slider1985 Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 So I finally discovered the truth. Quick recap: Dated this girl for 2.5 months. Chatted on the phone daily, always texted and asked for reassurance. Hung out 2-3 days a week. Decorated my condo and even bought a rug for my place. Setup a pinterest account together, went away for the weekend at the cottage. Asked for us to be exclusive after 5 weeks. She was extremely attractive jealous, anxiety, needy, high maintenance but she new she was gorgeous. She would pretend to be exclusive but when she was out with her friends she was single. I discovered after the fact. All of a sudden she went cold and distant and never gave me an answer. She tried to string me along for two weekd after she went distant. Her instagram account goes private, red flag… Looking back at it now she was an ultimate player. Very manipulative and giving me bread crumbs the final 2 weeks. no matter how wrong she was there was no reasoning with her. I guess what bothers me most is that she couldn't be mature about it and end it properly. I don't understand the reason to game someone along be distant and pretend nothing happened. Truth: She dumped me for a Multimillionaire!! A close friend of mine who is linked to this dudes instagram account sent me a photo last night of the two together with comments below “ cutest couple” . She also responded with “ he’s a great co-pilot” “heart” It sounds like they’ve hooked up in the last while. She was playing us both. She always mentioned to me about a friend of hers who was extremely wealthy and was young and loved to party and had fancy toys and would pick her up in his fancy mclaren. I was cool with it because I wasn’t the jealous type, I have to admit I feel like the idiot. I’m not sure how to feel. A part of me realizes I could never compete with that. Decent looking guy with astronomical wealth. He can get whatever he wants and he got it. I was always plan B. There were nights she would tell me she was crashing at her GF place the truth is she was with him. Then she would call me in the morning and refer to me as “lovey”. Boy I was duped. Just wish she never lead me on and had the maturity to be honest with me. she was a liar! Its over and shes moved on. She blamed me for things not working out. Is there any sense sending her a final text msg letting her know that I finally know the truth.? Thanks for wasting my time! It never had anything to do with me. I've come to realise through my experiences and friends that securing an attractive girl who knows she's gorgeous is extremely difficult. Money almost buys you happiness!She is his trophy wife!
dpass Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 Its over and shes moved on. She blamed me for things not working out. Is there any sense sending her a final text msg letting her know that I finally know the truth.? Thanks for wasting my time! It never had anything to do with me. No, just leave it be. She doesn't care about you so sending the message just makes you look pathetic. It sounds like you were moving too fast anyway, and that often burns out quickly. Setting up a pintrest account together? That's something you do when you are planning a wedding, or house building or decorating.
bubbaganoosh Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 You live and learn. So you got burned. Join the club. My advice is to move on. Sooner or later that player millionaire will get tired of her and discard her like yesterdays garbage. Not worth sending her a text. If anything, send him one and let him know that you were seeing her too and she lied to him too but that's kind of petty. Karma comes in all kids of ways and sooner or later karm will visit her. 2
Gaeta Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 (edited) Not worth it. She doesn't care. You won't make a difference in her day. She probably won't read it and delete. You need to learn from this experience. I have told you a few things you need to change in your other thread. You also need a plan. You need a list of what you want in a lady and not waste your time on people full of red flags. Go slow, remember relationships that start fast and furious also end fast and furious. This bitterness you are experiencing is counter productive. It's a waste of your time. _______________ “There are no real successes without rejection. The more rejection you get, the better you are, the more you've learned, the closer you are to your outcome... If you can handle rejection, you'll learn to get everything you want.” ― Anthony Robbins Edited July 30, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed URL
leogirl876 Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 Just move on. We've all been burned, some of us more than others. It seems like the people who get burned are the ones with a good heart and good intentions. Instead of becoming angry, take this as a learning lesson on how you can apply it to the future. I think the universe puts people in our lives so we can learn and grow from it. Maybe someone like this will come into your life again and the next time, you'll know how to handle it better and won't get sucked in.
bachdude Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 It's hard to tell from what you wrote exactly how this whole thing went down with the rich dude, so I'd avoid any accusations directly to her, even though most people, including myself, probably suspect a two timing player. Look, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of writing an email or confronting her. Why? Because she's not worth another precious second of your time.
LostOnes05 Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 Nah, don't send her a thing. It's really not worth it and now that you know the truth STOP GETTING INFO ON HER...it'll only keep the wounds open. I know how you feel, but these kind of people are a dime a dozen. When this guy gets a whiff of her bad side he'll probably dump her without a second thought. Why? Because he'll know exactly what she is about and what he has to lose by entertaining her seriously. It's sad, but when some women know you like them (or love them) they will try to push every last button they can to test you. And when they find it, playtime is over. Even if they fall in love, blah, blah,blah, there's a 50% chance they'll end up divorced and unhappy. She'll take half of everything he owns just because she stuck around just long enough and maybe even had a few kids for him as insurance. Would you really want to have that happen with a woman you already know is untrustworthy? Nope. Remember that when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. I've learned this lesson of trusting the hard way as well. I've also learned the need to evaluate a woman's words and actions as separate entities on a daily basis...because that's essentially how they change their minds/feelings. If they don't match consistently...she's out. If she gives the hot and cold treatment...she's out. If she can't communicate how she feels/thinks and just has emotional outbursts...she's out. If I find her to be manipulative and a liar/past cheating...she's out. I'm 29 yrs old and already tired of the games women play in getting to know them/relationships. The sad thing is I grew up with the ideology that if you liked/loved someone and they liked/loved you that you were to treat each other with respect, loyalty, faithfulness, and honesty. Obviously, that isn't the case with my dating experience (or I wouldn't be on here). But there is power in vetting your dates/gf/wife and power in knowing when to walk away and mean it. While you may not know exactly what you want, you should know what you don't want. I've actually made a list of things I want in a partner and what I absolutely won't tolerate. So if I come across a woman that has cheated in the past, but says "oh but you're different..I'd never"...she's out. Why? Because past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior and I come with the understanding that if they were capable of doing it to someone else, I'm no different. 1
JuanDelToro Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 You're seeing this from the wrong perspective. She's was up for sale and the first moron with some dough and no self respect bought her. They deserve each other and you dodged a bullet. Money does bring happiness in certain areas but it does NOT bring happiness to intimate relationships that are based on it. Fact. There are tons of gorgeous women out there that they'll choose a real man over a beta trust-fund boy in a blink of the eye. You just have to stop behaving like an orbiter, thinking you're lacking compared to other guys, victimizing yourself and start working on becoming a man that women want. Also, there's no one stopping you from becoming wealthy. It's all in your head and a matter of taking the decision. Then you can have a fancy mclaren as well.
Author slider1985 Posted July 30, 2016 Author Posted July 30, 2016 Thanks, I realise it's not just about looks but I liked her for the wrong reasons and that was because she was beautiful model like and I chose to ignore the red flags. Too afraid to lose her. At 34 I'm very successful been told very good looking, sociable but I'll be honest I'm not a man. I'm still a little boy witth weak back bone. I see coucelling on a weekly basis to help with my confidence but it's not working. I continue to get burned even by girls I'm not intersted in. Out of the gate I'm calm , cool and collective and guard up but I'm easily broken when they are affectionate or do nice things for me. I can see it in the beginning these girls view me as a catch, challenge, player successful and they get infatused but onece they get to know me and realize I'm not that guy, just a normal kind person the interest is lost. (Maybe too much of a nice guy ) or maybe they can feel my desperation, granted most of these girls that have burned me have all been young 26-29. My expectations are unrealistic and I trust worthy. I need to build a better relationship with myself. Ive been told in too picky and I need to settle for less because of my weak personality I will never be that guy that gorgeous women find attractive. I rely on these women to give me an identity. I need to develop myself first, become more assertive, decisive, confident and have the attitude that these women should sell themselves to me not the other way around. I need to build a better relationship with myself first. I know this all in theory and i need to take a break from dating but I havnt done anything to help develop myself. I continue to make the same mistakes.
biker23 Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 I've also learned the need to evaluate a woman's words and actions as separate entities on a daily basis...because that's essentially how they change their minds/feelings. If they don't match consistently...she's out. If she gives the hot and cold treatment...she's out. If she can't communicate how she feels/thinks and just has emotional outbursts...she's out. If I find her to be manipulative and a liar/past cheating...she's out. This is an amazing list. and so hard. My latest relationship would have been over in less than a month if i used the above and it would have saved me time. But never easy to be firm with that list and truly move on. I would add if you get warning bells and you arent sure why...dont ignore them. the hairs on the back of your neck sorta whats going on negative vibe. 2
bachdude Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 Slider, I read your last post. Just be careful with trying to put on a show for women. There are women, true, who want a Marlboro man type who doesn't get his feelings hurt, has no insecurities, no sensitivities or vulnerabilities, is always a rock, and kills wild boars with his bare hands on weekends between making $1,000,000 a year. But this isn't being a human being. Just work on being a healthy individual with good boundaries but realize you may always be more of a sensitive type guy. That's great too. I would consider myself more "sensitive" than Marlboro and I'm happy to be this way.
preraph Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 Golddigger and you were going along with it to some extent too.
Author slider1985 Posted July 30, 2016 Author Posted July 30, 2016 I can admit I knew it and I went with it. I didn't try to impress her or show off . Not my style. Didn't buy her gifts or any such things. I did pay for most of thr entertainment because she doesn't work. She took advantage and went for the ride. Several times she had tantrums and outburst and would start arguments for absolutely no reason. In thr car, over dinner. I didn't stay quite, always threw it back at her but talk is cheap. She was pressing my buttons and testing the boundaries and I didn't man up. She insulted me one time for not taking initiative when I'm the one who did all the planning. I should have turned that car around and driven her home. The fact is I didn't man up when I shoukd have and that's what bothers me most. It's over and I will move on but I can't get her off my mind..
lolablue17 Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 (edited) Look at it that way: She's attractive, she's gorgeous, she's a player, and she aims high, for the multi millioners level. She's good with fishing and using rich men. You, not rich at all, had managed to bang her for a while. If it's not an ego boost, than I don't know what is... Edited July 30, 2016 by lolablue17 2
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