Worried about bringing girlfriend home to meet the parents?

[Carey34]

I just recently got out of a very serious relationship. It lasted almost 5 years. I always said from the very beginning that my parents loved her more than they loved me. Very classy lady. However, it wasn't meant to be.

 

We started arguing a lot, I lost my feelings for her, and I developed feelings for someone else. I cheated, immediately told her, and we went our separate ways. After we broke up, I started a relationship with my current girlfriend almost immediately. We just really hit it off. It's been 3 months now.

 

The parent dilemma:

 

She is a free-spirit, and she has the same humor as me. Nothing about her personality worries me.

 

She is covered in tattoos and she is only 23 years old. I'm 31. Something my parents are very much against. I know they will be happy for me no matter what, but I'm worried about getting backlash from it.

 

I'm also worried about my parents saying... "It's way too soon. It's way too soon."

 

I just want this experience to be wonderful because I really see a future with this girl. We have SO much in common.

 

Honest answers. Do you think it's superficial for my parents to even care that she has tattoos?

[bubbaganoosh]

First of all, it's only three months so you have some ways to go before you really know her. My advice is to take it slow.

 

By the way your parents are right. Way too soon and as far as the tats go. your the one that has to look at them not your parents.

[Zapbasket]

Is there some reason you can't hold off a bit on introducing this girl to your family? It's great that you've met someone with whom you really click so soon after your breakup, but just because the relationship has taken off doesn't mean other aspects can't proceed in a more measured way.

 

Your parents will always have your back and be glad for your happiness. But bringing every girl to meet them after a while takes away the sacredness of the meeting. If this girl is really the right one for you, then a meeting with your parents can wait a few more months. Waiting will be good for all of you--to separate this girl from the previous one so that she can be appreciated for what SHE brings to the table.

[anika99]

Wow! You could be my son..lol. I say that because my son just went through something very similar and I'm not too thrilled about it either. He is 29 and had spent the last 5 yrs with a woman 5 yrs older than him. They lived together and for a time they were planning to get married. I was very fond of her and her family and after 5yrs I considered her a part of my family.

 

Just after Xmas he contacted me and told me had moved out and was staying at a friends house and furthermore the breakup was his idea. I was shocked. I thought they were happy and he rarely spoke of problems in his relationship. Now he was telling me that he hadn't been happy for over a year and that they had tried to work on things but it wasn't getting better. I was very upset and I cried but I told him I love him and I wanted him to be happy.

 

Because I know people who know people, shortly after he told me of the breakup I heard rumours about a new girl he was seeing. This was disturbing news to me and I questioned him about it. He and I don't see eye to eye on this. He insists that he never cheated on his ex and that this new girl had nothing to do with his decision to end his relationship. I disagree. While it may be true that nothing physical happened between them before the breakup, they work together and I believe that his attraction to her had a lot to do with the end of his relationship. I don't agree with leaving one person for another or jumping into a new relationship right after ending a relationship. It is too soon.Meanwhile his ex had contacted me a couple of times and she was heartbroken and I was heartbroken for her. I kept telling her that she was going to be okay and gently directing her to lean on her family because they loved her and would give her the support she needed. After speaking with her I was always in tears.

 

Now my son's new gf is also only 23yrs old. I have met her and she was nice enough but I wouldn't call her mature and from what I have seen she likes to party a lot and drinks a fair bit. I'm not judging her for that. She is young and she should be having fun, but i don't understand my son or what he is thinking. I think he has made a mistake. He also sees this girl as his future but from what I have observed I don't see this relationship lasting. I have not said this to him because when you get right down to it his love life is none of my business and he will learn from his decisions just as I had to learn from mine. So even though my personal opinion is that he's making a mistake he is allowed to make mistakes. I'm going to love him and support him regardless of who he chooses as a partner. If he loves this girl then I'm going to accept her and treat her with respect and kindness.

 

That being said, when he first told me about her I let him know I wasn't ready to meet her and he respected that and let me meet her when I was ready. That took several months and then I agreed to meet her in a group setting so that it didn't feel forced or weird. Greencove gave you some good advice. Don't rush your parents. They want you to be happy but that doesn't mean they are going to feel warm fuzzies for every girl you feel warm fuzzies for. I know my son wants me to feel the same affection for his new gf as I had for his exgf but that's not realistic and it ain't going to happen in the near future. Slow down.

[basil67]

Carey, you've switched genders since your previous posts.

 

You used to be a girl upset about losing your boyfriend. Now you're a guy worried about introducing a girl to your parents.

 

What's going on?

[Dis]

Carey, you've switched genders since your previous posts.

 

You used to be a girl upset about losing your boyfriend. Now you're a guy worried about introducing a girl to your parents.

 

What's going on?

 

You're right basil. Well this is strange...???

[anika99]

Carey, you've switched genders since your previous posts.

 

You used to be a girl upset about losing your boyfriend. Now you're a guy worried about introducing a girl to your parents.

 

What's going on?

 

Geez...sucks that I wasted my time posting my long heartfelt reply to someone who is playing games here.

[Cherryz]

You are a grown man you make your own decisions.

And parents gonna be parents always. They will voice their opinion and concern.

Be glad for that. But its up to you what you do.

Its to soon to speak like you are doing about this girl, because you barely know the her.

And you are in the honeymoon period. So things are just amazing now.

 

I dont know how your family is. But since its that early and you want to let her meet them, maybe its better to meet at a restaurant in the open air. Somewhere where you can have a drink and some "junk" food.

 

That seem less pressure etc. then go to parents home to meet them.

Often that is what you do when its a serious gf of a while,and up to marriage material.

Not someone you just met.

 

*And its good to take time being single, to heal from a breakup before you get with someone else. It also show some kind of respect towards the feelings of the person )ex)you have been with.

[ExpatInItaly]

Carey, you've switched genders since your previous posts.

 

You used to be a girl upset about losing your boyfriend. Now you're a guy worried about introducing a girl to your parents.

 

What's going on?

 

This?

 

Thanks for catching this basil, before I wrote out a reply to OP.

 

OP: are you posing as your ex-boyfriend (who cheated and left for her, based on your last post) to see if we will agree that his new relationship won't work out?

Edited July 31, 2016 by ExpatInItaly

[CryForNoOne]

Carey, you've switched genders since your previous posts.

 

You used to be a girl upset about losing your boyfriend. Now you're a guy worried about introducing a girl to your parents.

 

What's going on?

 

This is why I wouldn't waste more than 5 minutes of my time on anyone I meet online and I continually advise others to do the same...

[Gaeta]

Good Job Basil67 !

 

I think Carey wants to hear that her ex-boyfriend will hit a wall with his parents when he introduces his new girlfriend.

[ChickiePops]

This?

 

Thanks for catching this basil, before I wrote out a reply to OP.

 

OP: are you posing as your ex-boyfriend (who cheated and left for her, based on your last post) to see if we will agree that his new relationship won't work out?

 

I think this is exactly what's happening. OP also has a history of abandoning her threads so we may never get an admission.

 

Carey I know being cheated on and dumped hurts like hell but you've GOT to get over him.