rose27 Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 (edited) I don't know if this is the right forum for this quesion, but I'm interested to know if anyone or anyone you know has ever broken up with someone and ended up getting back together? And when I say together, I mean you never broke up again. I guess I'm asking because I was at my cousin's engagement party last night, and 2 years ago when she first met her fiancé, their relationship was quite rocky while they were learning to adjust to one another. He had trust issues and they broke up for a while because she couldn't handle it. She had a bit of fun in between and he did whatever he did, but he still loved her and they ended up getting back together. Within a year, they managed to make things work and now they're getting married. I also have another family member who had a girlfriend for a while and we all thought they were going to get married. Things didn't work out for them and he moved to another state for a couple of years which is where he met his new girlfriend. That relationship failed so he ended up moving back and reuniting with his ex who he is planning to propose to soon. I know not all break ups end up like this, but it sure does give me hope! Edited July 30, 2016 by rose27 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 (edited) Yes, my older brother experienced this. He and his now-wife began dating in highschool. They remained together around 5 or 6 years, and broke up. They both dated others, but reconciled around a year later. That was many years ago now, and today they are happily married and have two children. My best friend went through it, too. She and her guy actually broke up twice while they were dating. The first time was after they'd been together around 2 years. They stayed separated a few months, before reconciling and moving in together. A couple years later, they again broke up but got back together about a month after, if I remember correctly. That was about 3 years ago now, and they got married last year. (Rather confusing timeline, I know!) However, I'm not sure they ever really resolved their issues and things haven't been so smooth-sailing. Edited July 30, 2016 by ExpatInItaly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 The reason I ended up here is because I read this woman's story who sounded as dismal as most of our own break-up stories. She was with a man that was indecisive and kept dumping her and she was struggling with N/C her thread went on for pages and pages of them getting back together, and finally splitting for good and her long and arduous journey waiting for him to reach out and struggling with N/C. I read about her ups and downs and fall-backs and set backs in contacting her ex. Her depression /longing lasted for months. About 6 months or a year later (can't remember) she posted a thread about how how they had gotten back together and were engaged to be married and happier than ever. I wish for the life of me that I could find her story again I cannot remember the poster's name, she was a British lady. (if anyone remembers this story and knows show she is I'd love to read up on it again) It was so compelling and it was interesting to see her fall back on her word and disappoint so many on here telling her not to do this or that yet in her heart she knew what she knew and she wanted what she wanted and did it her way and it had a happy ending. A real inspiring story. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ryan_XD Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 As you said, it definitely depends on HOW the break up occurred. If it was just "one of those things" both parties agreed that things weren't working and things ended in a dignified way, then of course if you both happen to be on the same page and are more mutually compatible then I see no reason why a past relationship cannot be rekindled. However, if the break-up ended with more hate/anger, involved cheating or anything bad then I'd say in most cases and most rightly so that it deserves to stay in the past. My ex-girlfriend and I were together for around 4 years, and have been apart now for about 15 months. We're still quite good friends, and speak over social media regularly - I haven't yet experienced signs of the relationship rekindling but who knows the future! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose27 Posted July 31, 2016 Author Share Posted July 31, 2016 The reason I ended up here is because I read this woman's story who sounded as dismal as most of our own break-up stories. She was with a man that was indecisive and kept dumping her and she was struggling with N/C her thread went on for pages and pages of them getting back together, and finally splitting for good and her long and arduous journey waiting for him to reach out and struggling with N/C. I read about her ups and downs and fall-backs and set backs in contacting her ex. Her depression /longing lasted for months. About 6 months or a year later (can't remember) she posted a thread about how how they had gotten back together and were engaged to be married and happier than ever. I wish for the life of me that I could find her story again I cannot remember the poster's name, she was a British lady. (if anyone remembers this story and knows show she is I'd love to read up on it again) It was so compelling and it was interesting to see her fall back on her word and disappoint so many on here telling her not to do this or that yet in her heart she knew what she knew and she wanted what she wanted and did it her way and it had a happy ending. A real inspiring story. What an amazing story! Sometimes it's so hard to follow the 'rules' when your heart knows what it wants. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rose27 Posted July 31, 2016 Author Share Posted July 31, 2016 As you said, it definitely depends on HOW the break up occurred. If it was just "one of those things" both parties agreed that things weren't working and things ended in a dignified way, then of course if you both happen to be on the same page and are more mutually compatible then I see no reason why a past relationship cannot be rekindled. However, if the break-up ended with more hate/anger, involved cheating or anything bad then I'd say in most cases and most rightly so that it deserves to stay in the past. My ex-girlfriend and I were together for around 4 years, and have been apart now for about 15 months. We're still quite good friends, and speak over social media regularly - I haven't yet experienced signs of the relationship rekindling but who knows the future! I was in a relationship for just over a year back in 2014. He had trust issues among other things which resulted in our breakup. I spent most of last year pining for his love and he didn't want a bar of it because he was convinced that I was cheating on him which is far from the truth. By March this year, I finally started to focus on myself and felt better than ever. In April I started a relationship with a guy at work but unfortunately it didn't work out. I'm still hurting over this relationship and last week out of the blue, my ex said he wanted to catch up. I didn't really want to but I went anyway and I realised that I had absolutely no feelings for him. He wanted to give it another go because his friends would constantly ask about me and they thought he was crazy for letting me go. Exes do sometimes come back and if I did feel anything for him, we probably would have been together by now. Focus on you first and foremost and everything else will fall into place. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 Stories of reconciliation are heartwarming, and something most of us fantasize about at one point or another in our lives in wake of our own failed relationships. And hope is usually not a bad thing. However, I think that sometimes these outliers do us more bad than good in the long run. They keep us stuck; clinging to a day of reconciliation that may never come. They prevent us from starting the long road to emotional recovery. We look up, months, maybe even years after that fact and finally realize we have put off this essential part of the post-relationship process. And we have done so for nothing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Bialy Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 It depends. My aunt has been in a 3 year relationship with a man she dated 25 years ago! At the time, when they were younger, they took each other for granted. He was also an alcoholic and my aunt didn't know what she wanted out of life. They lost touch and found each 3 years ago -- they're in their late 50's. He's no longer an alcoholic (sober for at least 15 years) and my aunt knows she wants stability. She has found it with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sooshi Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 Aww, Bialy, that's such a heartwarming story. And I love your profile picture! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 I am engaged to a former ex. It didn't happen overnight. We were apart for a long time before we got back together, and I wasn't waiting around for him..I dated other people, I fell out of love with him. The relationship we have now is a new one..it's not the same at all. We love each other very much but it took a long time to get here. The only way it works out with an ex is if there's enough time and space in between the relationships for both parties to make significant changes. Remember, you broke up for a reason. If that reason hasn't changed then you have zero chance of working it out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 I'd bet statistics on reconciliations lasting any length of time would be very low. Everyone I know that's been in a marriage over 10 years, didn't have any break ups at all trough the relationship. I've had several long term R/S. All that suffered a break up/get back together didn't last, including a marriage that had break ups though the dating process. Usually break ups happen for a reason and they are a warning sign of incompatibility. I had a toxic 1 year plus R/S end after 16 months a few years ago. I didn't listen to my own advice while in it. Several break ups. She had issues and I should of never went back after the first break up. Finally, I ran the other way after the break up and met a healthy woman a few months later. This ex came back 6 months later begging for another chance and didn't give up for several months. She was told "oh hell no" and it was the smartest thing I ever did. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 What an amazing story! Sometimes it's so hard to follow the 'rules' when your heart knows what it wants. Exactly! I'm a firm believer that each person needs to pave their own way because while some rules are made up to help people across the board not all situations are exactly the same or will require the same cookie-cutter approach. Link to post Share on other sites
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