Anyone dated a pinay?

[Denaliviking]

Alright, I met a woman from the Phillipines online. We have been talking for two months. I feel I know her pretty well. We video chat a few times a week. Pics of her, family, etc... I planned a trip to go see her next month. I figured what the hell? I have the vaca time and I really like her. As much as you can like someone you have never actually physically met anyways. I have asked her to be exclusive since I booked the trip. She turned me down. Says we are not there yet? Not at that point and we need to get to know each other better first. Here in the west two months is plenty of time to get to know someone and start dating them as bf and gf. Before I ever asked her to be exclusive she talked about introducing me to her family. She said she will stay with me(in my bed) when I come to see her. I'm getting a hotel. But she won't commit? I don't get it. These are things a woman typically says when she wants to commit. Anyone with experience with pinays have any advice for me? Anything I can do or say to help move this along? I'm not use to these types of responses lol

[ufo8mycat]

Here in the west two months is plenty of time to get to know someone and start dating them as bf and gf.

 

Two months in nothing, even in the west. Why are you pushing her on something she is uncomfortable with.

 

Eight weeks of chatting doesn't mean you know each other really well. Go for a holiday, enjoy getting to know each other. There is no need to move things along so quickly.

 

She might be introducing you to her family as a friend (which is what you are at this point) and on meeting you she might change her mind about sharing a bed (which is okay too).

 

Calm the farm.

 

Enjoy your travels.

[bubbaganoosh]

How in Gods name can you be exclusive when you never met before?

 

Your traveling half way around the world to meet a total stranger and for all you know five minuets after you meet her face to face you'll be hunting for another flight home.

 

Man take your time and get to know someone first. Yakking it up on line doesn't count in my books. She could lie through her teeth and so could you if you want.

[CarrieT]

I've posted this story a number of times...

 

 

Be careful what you wish for....

 

I have a very good friend who did this. He went through the sites and found a Philipino girl. They Skyped for almost a year. He went and visited her to make sure there was a connection and that she was real.

 

He spent a lot of money setting up a household for her and brought her over. They had a lot in common and she was gorgeous. They would play video games and have lots of sex.

 

Then one day, I got the call at 3:00 a.m. because she was holding a knife to her neck and he couldn't get the knife away from her. Seemed he had had to hide all of the knives in the house because she was always threatening herself. We called 911 and had her hospitalized for three days.

 

Turned out her family had set her up on the sites to get her away from them and that she already had a three-old child they were taking care of and hoping the rich, white American would take with the bride. She was barely 20 and he is 35.

 

It took him almost two years to get divorced and they were only married for two months.

 

Just talking to someone online means NOTHING and even spending a weekend with them won't teach you what you need to know. At best, go through all four seasons - yep, a year! - in each other's actual company IN REAL LIFE and not online before committing to each other.

[winny]

Too dangerous. My advice - Dont go.

[CryForNoOne]

Too dangerous. My advice - Dont go.

 

LOL. Why is it dangerous? He's staying at a hotel. I doubt either one will be in any real danger, but from what I've read, I'd be more scared of the OP than her. It's not normal to expect exclusivity with somebody if you've NEVER EVEN MET! If she agreed, I'd be almost certain she's scamming him. As it is, agreeing to stay in the hotel with him is surprising and a bit suspicious. OP, if she really is staying at the hotel with you, that's realistically all you can hope for. If you insist on anything more, you're delusional...

[basil67]

CryForNoOne makes a good point. Her not agreeing to be exclusive before meeting gives her a bit more credibility.

 

OP: it's unreasonable to want someone who's never met you to be exclusive to you.

[Lois_Griffin]

Aren't there a lot of 'girly boys' in the Philippines?

 

You haven't even MET so you have no idea who you're really talking to or who you're going to visit.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, this has nothing to do with her nationality.

 

I am also a western woman, and would not become exclusive with a man I'd never met in person. It wouldn't matter if it were 2 months of 2 years. That is asking a heck of a lot when you don't even know if you'll mesh well in person.

 

She is being wise about this.

[Dirt]

She needs to find out how much money you have before deciding if you're worth committing to. Never trust a woman coming from a poor country. A lot are looking for someone to take care of them and send money back home to their family.

[ChickiePops]

This convo is beginning to take on a bit of a racist tone...

 

This chick sounds like she's handling things perfectly well. It would be insane to commit to being exclusive after talking online to someone who lives halfway around the world for 8 weeks. As they video chat, he knows she's a real person, she just wants to get to know him.

 

OP you're not dating her yet..you have to meet her before that happens. Chill and enjoy your trip. See how it goes.

[DramaInPajamas]

LOL. Why is it dangerous? He's staying at a hotel. I doubt either one will be in any real danger, but from what I've read, I'd be more scared of the OP than her. It's not normal to expect exclusivity with somebody if you've NEVER EVEN MET! If she agreed, I'd be almost certain she's scamming him. As it is, agreeing to stay in the hotel with him is surprising and a bit suspicious. OP, if she really is staying at the hotel with you, that's realistically all you can hope for. If you insist on anything more, you're delusional...

 

Why is it dangerous? Seriously?

 

Do you know anything about the country? I scrubbed it off my travel list for these reasons: too dangerous.

 

https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/philippines/safety-and-security

 

OP has no connection with this woman. He has never met her. No relationship has started yet. Cant you meet someone at home OP?

[William]

Folks, we had some duplicate account issues to resolve so I'll quote a response from the thread starter as a placeholder unless and until they return to request to continue discussing this topic by contacting moderation to open the thread via the alert us button on this post.

 

[]I haven't ever "courted" for more then a couple months with anyone I have dated in the past. Not asking her to marry me. I hate saying it this way, but I'm just asking her to be my girlfriend. I don't see the problem with that. I have no expectations on what will happen when I go there. The reason I said she'll sleep in my bed is because "friends" don't typically do or say that. Although a gf would. Maybe I'm completely off base here but it's the way I see it.