Nowty V Posted July 30, 2016 Posted July 30, 2016 (edited) I had a four year relationship. I ended the relationship when I finally accepted that she was never going to address any 'issues' she may have but would always tell me what I wanted to hear. To all intent and purpose the relationship was a Car Crash from the beginning. Drug abuse and each having 'issues' that were not adequately addressed. I absolutely adored her, this was not down to any residual issues I may have had in the background, it was genuine. I could see where she was; and it didn't put me off. That woman had a sense of humour that was pure magic, and a taste in music that was so compatible with mine she expanded my horizons. Spending time in her company was always enriching, I would say it was my most significant relationship. I had never met a person before who invoked such respect from me. I knew what an ass I could be when in a relationship. In previous relationships if the Woman didn't like how I was she was always free to leave and I wouldn't pursue her. I had relationships of 5, 16, 3, and 2 yrs before this one. It was a joy for me to address my issues without apportioning any blame or negativity in her direction. It was a sheer pleasure to surprise her with stuff like decorating my house with flowers [i'm a gardener and when I go to town I know how to do it ] for when she arrived, she had a key and I wouldn't be in. I thrived on doing stuff for her pleasure, not for reasons of 'control' as in earlier relationships but for the pure buzz it gave me, and her. The relationship took place at my house, her living with her parents, and as she was the guest I always acted accordingly, I loved it, she warmed to it. Her life had not been easy, she was forged in adversity, she had a deeply rooted chemical dependency on Cocaine. I know how 'Coke-Slags' operate and could never see why she would want to live such a miserable existence devoid of dignity and self respect. She always maintained her addiction and tendencies were different from the norm and too an extent I saw evidence of this. However, if it looks like a Duck and it Quacks.... She did not judge me and I accepted her. I have read threads here were people in similar circumstances have been told to run as fast as you can, away. In the same thread, if you love her truly, running away won't help, you should have stayed and worked it out together. I miss her, I'd like to see her, I'd like to talk with her again. I won't and I haven't Life's a biatch sometimes, but I never made the rules. I think the best thing I can do is cherish the good times I spent with her; and stay well away. I never actually knew who 'she' was, her real issues or the coping mechanisms she was employing [with any degree of certainty]. After four years that is quite scary. Edited July 30, 2016 by Nowty V
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