LittleMiss Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 My sister's friend came to talk to me the other day. She is so sweet and I love her. She came to me because she was upset. She is seventeen, but very mature and independent. She has had a hard life and has had to fend for herself a lot. Her mother is a drug addict and she lives with her grandma who is old and sick. She works to support herself. Anyway, she told me that she is pregnant. She and her boyfriend made the mistake of having unprotected sex. She said she told her mom and grandma and they told her that she was going to have to have an abortion. She told them she didn't want to. Her mom told her it didn't matter what she wants because she is not eighteen yet and they can make her. I didn't know what to tell her. She asked what she should do. I feel bad for her and can sympathize with her. I too got pregnant young (20) and my sister just had her baby and she is 17. She knows it will be hard to have the child, but she can't have an abortion. She feels awful and I don't know how to help her. Can her mom actually make her have an abortion against her will?
tiki Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 I don't think so. I'm curious to see what other's say though.
JPMorgan Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Is there a help line or legal center there that you can call for free advice? I wouldn't think they could force her to have an abortion at 17. Maybe a teen hot-line will have a phone number for a free legal clinic or even call an abortion clinic -- they may know the laws there and can advise you.
moimeme Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 I seriously doubt that anybody can force an elective surgical procedure on anyone else.
tiki Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Yeah I think they're just trying to scare her. Have her contact a pregnancy crisis hotline.
quankanne Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 have her look into the Gabriel Project website to find out who the contact is in her state ~ these folks base their ministry on cases like hers, where a woman finds herself in a surprise pregnancy and they support her in whatever way she needs.
Author LittleMiss Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 Thanks for the replies. I made a call to Planned Parenthood. The woman who answered told me that before a doctor does an abortion he will consult with her alone. Her mom will not be in the room. She said that if at that time she tells the doctor that she does not want an abortion then he will not do one. She said no doctor will perform an abortion without the woman's consent regardless of her age. The only way her mom would be able to make her go through with it is if she takes her to court and has a judge declare that she is mentally unable to make that decision for herself. I don't think her mom will go that far.
centered Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Try a Google of "emancipation" and "age of majority." The age at which one is considered no longer a minor varies from state to state and is generally only a guideline when tested in court. If this young woman is supporting herself, and is planning on keeping her baby, it is likely she would be declared by most courts "legally an adult" and granted full adult status. Likewise, when under-age women get married, most states *automatically* grant them "age of majority" and full adult status. These laws govering minors are old and often handled on a case-by-case basis since it is difficult for courts to set a fixed age for maturity and responsibility.
ratzxvital Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 The emancipation is a good idea. I can't believe how violating that is, someone trying to make you do anything like that.
brashgal Posted July 2, 2005 Posted July 2, 2005 Here in Texas you are considered an adult at 17 - unless they had her declared mentally incompetent, I can't imagine they could terminate her pregnancy. More likely is they'll kick her out and turn their back on her. I hope she has someplace to go. I think Quank's suggestion is a good one.
CherryPie745H Posted September 26, 2005 Posted September 26, 2005 All of you, it was alot of help because I am 14 and in the same situation. There should always be a choice. Lots of love to all young mothers.. Hilary
LiLuGirL Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 I don't think this is any worse than coercing a child have a baby instead of supporting the choice of abortion. Some people say it's teaching a lesson, but you can teach a lesson without making a baby part of someone's "punishment" for being irresponsible. That is wrong, for both the girl and the child who is made someone's "burden" to teach her to think a little more next time.
gigilani Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 Having a abortion is a serious decision, one that shouldn't be granted on a child, as you are terminating the life inside of you. If grown women have trouble handling the emotional aftermath of having an abortion, what do you think it will do to a child? I have a cousin who was underage at the time her father took her to a clinic to have an abortion, it effected her emotionally & years later she is still reeling from the after effects. If you have sex & get pregnant, than that is a consequence of the sexual act. For a child an abortion should not be a "quick fix" to resolving the situation they put themselves in, as they cannot emotionally handle it. It's very evident that the mother is more worried about the "black mark" that her daughter's pregnancy will bring to their social circle, than about her daughter's well being or mental health. If the mother does not want to be responsible for assisting w/her grandchild, then adoption is their answer
Toni_no12002 Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 She cant force her to have an abortion.Its her decision not her mums.Here in the uk it is legal to have sex at 16 so if you get pregnant its totally your own choice what you do.You could tell her to go to her doctor and ask for advice.You should tell her to tell her mum to support her whatever she decides.Its not her mums decision at all.She probably thinks that she protecting her.But only your sisters friend can decide.Even though she cant force her to get the baby aborted she can use emotional blackmail.So you have to support her and stick to your grounds.Her mum has to realise she cant tell her what to do forever!
sami Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 That's not easy on a pregnant young lady. I feel sorry for her but her mom cannot do anything other than keep the pressure.
Toni_no12002 Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 Its only for her daughter to decide though.I am on the daughters side about this that it is her decison and nobody elses but if she old enough to have sex she should be old enough to accept the consequences.I was 19 when i found out i was pregnant.It was a shock but i dont like the idea of abortion unless in extreme circumstances.My mum was shocked at first but when she got used to the idea she was excited.When i had my son it was hard.Id never been around babies before so didnt have a clue what to do.But i wouldnt chang it for the world now.If she did choose to keep the baby im sure that her mum wouldnt be upset for long as it is part of her in that baby too and its unfair on the baby to quarrel over would should and shouldnt of happened.Its happened so her mum will have to deal with it. I did and im so glad i kept him he means the world to me.My mum loves him to bits.Its probably just the shock.If she wants to keep the baby tell her to tll her mum she is and she will have to get used to it.She will be a nanna!She should be suporting her on whatever decision she makes!
RecordProducer Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 Can her mom actually make her have an abortion against her will? No. Think about it. If she wouldn't report she is pregnant, what would happen? Nobody can force anyone to have an abortion according to the law. Moreover, she would need her mother's consent to HAVE it under certain age (16 or 18), which is stupid in my opinion, but it's good that nobody can force you to have it.
Toni_no12002 Posted October 2, 2005 Posted October 2, 2005 I can understand why there are certain laws about when you can legally have sex but why even bother who takes any notice?Fair enough you have to have your mothers consent but being a mother herself and seeing her child how is it right to take away a child from her mother.After all only the girl is the mother of the child.I think it should be her choice.She isnt too young ive known loads of people have kids at that age and they are wondeful mothers!
hillman Posted October 3, 2005 Posted October 3, 2005 NO they can't make her get an abortion I agree - certainly in the UK an abortion can't be forced on anyone. In fact, here if a pregnant girl of any age goes to the doctor to seek an abortion he cannot tell the parents. Not sure of the rules in america, but I find it very unlikely that this would happen. Assuming that 16 is over the age of consent for sex in the USA, I am pretty sure that the mother cannot force an abortion. Does she have a close friend who she can stay with until it the baby is born?
cherrie498 Posted October 4, 2005 Posted October 4, 2005 In the US & no NOONE can be forced to have an abortion, the doctors are required to tell the legal guardian of anyone under the consequential age that the minor is in fact pregnant but to enforce an abortion NO! this is a choice regardless of the age!!!
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