soule Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 My ex and I had been dating for about a year and a half. Although we dealt with some very intrusive periods with her ex, and the fact the she lived at home with her son and her parents we enjoyed what limited time we had together. It seemed that her parents really liked me and I was invite to all of the family functions. I always tried to be romantic as possible when we had dates and she would text me everyday very loving messages. She did have an issue with jealousy which she said stemmed from being cheated on before, but I never gave her any reason to suspect me of cheating. In fact I thought we had a very honest relationship where we could tell each other anything. About 2 months before we broke up she took this job that her father lined up for her. It was a full time job doing data entry and it seemed like she hated it. But, she thought she needed to keep it to be responsible. About the second month she had the job she became very moody, but she said she was sick. It seemed she was sick for over a month. Then she started to withdraw from me, telling me she was in a dark place. I of course tried to be there for her, but she made it very difficult by shutting me out sometimes. We would have sex but she would not kiss me because she said she was sick. I finally started to get fed up with her blowing me off so I wrote her an email. Then I visited her Fb page where I saw she was listed as single. Then I noticed she had a new guy friend on FB. She claimed to almost never be on FB, which is why she never changed her relationship status. But, she friended this guy 2 days after meeting him with some friends. I became jealous and put 2 and 2 together and called her up. I just kind of laid into her about who was this guy, now i know why you have been blowing me off, etc. She hung up on me and then sent me this email telling me she needed space, that this relationship was not fair to me because she did not have any time, that she could not handle her jealousy over me, that I never sent her nice text msgs in the mornings like she wanted( which I did do on occasion, but not as much as she did, and a couple other reasons. Anyway, I assumed she did it because of this guy, and I just kind of lost it for a bit. A week later she agreed to meet with me because she felt bad about the email. She was in tears the whole time, said she still loved me very much, but wanted to focus on her son and be alone. Needless to say, I have been confused ever since. She through so many reasons up at me, I do not know what the real reason is and whenever I would ask her something she would just ignore it. I cannot imagine why she would just want to be alone. She said she was not seeing anyone else, that she just was in a dark place. I do not understand how getting rid of me would make anything easier for her, so I just kept wondering what the real reason was. I ought to have stopped contact with her, but I wanted to give her the chance to change her mind which she never did. I really do love her even though the relationship was not perfect, she never gave me the opportunity to make better whatever was wrong. She just sort of blindsided me and left me heartbroken and alone. Now i cannot stop thinking about all the inconsistencies in her reasons and i believe she has been lying to me. What do you think?
Poutrew Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 Sounds to me that she met up with this new man and wanted to try him out, so she demoted you to secondary status while she was spinning her wheels with the new guy. A big clue is when she hung up on you instead of adamantly denying that she was seeing the other guy romantically. So, in this case, the dark place she is referring to is his bedroom when he closes the lights in order to have sex with her in the dark... The fact that she is back with you probably means the other guy didn't work out for whatever reason. So, do you really want to be her back up plan? Because it will happen again, and again, and... you get my point? It's not a fun life unless you want to be a beta cuckold... Question now, is what are you going to do about it?
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