CasualDude10 Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 So I am 21 years old. I have never had a serious relationship. I am able to get #'s from girls, go on dates, etc. But I am never able to one around long enough before they lose interest. Recently, a girl just cut me off completely and I have no idea why. I met her back in March on SpringBreak (not a party spring break) in Florida. We hit it off and had a good time. Never got her number. Then, I ran into her at a festival and we hungout the entire weekend together, (even slept together but didn't hook up besides kiss, and while we were walking around the festival she was grabbing my hand, resting her head on my shoulder). After this I got her number and asked her out on a date and she basically said "shes busy" but continued to blow up my phone the next two weeks. I would wakeup to like 2-3 snapchats from her, a text message, and she showed high levels of attraction. She would be contacting me first. We even facetimed multiple times. Then two days ago, she just stopped talking to me. I tried contacting her and she was very short, with the last message from me saying "hey im not going to blow up your phone and force convo because thats annoying, feel free to contact me if you want to talk" she replied 3hrs later saying "sorry, i was rushing to get ready, didnt mean to annoy you... but will do" and i said "youre fine, have a good night." I haven't talked to her today, I just do not get how she went from coming on hard to me, to cutting me off in a blink of an eye. So basically, what are your thoughts on this situation? Is there an art of attracting women and keeping them interested because it seems like every single girl the past two years shows high interest, some even go out on dates, and then just cut me off. What are your thoughts on texting? I have tried keeping it to only setting up dates, only talking on the phone, and basically every different method that I have read people say.
smackie9 Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 Ya it's called confidence. You need to let them know in a teasing way you desire them and want to bang them....and do your best to get them into bed as quickly as possible....no fussing around with stupid 6 hour conversations. Plus don't ever be too available to them. Make them sweat it out by not responding right away. 3
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 So I am 21 years old. I have never had a serious relationship. I am able to get #'s from girls, go on dates, etc. But I am never able to one around long enough before they lose interest. Recently, a girl just cut me off completely and I have no idea why. I met her back in March on SpringBreak (not a party spring break) in Florida. We hit it off and had a good time. Never got her number. Then, I ran into her at a festival and we hungout the entire weekend together, (even slept together but didn't hook up besides kiss, and while we were walking around the festival she was grabbing my hand, resting her head on my shoulder). After this I got her number and asked her out on a date and she basically said "shes busy" but continued to blow up my phone the next two weeks. I would wakeup to like 2-3 snapchats from her, a text message, and she showed high levels of attraction. She would be contacting me first. We even facetimed multiple times. Then two days ago, she just stopped talking to me. I tried contacting her and she was very short, with the last message from me saying "hey im not going to blow up your phone and force convo because thats annoying, feel free to contact me if you want to talk" she replied 3hrs later saying "sorry, i was rushing to get ready, didnt mean to annoy you... but will do" and i said "youre fine, have a good night." I haven't talked to her today, I just do not get how she went from coming on hard to me, to cutting me off in a blink of an eye. So basically, what are your thoughts on this situation? Is there an art of attracting women and keeping them interested because it seems like every single girl the past two years shows high interest, some even go out on dates, and then just cut me off. What are your thoughts on texting? I have tried keeping it to only setting up dates, only talking on the phone, and basically every different method that I have read people say. never had a serious relationship, so what type of relationships have you had?
joseb Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 (edited) Ya it's called confidence. You need to let them know in a teasing way you desire them and want to bang them....and do your best to get them into bed as quickly as possible....no fussing around with stupid 6 hour conversations. Plus don't ever be too available to them. Make them sweat it out by not responding right away. I know you jest. But this is pretty much the modus operandi of my work colleague. He seems to be a lot lot "busier" than me most evenings, while I'm wasting time on long conversations that don't really go anywhere... Edited August 1, 2016 by joseb 1
CryForNoOne Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 So I am 21 years old. I have never had a serious relationship. I am able to get #'s from girls, go on dates, etc. But I am never able to one around long enough before they lose interest. Is there an art of attracting women and keeping them interested because it seems like every single girl the past two years shows high interest, some even go out on dates, and then just cut me off. Approaching a girl / getting a number is a totally different skill set than dating / keeping her interested. All I can say is keep working at it and I'm almost certain your luck will improve. My 10-20 first dates ever, I had a very difficult time ever getting a second date. Nowadays, 100+ first dates in, I almost always get a second date. Being confident but also being yourself is so much more attractive to a woman than trying to impress them. They are uncanny at sensing the difference. I'm guessing this is where you are struggling. Recently, a girl just cut me off completely and I have no idea why. I met her back in March on SpringBreak (not a party spring break) in Florida. We hit it off and had a good time. Never got her number. Then, I ran into her at a festival and we hungout the entire weekend together, (even slept together but didn't hook up besides kiss, and while we were walking around the festival she was grabbing my hand, resting her head on my shoulder). After this I got her number and asked her out on a date and she basically said "shes busy" but continued to blow up my phone the next two weeks. I would wakeup to like 2-3 snapchats from her, a text message, and she showed high levels of attraction. She would be contacting me first. We even facetimed multiple times. Then two days ago, she just stopped talking to me. I tried contacting her and she was very short, with the last message from me saying "hey im not going to blow up your phone and force convo because thats annoying, feel free to contact me if you want to talk" she replied 3hrs later saying "sorry, i was rushing to get ready, didnt mean to annoy you... but will do" and i said "youre fine, have a good night." I haven't talked to her today, I just do not get how she went from coming on hard to me, to cutting me off in a blink of an eye. So basically, what are your thoughts on this situation? Sounds like she was interested but met someone else or lost interest. It happens. You may have been to passive or it might never have happened anyway. What are your thoughts on texting? I have tried keeping it to only setting up dates, only talking on the phone, and basically every different method that I have read people say. Text only to setup dates. A little banter is fine. DO NOT become penpals that a recipe for getting FZ'd or building expectations way too high. A little bit of mystery always keeps the flame going early on. Talking on the phone is always better than texting. So few guys these days have the nerve to call a girl they barely know. In my early 20's, it was the only option... 3
ZA Dater Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 There probably is a subconscious art to it somewhere, the guys I knew who seem to be able to pick and choose all have a certain degree of charm to them, a ability to be interested without looking interested. The fact you get numbers tells me you are attractive to ladies, huge plus point, some us are not so you already have a big advantage. 1
elaine567 Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 Ok, so she is blowing up your phone, but what are you doing? If you are not showing interest or you have nothing interesting to say, then she is going to get bored of that. 1
leogirl876 Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 Definitely don't be pen pals and don't beat around the bush on asking her out. It drives me crazy when men still today do that. This one guy I met on OLD who's 45 did that. Would call to talk to me, text me, and all that but wasn't getting to the point of asking me out, so the last time he called, I didn't call him back. Girl's that are interested in dating, don't want a phone buddy or pen pal. 1
Author CasualDude10 Posted August 1, 2016 Author Posted August 1, 2016 Ok, so she is blowing up your phone, but what are you doing? If you are not showing interest or you have nothing interesting to say, then she is going to get bored of that. Im responding back to her and talking to her. She knows I showed interest because I asked her out on a date. She said she was busy but in a playful manner.
Author CasualDude10 Posted August 1, 2016 Author Posted August 1, 2016 never had a serious relationship, so what type of relationships have you had? one girl was just for hooking up, couple others were we would go on dates, talk alot, and then just lose interest
Author CasualDude10 Posted August 1, 2016 Author Posted August 1, 2016 Definitely don't be pen pals and don't beat around the bush on asking her out. It drives me crazy when men still today do that. This one guy I met on OLD who's 45 did that. Would call to talk to me, text me, and all that but wasn't getting to the point of asking me out, so the last time he called, I didn't call him back. Girl's that are interested in dating, don't want a phone buddy or pen pal. I didnt beat around the bush on asking her out, in fact I asked her right after the festival i ran into her at and i asked her a week later. she never said yes but continued to call my phone, text, sc, etc.
Dork Vader Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 I partially agree eith smackie. But do not agree with the games aspect of it. 1. Confidence is key. Women want a man who can lead, take charge, get stuff done, and in general is not going to be a whimp. In their mind it shows strength, and gives a sense of security. Which is what women want in a partner. 2. "Girls just want to have fun" that is the absolute truth. If they are having fun, they are enjoying their time with you. Thus they will desire more of it. 3. Laughing, make them laugh. 4. Physical contact is vital. You don't want too over do it. But you must have SOME physical contact other wise you'll get friend zoned. 5. You should be the one leading conversations, planning dates and so on. If she is constantly initiating they are going to think your interest level is low. Be the leader and the women will follow.
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I partially agree eith smackie. But do not agree with the games aspect of it. 1. Confidence is key. Women want a man who can lead, take charge, get stuff done, and in general is not going to be a whimp. In their mind it shows strength, and gives a sense of security. Which is what women want in a partner. 2. "Girls just want to have fun" that is the absolute truth. If they are having fun, they are enjoying their time with you. Thus they will desire more of it. 3. Laughing, make them laugh. 4. Physical contact is vital. You don't want too over do it. But you must have SOME physical contact other wise you'll get friend zoned. 5. You should be the one leading conversations, planning dates and so on. If she is constantly initiating they are going to think your interest level is low. Be the leader and the women will follow. What does it mean to lead the conversation?
elaine567 Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 You introduce topics that you want to talk about and topics that show you up in a good light and topics that do not end up with awkward silences or worse still offense. You steer the conversation so that it doesn't get dull and boring. You could be the most interesting guy in the world, but if the topics you end up discussing are dull and boring then that is how she will see you. You may not need to do much if she is talkative and brings up her own topics but you need to be aware of how you are coming across and how she is reacting. If a topic is going nowhere then introduce another, ask a question, tell a funny story... there is no need to fill every minute with blah blah blah, but you need to be able to keep it going in an interesting way, especially if she seems shy or nervous. What is exciting to you may be turning her off. If she is not enraptured by that exciting white water rafting experience you had, then you need to shut up about it and introduce some other topic of conversation. People like people who are easy to be around, so forget about rants and do not get into arguments over hot and controversial subjects. Stay off subjects you know nothing about, or just admit you know nothing about them, nothing worse than a guy spouting off utter nonsense to try and impress. She needs to know you are interested in her and her alone, if you are staring at the floor, eyeing up the waitresses, or looking around aimlessly with little to say and she is holding up the conversation on her own mostly, she is not going to want to go on another date, is she? YOU need to play it by ear too, there is no formula, what had one girl eating out of your hand, may have another rolling her eyes and looking for the bill. You need to be flexible and adaptable to each situation, if you are going to be successful.
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