Lost

[Tgibb]

Me and my ex(I hate calling him ex because it has a negative stigma) but we broke up almost two weeks ago. We were perfect together, except for I have troublesome mood swings. It was making him unhappy. I found out I am bipolar, only mildly, it's not bad at all. But now that I know I am, it's much much easier to control my mood swings. The problem is, I love him to death. I'm actual supportive of us breaking up because it helped me discover my problems. I'm heart broken because I hurt him. He loved me to death. But the problem is, he doesn't want to talk to me for awhile. He wants to get over me. Im so lost because our issues could have been solved. We were really good together and he loved me a lot. I have no idea what to do. I've been giving him space and not talking to him. I don't want him to forget about me, I don't want him to get over me. Because our issues were so minor and fixable. We really did have a future together but my actions made him think other wise. He's the love of my life. He was my best friend and my soulmate. How do I get him back, I know it can be months, I am very willing to wait. I asked to talk to him in person a few days ago and he immediately complied and we went out to dinner and it was all smiles and stuff, I apologized for me making him sad. We both cried a little. He held me for a few minutes and then I could tell he thought to himself for a bit. He told me he misses me also. But then all of assuden he said he thought it was a mistake seeing other because it was just going to make it harder for the both of us and then he quickly left. He loves me a lot, I know he does, I wish there was a way to let him know we could work things out in the future. I don't want to deceive him or convince him of something he doesn't want to do. I feel like the only advice people in his life have been giving him is to just forget about me. I don't know. Please, any advice, I need it. Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.

[ExpatInItaly]

It's great that you've gotten a diagnosis, OP. At least now you have something concrete that can help you get to a better emotional place.

 

Two weeks simply isn't long enough for your ex to believe there have been sustainable changes. You say your issues were minor and solvable, but he apparently didn't agree. He ended the relationship because he feels they weren't minor and evidently had already done a lot of damage. That is not to say it's all your fault; it takes two to make things work, of course. He's just decided that he didn't want to try to work on it.

 

He won't forget you. Human memory doesn't work that way. But you have to keep in mind that he was already checked out enough to want to break up. That doesn't mean that he doesn't care or that he's over you completely, but he's already further along in his detachment process than you are.

 

For the time being, give him the space he's requested and focus on yourself. You've got enough on your plate dealing with this new diagnosis and charting a healthier path for yourself. Go No Contact with him and let yourself detach. It will hurt and it will take time. You both need space from each other. He might just reach out to you again once some time has passed, but I agree when he says it's not good to continue to see each other. The past hurts in the relationship are still too fresh and he will need time to reset too.