SammieE Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Okay, so this man and I have been talking for less than a week.we met on POF. Never met in person He is in the military and currently deployed. Gets home in October. He is really sweet, I am super interested in seeing where this could progress. But what I find weird is that he is already calling me "his girl", his babe, he wants me type things. Telling me that I should pick him. Talking about the future and everything. I do believe in Love at first site, happened with my parents, Married 3 months later and just celebrated 34 years... But is the way he talking too soon? Should I be worried
ExpatInItaly Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Okay, so this man and I have been talking for less than a week.we met on POF. Never met in person He is in the military and currently deployed. Gets home in October. He is really sweet, I am super interested in seeing where this could progress. But what I find weird is that he is already calling me "his girl", his babe, he wants me type things. Telling me that I should pick him. Talking about the future and everything. I do believe in Love at first site, happened with my parents, Married 3 months later and just celebrated 34 years... But is the way he talking too soon? Should I be worried Yes, you should be worried. Some strange dude on the internet is trying to claim his territory and lock you down before you've even met. Surely you don't really need to be told that this is creepy as h*ll? 3
Author SammieE Posted July 31, 2016 Author Posted July 31, 2016 Ya, it is weird. How can I kindly tell him not to say those things?
Bialy Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Ya, it is weird. How can I kindly tell him not to say those things? Not sure. Maybe something as simple as laughing it off when he calls you "my girl" --- you can respond by saying, "c'mon... We don't know each other that well for you to call me that. Seriously." Or, "Let's wait until we actually meet before you call me your girl or babe. Meeting in person is the best way to know if we mesh well." Keep him grounded and in reality. I think he wants to be guaranteed a girlfriend by the time he returns in October. If you were to meet in Oct, and he didn't feel a connection in person, he can be the type of man who completely acts distant towards you and/or disappears -- even after saying all of these affirmations to you. 1
Author SammieE Posted July 31, 2016 Author Posted July 31, 2016 I have been telling him that we will know the minute we see each other if it is real or not. But he won't stop. Lol
ExpatInItaly Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 I have been telling him that we will know the minute we see each other if it is real or not. But he won't stop. Lol If you've already told him, and he won't stop, it's a red flag. He's ignoring your boundary. Sorry, but there's something off about this guy. 4
heartfeltlove Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Then be blunt. Tell him he is being too intense. If he carries on this way, you will have to pull back and withdraw, and cease contact. You cannot expose yourself to such premature intensity. it leads to manipulation and control. I get 'love at first sight'. This isn't it. He is professing love and he doesn't even know you, and hasn't even seen you. This isn't 'love at first sight'. This is creepy. You need to take control of what you are allowing to happen. No 'Lol' about it. 3
CryForNoOne Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Using affectations like that before even meeting is generally not a good sign unless it is done jokingly, but that doesn't sound like the case. It's almost always an indicator that someone is lonely, desperate, creepy, obsessive or all of the above. You really need to ask yourself what type of person would invest so much emotional energy into someone they have never met. As you said, you'll find out within minutes of meeting. That is a much healthier attitude. Good luck but this is definitely a red flag. Esp. if he doesn't back off with this stuff after you politely ask him to stop... 1
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Scary. I would block him. Way too soon to be making those statements. You haven't even met this guy! Something is not good here. I wouldn't waste anger moment in this one. 1
leogirl876 Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Yes very weird and creepy. You already know this, otherwise you wouldn't be asking all of us, but if you're like me and sometimes doubt what your gut is telling you, then let us reinforce that's creepy. I'd cut off contact with him. For all you know, this could be a catfish, him being deployed and all that could be a scam. Who knows, he could start asking you for money and because after all, you are "his girl" so why wouldn't you send him money because "you love him". Lose the creep!!! 1
Lois_Griffin Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 I smell a catfish. Don't be surprised when you get a message from this 'soldier'' that he's stuck in Afghanistan due to a bogus arrest by some low grade terrorists and he needs $500 wired to him to get out of jail and to come home to your loving arms. 2
winny Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Girl, I just wanna tell you that I had very similar experience. Guy posing as in military n trying to be too serious too soon. Was trying to catfish me. All the love fizzled out when I asked him to Skype with me. Ask him proof .... Deployed in army is a common tactic being used by married men to talk to gals online without having to meet them.
thecrucible Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 I agree that it could be a scammer. If not a scammer then don't ssume that his being this keen is actually kind of cute. Firstly he's stepping over your boundaries by not responding to your attempts to slow the pace. Secondly, these kind of guys can turn into the controlling type in relationships. Be careful.
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