tynoe93 Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 I dont knw if shes stil my girlfriend or now my ex, Just a week ago we were so happy and this week she's hasn't been feelin well. I had been calling her from Monday till Wednesday then stopped wasn't calling because was short on cash because it's month end but sheld update me on whatsapp. I would try make a conversation and she wouldn't reply next dae same thing updated me then no reply and yestrdae she apped me and told me she's in Private Hospital and I took the last money I had and tried calling but she wouldnot pickup my calls Gave me attitude she told me I haven't cared for her for the last 3days and I explained my situation and also her not replying me and she never replied back and today noticed she blocked me. I Do not know what to think or do and my mind keeps telling me its over and it's a long distance relationship which makes it even harder
preraph Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Why haven't you gone to where she's at to see if you can be of some help? If you are too broke, then tell her.
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 We need details...ages, how far apart you live, have you ever met, how long have you been talking with each other, have you ever dated anyone irl before?
Author tynoe93 Posted July 31, 2016 Author Posted July 31, 2016 thank you for your replies I told her about being broke and she never replied thats when the blocking happened after a day she is 29 and I am 23.we have been going out for 5 months now.Yes I have dated someone before my last relationship lasted 5years and her last relationship lasted about 7 years but was heart broken when the guy left her when she got pregnant with with a beautiful daughter. But she unblocked me earlier in the afternoon but another problem situation arose I'm still traumatised. She wrote me a long message saying she was going to take her own life commit suicide. Said she had heard enough of feeling unloved by her own family,her mom even didn't want her she wanted to abort and she now making her wish come true. even her sickness won't go away it's been a month and she's tired. I spent nearly 2 hours trying to talk to her over the phone that's all I could do went through her Facebook email trying to find contacts of of people close to her but no luck kept thinking of her 4year old daughter I love so much then she sent me a picture of pills she was about to drink i broke down and she was crying told me goodbye ended the call.her phone would just ring after 30min of trying her sister finally told me they got home in time and took her pills away and she was sleeping. How do or can I help this woman I love with my all.Been thinking of goin to visit her just be there for her. How Do I Help? What Can I Do
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 I'm so sorry that this has happened, it must be very upsetting for you. But, this woman has bigger issues than you can deal with/help her. And, they are her issues to sort. Hopefully, she can get some counselling and get the assistance she needs. I don't think this speaks well of a long term relationship. Until she gets her life together, I would be very cautious. 2
preraph Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Call the police and send them to her place. My version of this is that she's sick and is likely on medications -- and some medications can cause psychological effects such as depression or feelings of suicide. You don't even know how to reach her parents or her doctor, so if you don't call police, you are dropping the ball. They need to go to her home and check on her and the child. People who kill themselves often take their children with them. Don't sit on your hands! I see her sibling came home in time, but she will likely do this again. When she does, call the police. Her family is obviously a source of her misery, so get this out into a public servant's objective hands and let them decide what to do. 2
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 (edited) Stop being the "shining knight". Her issues is her family's responsibility not yours. I suspect you never have met, that this is just an internet thing so this relationship is only based on phone calls and messaging. You have no financial resources to even be with her. You are only 23 years old, you have your whole life ahead of you. . I know you don't want to hear this but, this is way to heavy for someone like you to be involved with, nor do you have the life experience to know what to do. There are better things in life for you, than being in a co-dependent relationship with someone so mentally unhealthy. You should be dating girls, out dancing, partying, hanging out with your buddies, meeting up with girls, living life to the fullest. Edited July 31, 2016 by smackie9 2
preraph Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Unless he's lying, he did say they've been "going out" for 5 months.
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 I suspect too that it's a long distance, don't see each other often due to a lack of financial resources situation too... So many reasons why this will not work. Your age, your lack of resources, the distance, and her mental health/complications in her life. And yes, if she is still in danger you need to call the police. If the moment has passed, I think you need to consider moving on. Be kind to her, but she has much bigger things she needs to deal with in her life - a relationship doesn't even make the short list for her right now... 1
Author tynoe93 Posted July 31, 2016 Author Posted July 31, 2016 I'm so sorry that this has happened, it must be very upsetting for you. But, this woman has bigger issues than you can deal with/help her. And, they are her issues to sort. Hopefully, she can get some counselling and get the assistance she needs. I don't think this speaks well of a long term relationship. Until she gets her life together, I would be very cautious. Thank You it's very hard at the moment just feel powerless. She really has a lot on her plate especially being a single mom il try pursade her to keep attending her counselling session because she was previously going
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Her family has it handled now and will get the help she needs. As soon as she is admitted to the hospital for suicide, child services will be notified to make sure her daughter is under safe care. 1
Author tynoe93 Posted July 31, 2016 Author Posted July 31, 2016 It's true we barely see each other that much but it was my goal to move in 2gether next year when I get a job cause I finish my degree this year. I hear and understand everything you guys are saying and I thank you I don't really know wat to think I never saw this coming,tried calling her but no answer think maybe I should give her some space but she needs to know I'm here for her
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 It's true we barely see each other that much but it was my goal to move in 2gether next year when I get a job cause I finish my degree this year. I hear and understand everything you guys are saying and I thank you I don't really know wat to think I never saw this coming,tried calling her but no answer think maybe I should give her some space but she needs to know I'm here for her She does know......space would be a good idea. 1
Author tynoe93 Posted July 31, 2016 Author Posted July 31, 2016 Okay but like how long do you think I should wait tho
ExpatInItaly Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 She isn't available to be in a relationship right now. Her primary focus needs to be getting healthy and providing a secure life for her daughter. Her family is looking after her, it seems. Sorry OP, but I don't think this is going to last. She has huge issues that you cannot help her with. Just for clarification, how often did you see each other, and how far apart are you?
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Okay but like how long do you think I should wait tho Leave your options open to date others, who knows you might met someone you just adore and ticks off all your boxes. Focus on you, your life goals and priorities, improve your quality of life financially and socially....get healthy and hit the gym to blow off some steam. If she contacts you later then take it from there. DO NOT put your life on hold for her.
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 She isn't available to be in a relationship right now. Her primary focus needs to be getting healthy and providing a secure life for her daughter. Her family is looking after her, it seems. Sorry OP, but I don't think this is going to last. She has huge issues that you cannot help her with. This is it, exactly. Don't wait for her. There is nothing to wait for - she is not available for a relationship right now. Get your life together, finish school, get your finances in order, and meet other people... Don't wait around for this woman because she has so many other issues that she is dealing with right now. A long distance relationship with you is not even a consideration for her right now.
Author tynoe93 Posted July 31, 2016 Author Posted July 31, 2016 thank you very much for your opinions il utilise Evry advise thoughts you have given means a lot
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