YourCupOfTea Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Hi guys! Would you text a guy you just started dating when he is on vacation? He suggested before he left to see each other again the weekend after he gets back. I'm thinking i'll wait when he gets back, see if he contacts me after his trip, and if not I'll might ask how his vacation was. But i'm not sure... We only went on two dates and I don't want to bother him when he is on vacation, he is probably busy doing other stuff, but I also don't want him to think that I've lost intrest after two weeks or more. What would you guys do? Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 I'm not sure what a woman would do, but if a girl I liked texted me on vacation it would feel great. Just a simple "Hope you're having a good time - looking forward to hearing about it when you get back" would make me feel like she cared and had not moved on to someone else and would likely stop me from doing the same. All the tricks and games people play with dating really don't matter if the two like each other. If they do, they want to hear from the other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 He's the one on vacation; I would probably wait for him to text me. IMO, if he is into you he will want to share some parts of his trip by sending you a picture of telling you what's going on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MatSweetMay Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 I'm with SevenCity on this, if the guy interests you just show it. No games or pride... and it will also give you a hint if he's into you or not. Just put yourself in his place: would it make you smile knowing that a great girl you just met is thinking of you and wishing you a good time? My motto is this: if he's an a**hole you will get hurt no matter how you play it. But if he's a good guy, being your sweet caring self will definitely take the relationship to the next level. Good luck ;-) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 I would wait, because he is the one on vacation. But, in the last few days of the vacation, I would send a text telling him that I hope he's having a great time and that I'm looking forward to seeing him and hearing all about it when he gets back. He knows you are interested, but you're also not bothering him on his vacation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Since he is the one on vacation, I'd wait for him to contact you. I personally would not be the one to initiate contact this early on while he is on vacation. If he's interested enough, he'll share some of his experiences from the trip with you. If you hear nothing up until when he returns home, I would assume he's not overly interested. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Since he is the one on vacation, I'd wait for him to contact you. I personally would not be the one to initiate contact this early on while he is on vacation. If he's interested enough, he'll share some of his experiences from the trip with you. If you hear nothing up until when he returns home, I would assume he's not overly interested. The problem with this train of thought is he can be thinking the same thing. Don't play games. Do what you feel is right and if it doesn't work it wasn't meant to be. A simple text will not scare a guy off who is interested in dating you. If it does, he wasn't. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 There are no rules because everyone is different. If you want to fire off a text saying "how is your trip going?" then go for it....if he doesn't respond he doesn't respond, whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
Shanex Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 While it's true nothing is set in stones in cases like these I tend to agree with the OP, do text him, he might be busy hence don't be mad if it takes him a while to reply or even if he only reply when he gets back. Just a text is enough though. Don't overdo the thing. I'm sure he'll appreciate, assuming he likes you. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Since he's away, I would refrain from texting him. He's away doing other things, you don't want to bother him. I was with someone for a flash a few years ago and he went away on a long weekend somewhere, he told me he would be away and I said "Okay, I won't bother you then." And when he returned he texted me hoping I got on without him. Then again, another time he went away and didn't tell me where he was going, then when he returned he broke it off. It's all relative. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YourCupOfTea Posted July 29, 2016 Author Share Posted July 29, 2016 (edited) Haha, it's a total 50/50 with your opinions! I think i'll might shoot him a fun text and just take it from there. Mainly because he is away for more than two weeks and that's a bit long to go without contact for me. I kind of agree with the opinion that if he likes me he would not be bothered by that, and if he is then he probably didn't like me all that much to begin with. Edited July 29, 2016 by YourCupOfTea Link to post Share on other sites
dpass Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 If you want to text him, then text him. I hate all the dating games. If he doesn't like it, that's his problems and IMO, something he needs to look into. Anyone who plays dating games needs to do some re-evaluating. Sure, he's on vacation but a text is not going to ruin the vacation. If he's busy, he just won't get back to you. And a quick "I'm doing good/having fun!" does NOT take a lot of energy to write. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 I'm in the exact situation right now but I'm the one on vacation (actually on tour). I texted her Wednesday letting her know I was heading out of town (although I actually left last night) and hadn't heard from her since she wished me luck. This afternoon, I just started thinking "Hmm I haven't heard from her", and she texted me less than an hour after that. It was great hearing from her. Bottom line, if someone likes you, they will be glad to hear from you. It's best to assume, they do like you and act accordingly. If they're losing interest, texting or not texting won't change how they feel... So it's pointless to overthink it. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 hmmm, I think it all depends a bit on where he has gone. If it's out of the country in which you both live, then I'd assume he's in a different time zone, wanting an escape adventure and wouldn't text him--only reply if he texts you. If you live in US, for example, and he's just somewhere else in US, and not on an adventure or remote type vacation, then I would text a little bit. Bottom line though, it's the beginning at only two dates in, so I think it's best if a guy sets the pace. If I were in your shoes, I'd probably just default to letting him contact me when he gets back, as that's what he said he'd do. Wouldn't you only be interested in a guy who could follow thru like that? Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 hmmm, I think it all depends a bit on where he has gone. If it's out of the country in which you both live, then I'd assume he's in a different time zone, wanting an escape adventure and wouldn't text him--only reply if he texts you. If you live in US, for example, and he's just somewhere else in US, and not on an adventure or remote type vacation, then I would text a little bit. Why does this matter at all??? A text is a non-intrusive unlike a phone call. Way too much overthinking and game playing about a simple text message... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 Why does this matter at all??? A text is a non-intrusive unlike a phone call. Way too much overthinking and game playing about a simple text message... Going to the east coast for a family vacation where OP's guy is in Boston doing somewhat normal things is different than him going to Indo on a surf vacation, to give an example. Also there is the unspoken, "I'll be in touch when I get back", which pretty much means "I'll talk to you when I get back". But yeah there are a variety of answers that could work in this scenario and no ONE right answer. OP, should consider what/where he went to decide is all I'm saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author YourCupOfTea Posted July 30, 2016 Author Share Posted July 30, 2016 We both live in a county in Europe and he is with his family who have a house in another country in Europe. No different time zone whatsoever. Very nearby to US standarts I will text him, I think. Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 Going to the east coast for a family vacation where OP's guy is in Boston doing somewhat normal things is different than him going to Indo on a surf vacation, to give an example. Also there is the unspoken, "I'll be in touch when I get back", which pretty much means "I'll talk to you when I get back". But yeah there are a variety of answers that could work in this scenario and no ONE right answer. OP, should consider what/where he went to decide is all I'm saying. NO. It doesn't matter at all! Whether I'm one town over or in Timbuktu, if I like a girl, I'd be happy to hear from her. Again, I'm in the EXACT situation as the OP's date. I've been on 2 dates, texted her "Let's see each other when I get back", and have been really busy and hence silent since I left 2 days ago. I was really happy to get a "Hey, how's the tour" text from her. NOBODY in the history of dating has EVER said "WTF! I can't believe she texted me after I said 'Let's see each other when I get back.' I thought she was the one, but now we're done..." The problem with all this game playing is that it is obsessing over the ones who don't like you that much anyway. If one harmless text is enough for them to dump you, then it wasn't going to happen no matter what you did. Stop trying to seek approval from the takers who don't care about anyone but themselves. The only way you're going to create the relationship you want is to treat that other person the way you want to be treated... Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 30, 2016 Share Posted July 30, 2016 NO. It doesn't matter at all! Whether I'm one town over or in Timbuktu, if I like a girl, I'd be happy to hear from her. Again, I'm in the EXACT situation as the OP's date. I've been on 2 dates, texted her "Let's see each other when I get back", and have been really busy and hence silent since I left 2 days ago. I was really happy to get a "Hey, how's the tour" text from her. NOBODY in the history of dating has EVER said "WTF! I can't believe she texted me after I said 'Let's see each other when I get back.' I thought she was the one, but now we're done..." The problem with all this game playing is that it is obsessing over the ones who don't like you that much anyway. If one harmless text is enough for them to dump you, then it wasn't going to happen no matter what you did. Stop trying to seek approval from the takers who don't care about anyone but themselves. The only way you're going to create the relationship you want is to treat that other person the way you want to be treated... Actually you are not correct. If I said, talk to you when I get back that would be exactly what I meant. Also two dates in, there is no reason to assume I want it to go further and may just be wanting to be on vacation and not having a needy guy text me. A needy text when I said let's talk when I'm back, could tip things in the wrong direction. And Jesus, the absolutes from your end are killing me. You and I have different perspectives for sure--doesn't mean either one of us is wrong. Doesn't mean a "taker" is the reason a person would not welcome a text. It's been two dates, maybe a person welcomes some time and space. Also the one on vacation is in a out of the ordinary lifestyle routine at the moment whereas the one not on vacation is in a routine lifestyle at the moment----to me, that means let the vacationer reach out to non-vacationer. Different perspectives and levels of contact wanted. I'm assuming that's what OP wants (differing perspectives) and she has made her decision about contacting him. I'm sure lots of what people said helped her in that. No one right answer so relax. Link to post Share on other sites
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