety can be a part of any relationship. The key is to know the facts about your relationship and when you allow your mind to wander to the "what if's" you can bring yourself back to the facts. A good relationship gives each other the benefit of the doubt with lots of communication in between. Maybe she is busy, maybe life is moving quickly...give her a break and let her live her life and want to communicate with you without worrying.
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