Trinity_84 Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 I was wondering if there's any "scientific" proof of certain kinds of people being better off while single, as opposed to in a relationship? I ask because I feel I am like that. When I am in a relationship I lose myself in my partner and when I am single, I feel alive and empowered! I value my independence above anything else. I realize being in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you lose it, but it seems in my experience, I have... I don't feel as "free" as when I am single. Is it just something that can be resolved with therapy/maturing or is it an actual state of mind? What do you guys think? 2
Nowty V Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 I always feel empowered when single. I've only had one relationship where I didn't feel like part of a homogenised mass. This may have been down to myself not setting adequate boundaries. I felt I'd lost something of myself within the relationship. 2
Bialy Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 Maybe! A good relationship will give you a balance - the ability to be an individual, but to also appreciate the support, love, and fun that comes with a solid relationship. 2
SerCay Posted July 31, 2016 Posted July 31, 2016 I'm a fan of the concept "getting to know yourself before getting a relationship" Too many people in our society today are afraid of being alone. There is a lot of social pressure on people (like myself) that decide to remain single for a while. They are regarded as "weird." Nevertheless, I feel comfortable, I am happy and I grow as a person a lot at this moment....whereas when I would have a relationship, I would not be able to spend as much time on myself as I do now. I can totally get some people deciding to be alone forever as well, and truly believe that it's a flaw in society to pressure everyone into (at least thinking) that one should thrive through a relationship at all times. 1
l8estnews Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 I don't know. Maybe. I have been single my whole life and, sometimes I do want to try and be in a relationship. But I guess my independence and individuality has already rooted itself in my mind and heart. Not to mention my on-going trust issues and severe cynical views in terms of relationships. Do I want to be in a relationship? Yes. Do I want to be engulfed on that blissful feeling? Yes, but I am scared. LOL.
sorano Posted August 1, 2016 Posted August 1, 2016 I said this before as well. IMO some of us are meant to be single. I am one of them. It it what it is. Take time and dont rush it. Me, I am done.
thecrucible Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I think that it is more natural for people to pair up. I don't judge people who aren't. I'm single myself. If I feel trapped in a relationship, it's not the right one. I'm still hoping to find that true authentic relationship which won't be perfect but will feel pretty awesome.
sugarpuss Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I understand where you're coming from. I also feel more alive when I'm single, but it's not always a good thing. The highs are really high and the lows are really low. I feel like I'm flatlining when I'm in a relationship, like the sense of stability bores me. I chalk it up to just not finding the right person yet but who knows.
SpiralOut Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 (edited) I stayed single deliberately for a number of years while I worked on myself. I feel happier when I am in a relationship, but I enjoyed my time alone. I still give myself lots of alone time. My partner knew that about me from the very start, and he respects that. So yeah, I think some people are better off single, whether it is temporary or long-term. It depends on the person and the situation. It is better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship, that's for sure. Edited August 2, 2016 by SpiralOut 1
Els Posted August 2, 2016 Posted August 2, 2016 I think the 'downsides' you mention can be avoided with a compatible partner and making sure to take personal time to enjoy hobbies and friends outside the relationship. I've never truly experienced the downsides you mention, but one downside I HAVE experienced is geographical restriction. If you're single, you can live pretty much... anywhere. In a R, unless you want it to be an indefinite LDR, you need to try to live and work in the same place. Of course, I find the upsides of being in a happy LTR to be MORE than worth that tradeoff (which is why I'm in one). But it's the only downside I've never managed to truly find an answer to.
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