XNemesisX Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 I have been avoiding this guy for some time. He's very HOT but he's just too clingy on me and overbearing. I have been blatantly ignoring him and even still, he persists. He sent me an email last night asking if I was still alive and I told him I was, I just haven't felt like talking to people. This is what he wrote back, do you think this is weird or do you think this is nice? Is this guy a fruit loop for still calling me repeatedly and emailing like crazy? good to hear your alive. **** depression.... its a figment of your imagination. break your internet addiction... start hanging out with a badass like myself. I have tried you know. I do realize you dont want to date me at all.... thats fine; However, you are cool to hang out with and talk to. so.... I would like to do so anytime to be honest. chop chop... make it happen... stop hunting lost souls and orbs... stop hitting silent when I call... do a handstand for 15 seconds... let me draw a picture of you to replace the faith hill... you are far more beautiful than her B... I just think you have no idea. d. Is this weird? P.S. The Faith Hill comment...I have a drawing of her on my wall that I bought. When people see it they think it's me. I supposedly favor her. So in case you were wondering, that is what he's talking about. The "hitting silent" when I call === How does he know!??! handstand? hunting lost souls? I did take a photo in my apt that had orbs in it...but....
d'Arthez Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Either weird, or an unhappy poet in the making, XNemesisX. I don´t like the parts where he seems to belittle your depression problems, and the self-proclaimed badassery of him. That is not the way I would try to build up a friendship (if not more), with someone.
alphamale Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 this dude is a wacko nut-case. run...don't walk. tell him u just started dating someone if you have to...
Bronzepen Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 He is assuming your depressed. Then makes lite jokes of it in order to raise your spirits. Like you said, he is clinging and tries way too hard. border line obsession. Tell him thanks but no thanks. then block him.
Pocky Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 He's a dork. ---EDIT-- I just noticed the picture! She's so cute!
Author XNemesisX Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 It looks like everyone is agreeing that hes a weirdo. I just don't know how to get him to go away! He's friends with some of my friends so I can't really make up a boyfriend... Oh..you all think that one is weird...check this one out. He wrote this one last week after he came by my apartment (and I purposely) didn't answer the door. So what's the story, morning glory? sooo.... im not quite sure what to do actually. I came over earlier and you where not there.... then I came over just a little bit ago and you where there but didn't answer the door. no call. no you. hmmm. I will do as you wish you know. I would love to spend time with you; However, have no idea if you even what me around. what should I do B? d. I have about 20 emails that are similar to this. Does this guy not get the hint? Btw..I did tell him I didn't want to date for a while. So, now he is trying to get me to hang out wtih him as "friends." How the heck do you tell someone like this that you don't even want to be their friend? It makes me feel like an a**hole to tell someone that, but he's just so friggin weird! Edit: Thanks Pocky!
alphamale Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX How the heck do you tell someone like this that you don't even want to be their friend? It makes me feel like an a**hole to tell someone that, but he's just so friggin weird! just tell him that if he does not leave u alone that your friend alpha from LS will come down an kick the sheeyot outta him no, really, just send him a direct and straight fwd email saying there is no chemistry between u two and he needs to stop contacting you. or you could use one of your mutual friends to convey this msg to him.
d'Arthez Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 You are well aware in what direction this obsession can and probably will turn. Already you are not comfortable with him, and the more he keeps this insanity up, the worse it will become for you. Try writing him a clear email, that you are not intested in him, as a friend, and as a lover. You don't have to give all reasons, just keep it short. Also insist that you don't want to have any contact, in any form. Block his emails, and refuse to take his calls. Refuse to meet him, and make at least certain that the people who you trust know a bit of what goes on between you and him - for safety reasons. If keeps on pestering, I would start to look at the legal options. Chances are high, that he is becoming completely obsessed with you - not good. That warrants psychological treatment, but he will be the last person to see that .
TUDOR Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 I think it is time to stop with the sugar coating and just tell him thanks but no thanks. Some times you have to be mean to get through thick headed people! If you must have an excuse for the guy just tell him that you don't think men and woman can be friends and that you would prefer he leave you alone all together. If all else fails I will gladly join alpha in a good LS 101 with this guy!
UltimateZen Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 I agree with Tudor. Be upfront and direct. Tell him you are not interested. If he still persists, then I would be even more direct and tell him that if he cannot stop pursuing you that you will get a restraining order.
Author XNemesisX Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale just tell him that if he does not leave u alone that your friend alpha from LS will come down an kick the sheeyot outta him Originally posted by TUDOR If all else fails I will gladly join alpha in a good LS 101 with this guy! Thanks guys! I think I like Alpha's idea on having my mutual friends relay this message to him. I just don't know what to expect from him. I suppose I could send him an email but I'm almost scared to piss him off. I don't think he's right in the head. I failed to mention the email he sent me after I told him I didn't want to date him. Suddenly, his mother is dying of cancer. So of course I told him that anytime he wanted to talk about it I would be here for him. I guess this encouraged him even more to try to pursue a "friendship" with me. Comes to find out, NONE of our mutual friends had heard ANYTHING about his mother dying. Does anyone think this is suspicious? I'm sure that if I send him an email telling him I don't want to be friends with him either that he will throw his "dying mother" up in the air and guilt me. Should I call him out on it? I'm POSITIVE he will say something to me about being an a**hole not to be his friend or spend time with him because of his mother.
d'Arthez Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 No don't call him on the mother who is suddenly dying of cancer. He will guilt-trip you more, and offer further rationalizations / confusion - and you need a clear mind. He could write that in an email - but he could also tell that when a friend tells him to leave you alone - and that you offered to listen to him in the process about it. Whatever means of relaying the message you choose (and that depends on your perception of the severity of his obsession), prepare yourself (and the possible person that may relay the message) for his behavior, so as not to give in, in any form.
Author XNemesisX Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 I found the email about his mother: Im having a hard time lately too... owning a business is so so hard at times. Even if its going great! odd thing... kinda hard to explain I guess. I have had a lot on my shoulders lately.. and my moms health has been real bad, so im sort of stressed and worried and sad. I was talking to her on the phone on my way to work this morning and I started to tear up a little... its the first time I have cried in a while, she didnt know it though. ****ing crazy! blah... im not real sure why I just typed all that. It just hurts to know I won't have my mother much longer... I have been wanting to hear more of AVB... I was diggin it! I am also thinking about staying with my friend in ____ for a while off and on... you will have to see his place... I think you will dig the style a whole lot! we should get together and have some drinks soon... well, tonight even. hehe I think we can put together a fantastic resume for you... I dont want you to leave! I know you don't want to date me, b. but we can be friends right. Would you like to hang out tonight? d. .
moimeme Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 I just don't know how to get him to go away! Here's your problem: I have been blatantly ignoring him and even still, he persists. He sent me an email last night asking if I was still alive and I told him I was, I just haven't felt like talking to people. Like the others said, forget the 'blatantly ignoring him'. When he asked if you were still alive, you should have said yes and thanks for the note but you don't think you have much in common. I think I like Alpha's idea on having my mutual friends relay this message to him Tell him yourself or else he'll think your friends are 'out to get him'. He won't believe them. I'm sure that if I send him an email telling him I don't want to be friends with him either that he will throw his "dying mother" up in the air and guilt me. Should I call him out on it? I'm POSITIVE he will say something to me about being an a**hole not to be his friend or spend time with him because of his mother. So? Tell him you're very sorry, that his mom's doc will have contacts for support groups he might want to check into, and that you are not able to furnish that service for hime.
alphamale Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by XNemesisX Does anyone think this is suspicious? XNX....I think you should PM someone with this dude's name and address just in case they find you hacked up into 15 pieces in the trunk of some car. no, j/k
Author XNemesisX Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez No don't call him on the mother who is suddenly dying of cancer. He will guilt-trip you more, and offer further rationalizations / confusion - and you need a clear mind. He could write that in an email - but he could also tell that when a friend tells him to leave you alone - and that you offered to listen to him in the process about it. Whatever means of relaying the message you choose (and that depends on your perception of the severity of his obsession), prepare yourself (and the possible person that may relay the message) for his behavior, so as not to give in, in any form. I hope it does not turn out this bad, d'Arthez. I do think he might have some mental problems though, just from what I can tell and this doesn't feel too comforting. First I will try to have a mutual friend relay the message to him and then you can bet your money he will be ringing my phone off the hook and emailing me more asking me why I don't want to be friends with him. What is a good reply? If I tell him I don't think men and women can be friends he will know that's b.s. because one of my best friends is a GUY who is friends with him also. That's how D met me...through this guy friend of mine.
Author XNemesisX Posted June 30, 2005 Author Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by moimeme Like the others said, forget the 'blatantly ignoring him'. When he asked if you were still alive, you should have said yes and thanks for the note but you don't think you have much in common. Tell him yourself or else he'll think your friends are 'out to get him'. He won't believe them. So? Tell him you're very sorry, that his mom's doc will have contacts for support groups he might want to check into, and that you are not able to furnish that service for hime. I guess another reason I don't want to be blatant and tell him "yes I'm alive, but I don't think we have much in common" is because from time to time, I know I will have to run into him (because of the mutual friends) and I hate to think I won't be able to see my friends because he will be there and it will make it awkward. Normally, I would have told someone flat out that I'm just not interested in pursuing a friendship or otherwise with him. In this case, I still have to see this guy possibly from time to time! I agree he might disbelieve the friends. You are right...I suppose it really should come from me first. I like the last thing you said...now that would be a jaw dropper to him Originally posted by Alphamale XNX....I think you should PM someone with this dude's name and address just in case they find you hacked up into 15 pieces in the trunk of some car. no, j/k I really hope not!
d'Arthez Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 This is just a sketch, and I am by no means an expert on handling situations like this: "D, I know you are trying to pursue a friendship, and even a relationship with me. Your emails have testified of the fact repeatedly. And I have tried to ignore that, hoping that you would read my intentions well. But you did not. Sometimes that happens. That is why I am writing you this email. I don't want to spend time with you, I don't want to be friends with you, and I don't want a relationship with you. Never. We just lack what it takes in my mind - and there are two people to be in a friendship, or a relationship. Not just one who tries very hard to make things work. They can't work. Sometimes, we just have to accept that. Please, stop pursuing me, in any fashion. Don't call me, don't email me, and don't seek contact with me in any form - you can't change my mind. B" I would write something like this. From what I understand, he also waits for you at home ? If so a mention of that is absolutely necessary. Instead of blocking his emails you should accept them, in contradiction to my earlier advice - these might be handy in case legal action is required. And the same holds true for phonecalls, et cetera. Also, remember to tell at least a few of your friends of the problem you have with D. They may be almost completely oblivious to the problems.
lindya Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 I think he's definitely sensed a vulnerability about you. There's more than a hint of emotional manipulation here - particularly with all the emphasis on his ill mother. One thing I do wonder, given the content of some of his emails. How much have you spoken to him about your life and any problems you might be having just now? Have you maybe told him a little more about yourself than you're comfortable with... and if so, is that making it more difficult to give him the brush off now?
Mz. Pixie Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 He sounds creepy- scary even. People like him turn out to be wacko. He's already stalking you. I think the e mail that was above sounds right. If he's coming by your house tell him not to anymore. If he continues to do it, file a complaint with the police. You CANNOT be that nice to people like that.
crazy_grl Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Freakin crazy guy... I say you start talking to him about weddings and kids and be even crazier than he is. Invite him only on dates to pick out wedding rings, wedding dresses, and baby clothes. Thow lots of hissy fits and be really annoying. He might think you're nuts, but he'll go away and stop harassing you. Unless he's majorly nuts. Okay, that might not work.... but it might.
newbby Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 "D, I know you are trying to pursue a friendship, and even a relationship with me. Your emails have testified of the fact repeatedly. And I have tried to ignore that, hoping that you would read my intentions well. But you did not. Sometimes that happens. That is why I am writing you this email. I don't want to spend time with you, I don't want to be friends with you, and I don't want a relationship with you. Never. We just lack what it takes in my mind - and there are two people to be in a friendship, or a relationship. Not just one who tries very hard to make things work. They can't work. Sometimes, we just have to accept that. Please, stop pursuing me, in any fashion. Don't call me, don't email me, and don't seek contact with me in any form - you can't change my mind. B" i think this covers everything, but i think that it may be an idea to contact the police about this aswell. whoever said its better coming from you, i agree. sometimes you try to shrug things off like this but he sounds really quite freaky and it sounds like its been going on a long time, maybe he sees the fact that you have not said anything to him as encouragement or something, and if he knows that you dont answer to him then why still try and talk to you. i think i would shorten d'arthez's letter a bit, keep it short and to the point, just say "yes you are right, i do not want a relationship with you, i also do not want to be friends" and then the last bit of d'arthez's letter. im not sure about the "you cant change my mind" bit, i dont think its neccessary to say that, and to a crazy guy it may sound like an invitation to try, a challenge. it doesnt need to be said. tell your friends aswell, have you told them? and what do they think?
SweetSerenity Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 This guy sounds like the guy from the movie "The Cable Guy". Hehe. I would be very careful. He is smothering you like gravy on biscuits. You should be totally firm with him. Look what happened in the movie. Lol. But seriously tell him you have no time for new friends and that you just don't see any type of relationship between you two right now and that you're way too busy to be inclined and that you'd like to sever the contact. If things start to get even weirder then I would contact your local police department.
AndrewJ Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 On the flipside you could hand out with him for comic releif Study him and write a book (best seller) You can learn alot from what is not in your comfort zone, thats if u are in to writing?
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