fiazzo Posted July 28, 2016 Posted July 28, 2016 Hi there, I was dating a young woman (lesbian couple) and things were going great until in the relationship I realised she was not totally fixed from her previous relationship. we broke up because of this as it was really affecting our relationship in a negative way because of this. She has a 2 year child and was in love with the father but he left her and disappeared from her and the child's life about 1 year and a half ago. As she tells me he didnt wanted the child in the first place. We did fall in love and In the beginning she said she is ready to commit in a serious way but as times pass I noticed her anger and frustrations towards this person was growing so much and she was not showing me signs of stability. Anyway long story short we broke up since 2 months now and just recently after no contact she writes and calls me from time to time to see how I am, I know we both have feelings but I also know she is not ready even now, reason being she tells me about the fact she tried to contact the child's father and he has totally blocked her...to me it feels if a person already moved on wouldn't care contacting the person. I understand there is a child involved and she says she does it for the child...but seeing her strong emotions it feels deep down she wishes to have more. However she told me it's over and it's only because of the child she wants to be friends with him so the child could have family... SO here I am a bit confused...for now I am listening to her to know how things are on the other hand I am wondering if this relationship is worth waiting for, cos it does seems something she needs to resolve and it feels it could take long time for her to resolve it. At the same time I do know we both have feelings and I wouldnt mind waiting and letting her come to her clarity of what she wants but I am wondering it's better to completly disconnect? So I can protect myself too... Would love a sincere and warm advice please...I am new here and this topic and situation is very sensitive for me...Thanks!
juniorrocha Posted July 29, 2016 Posted July 29, 2016 Hey fiazzo, Life is too short. Waiting for someone who wasn't going well with you before is never a good deal. Because you'll never be able to tell when they're ready. If they are ever ready. Each can do whatever they please; personally I would stay away. Like you are aware, she needs to resolve her life before anything else. Just having feelings is not enough. Disconnecting from her would be a good idea. You need to get your life going and having her around will keep you stuck. If it's ever meant to be, then one day you'll find out. Since there are no harm feelings and apparently the only issue is that she isn't over her ex, I would keep the door open. I wouldn't be waiting, though. Take care and I wish you the best.
Author fiazzo Posted July 29, 2016 Author Posted July 29, 2016 Thanks juniorrocha I agree with your advice, however you mentioned disconnect but leave the door open. Do you mean no contact at all? or keep minimum contact. Right now I just answer her whenever she writes me...I think meeting in person is too much at this point as few days ago we said lets meet when we have time...but knowing we both have feelings it doesn't sound good for either of us...
Recommended Posts