Ex is indirectly contacting me on social media [updated: He randomly sent me nudes]

[niveacream]

He broke up with me 2 months ago. 1 month ago he texted me saying "hi" I ignored because I was trying to move on but then I kinda miss him... and replied "hi" one week ago... He then said "how are you, (petname)?" after one day. I said "I'm fine, take care"... I guess he got mad because he commented on my IG right after that saying that my phone sucks... I replied 2 days ago and he didn't say anything.

Is he playing games?

[Giggles666]

Your phone sucks or his phone sucks?

 

Ignore him if you want to move on, if you feel like you need to keep missing him and not moving on keep replying back.

 

Why did you break up?

 

Doesn't sound too deep a contact to be honest.

[niveacream]

My cellphone, not his.

Yeah it seems lame contact. He broke up with me after being beat up by gang members but I think he has depression since he lost all of his money due to drug addiction. He said he was toxic and he needed to figure out his life.

[Giggles666]

For your own path in life and something you deserve just ignore him. He sounds like a mess, do you want a mess?

[niveacream]

I don't want that mess and I need to keep reminding myself of that...but I also remember the first months we were together and he was an angel. I didn't know he was involved in drugs, gangs and dealing. I miss that person he was when we met.

I hope he remembers those moments.

[Giggles666]

I'm sure he does remember those moments, and I can understand you missing him when he was an angel. I would try and realize though that you are perhaps holding onto someone that no longer exists, we do that when we love or are attracted to people. It's biology/chemistry.

 

I am sorry you feel this way, but perhaps you should realize you need someone who will be an angel all the time.

 

I'm guilty of substance abuse, I was not good for anyone and I realized hiding this and also wanting the reward of a relationship does not come without working through my abuse issues. A relationship will not save us substance abusers, a failed one might wake us up. I had a failed one about 15 years ago, I loved her very much. It took me about another 5 years to get clean. I am now friends with this woman 15 years later, I came back into her life and she came back into mine. But the damage was done, she's one of my closest friends but I always wanted more...losing her woke me up.

 

I wish you the best, and of course, you miss him. You also sound like you care for him, part of that might be you moving on and caring about yourself.

[juniorrocha]

I wouldn't say he's playing games. Knowing he left so you wouldn't be involved in his **** is a sign he cares about you, I suppose.

 

Leave it at that. He was mess when he left and you are unsure whether he still is or not. If eventually he try to start a real conversation with you, then you see what you should do.

[niveacream]

I'm sure he does remember those moments, and I can understand you missing him when he was an angel. I would try and realize though that you are perhaps holding onto someone that no longer exists, we do that when we love or are attracted to people. It's biology/chemistry.

 

I am sorry you feel this way, but perhaps you should realize you need someone who will be an angel all the time.

 

I'm guilty of substance abuse, I was not good for anyone and I realized hiding this and also wanting the reward of a relationship does not come without working through my abuse issues. A relationship will not save us substance abusers, a failed one might wake us up. I had a failed one about 15 years ago, I loved her very much. It took me about another 5 years to get clean. I am now friends with this woman 15 years later, I came back into her life and she came back into mine. But the damage was done, she's one of my closest friends but I always wanted more...losing her woke me up.

 

I wish you the best, and of course, you miss him. You also sound like you care for him, part of that might be you moving on and caring about yourself.

 

 

Thanks! You have a very mature perspective about it, you were in his shoes but you still know how hard it is to someone else to deal with a partner's addiction.

What would you expect from your ex partner when you were addicted to that substance? You had to hit the rock bottom? I know everybody's different but did you miss her or tried to contact her?

I do care for him but he made me feel miserable many times...

[niveacream]

My ex-bf's aunt texted me today, asking me how I was...I know that his family really liked me and thought I was great for him. When he broke up with me, his mom texted me saying "I may love him but I was better off because he was toxic (money probs, addiction, etc)".

 

I'm intrigued with her contact...and I'm tempted to ask how my ex is, but I don't know if I should ask this because I don't want to have a set back.

 

What should I do?

[Giggles666]

//What would you expect from your ex partner when you were addicted to that substance? You had to hit the rock bottom? I know everybody's different but did you miss her or tried to contact her?//

 

Nothing, she owed me nothing. I brought toxicity into the relationship and I hurt her. I walked away from her to save her the pain, and to absolve the guilt I felt for hurting such a great woman. I had to hit rock bottom and realize this. She eventually got married, had a kid and her and I were able to be "friends". By friends I mean someone she was friendly with but I kept my distance. She then got divorced about 3 years ago, and we started some communications, I showed her I had changed, was sober etc. She was happy about this.

 

I recently dated her this spring had a great time, things ended abruptly, I am not sure why but it crushed me. Then this past weekend she came back into my life, would not discuss why we broke up. I lost her twice, once cause I was an addict and the second time I will never know. She's been in my life for over 15 years in some form or another. I love her very much, but life happens. The best I could hope for is she be in my life in some way shape or form.

 

She put up with a lot from me, and I am thankful she saw value in me even if it will never be an intimate relationship.

 

I'm sober and looking back it's hard for me to realize I did screwup but had to hit rock bottom, get sober, grow as a person and that was a long time ago. I'm not that guy anymore.

 

You obviously care about him, you seem like a good person. You need to live your life and realize he's got issues only he can face and hopefully overcome...don't wait on him, live your life it's out of your control. Control what you can, your own destiny.

[niveacream]

//What would you expect from your ex partner when you were addicted to that substance? You had to hit the rock bottom? I know everybody's different but did you miss her or tried to contact her?//

 

Nothing, she owed me nothing. I brought toxicity into the relationship and I hurt her. I walked away from her to save her the pain, and to absolve the guilt I felt for hurting such a great woman. I had to hit rock bottom and realize this. She eventually got married, had a kid and her and I were able to be "friends". By friends I mean someone she was friendly with but I kept my distance. She then got divorced about 3 years ago, and we started some communications, I showed her I had changed, was sober etc. She was happy about this.

 

I recently dated her this spring had a great time, things ended abruptly, I am not sure why but it crushed me. Then this past weekend she came back into my life, would not discuss why we broke up. I lost her twice, once cause I was an addict and the second time I will never know. She's been in my life for over 15 years in some form or another. I love her very much, but life happens. The best I could hope for is she be in my life in some way shape or form.

 

She put up with a lot from me, and I am thankful she saw value in me even if it will never be an intimate relationship.

 

I'm sober and looking back it's hard for me to realize I did screwup but had to hit rock bottom, get sober, grow as a person and that was a long time ago. I'm not that guy anymore.

 

You obviously care about him, you seem like a good person. You need to live your life and realize he's got issues only he can face and hopefully overcome...don't wait on him, live your life it's out of your control. Control what you can, your own destiny.

 

Thank you! I really cared about him and I know his mom got really mad at him for breaking up with me. I know he was at his worse (no money, depressed, problems with gang members) and I loved him the same way...I thought love should be unconditional. I'm going to live my life and hope to forget about him. It's really hard to do it when you still have feelings and I'm sure your ex struggled a lot.

 

Good job in getting sober! You must be proud of yourself.

The relationships you had after her didn't fullfill your needs?

[Giggles666]

//Good job in getting sober! You must be proud of yourself.

The relationships you had after her didn't fullfill your needs?//

 

Not sure if proud is the word lol, I'm glad. I like being sober, it's enjoyable and makes life much easier.

 

The relationships I had after her were mixed, some were toxic, some lacked spark, some just died. At this point I am moving on again, maybe one will be fulfilling one day. I've never married, have no kids, and it's OK. Sometimes we love folks and that's not enough. What happened is in the past and I can not control or change it, but I can still live my life and have hope that one day I will possibly meet someone who fulfills a relationship with me.

 

I hope your friend gets help, he has an illness, and he has supportive folks like you and a family. He might realize that one day. You take care of yourself, love yourself, and you can only do so much for him. I wish both of you the best.

[niveacream]

//Good job in getting sober! You must be proud of yourself.

The relationships you had after her didn't fullfill your needs?//

 

Not sure if proud is the word lol, I'm glad. I like being sober, it's enjoyable and makes life much easier.

 

The relationships I had after her were mixed, some were toxic, some lacked spark, some just died. At this point I am moving on again, maybe one will be fulfilling one day. I've never married, have no kids, and it's OK. Sometimes we love folks and that's not enough. What happened is in the past and I can not control or change it, but I can still live my life and have hope that one day I will possibly meet someone who fulfills a relationship with me.

 

I hope your friend gets help, he has an illness, and he has supportive folks like you and a family. He might realize that one day. You take care of yourself, love yourself, and you can only do so much for him. I wish both of you the best.

 

Wish you the best too!

Thanks a lot. I don't think he will get help because he didn't believe that rehab could work. He said that people who work in those place don't know what addicts go through, so they can't help him.

I tried my best to help him, even my mother tried to help him since they were very close to each other...but he just disappeared.

In a way, I'm better without him because he hurt me many times: talking about other women being hot, anger issues, mood swings, screaming at me for stupid reasons...it wasn't easy but I don't know if I can blame his addiction for his behavior.

[niveacream]

My ex contacted me yesterday because of the Eurocup (wtf?!), I answered and he didn't reply. I'm not sure why he is doing this and then ignores my answer.

I'm a bit curious about how he is dealing with his addiction. Should I ask him directly or you think it's rude to bring that topic?

[niveacream]

http://www.lovethispic.com/uploaded_images/226239-Love-Didn-t-Hurt-You.-Someone-Who-Doesn-t-Know-How-To-Love-Hurt-You.-Don-t-Confuse-The-Two.jpg

 

Ex sent me that picture. How would you interpret that?

[niveacream]

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago.

A few days ago he tagged me in a quote "love didn't hurt you, someone who didn't know how to love you hurt you.". I replied saying that it's okay and I wish him the best of luck for his life. He didn't answer but I wasn't expecting an answer. It made me confuse but now I'm feeling better about the breakup and I felt good for saying goodbye.

 

Recently he made comments on my Instagram and liked one pic I posted yesterday.

 

His mom who also follows me on Instagram said to me that he had the nerve to bother me after his behavior (he broke up with me via text and in a very cold way).

 

What do you think of all of this?

[Blanco]

Move on. That's what I think about all this.

[sooshi]

I think it's best to not have contact with him or his mom, and move on.

[azlightsout]

Move on. That's what I think about all this.

 

yeah move on - dont take the bait --- they want you to respond - just ignore them and they will fade into darkness (where they belong)

[stillafool]

Why didn't you block him?

[Sunkissedpatio]

You're both playing control games and to see if you still have each other.

 

He reaches out so that when you respond he can disappear and that way he is in control again.

 

Whomever reached out and then disappears when the other responds is in control.

[Densel]

Both of you have feelings for each other thats why you both are playing games.

 

But where does this game leads to?

 

Please be the sensible one. Cut all this crap or talk it out face to face.

[niveacream]

Thank you guys!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that mind games are being played. lol

When I said goodbye and wished him the best of luck, I was being sincere and I felt good for saying goodbye. I thought that he wouldn't say anything after that so I didn't even block him.

 

I follow his family on social media and I'm in good terms with them, that's why I didn't block him...but I guess you are all right. I was on Instagram right now and I saw a picture of a souvenir from country on my explore section...and I clicked on that picture and it was a picture that my ex just posted saying something nasty about people from my country (he is American but I'm not). When we dated he used to say stupid things about it to cause a reaction.

 

When I saw that I really wanted to comment but I will just ignore because I believe he is doing that on purpose.

[Marc878]

From what you posted this guy is a loser. Block him on everything and don't look back. No one needs that drama in their life.

 

You're actually lucky he's gone. Keep it that way. There are better out there.

[Mira222]

IGNORE HIM. Doesn't sound like he is serious to me. Maybe he missed you or came back for an ego boost. But trust me it's for your owb sake to move on. You would even sound more attractive to him when you ignore him. Men are hunters, that's what they do. I would say give him a chance but I don't know I just feel like he isn't serious and that he just came back to make sure you're still hooked up. He broke your heart, Don't give him the satisfaction of thinking you're still in love with him.