DatingLo Posted July 28, 2016 Posted July 28, 2016 I'm shocked. My girlfriend broke up with me by text message, with a possibility of reconcilation after months of dating. Everything was going amazing. The one big problem is shes super paranoid. She has done this before due to paranoia, and reconciled pretty easily, but I don't want her playing with my emotions and trashing me. I'de like to get back together if she can learn to manage her paranoia. 1st time: I received a random text message at 1am. I was honest and said that it was a female friend that used to talk to but we never dated. She accused me that it was a friends with benefits type of girl. I had to reassure her that I loved her etc. She said I valued sex over love, but I told her this isn't the case. We got back together and everything was good. 2nd time: We spent the weekend out of town together. Everything was amazing and went well. I got a prank call with a weird message left on my phone. I had no idea what to make of it. I let her listen to it. Later that day she tells me it was a huge red flag, and accused me of having "sketchy friends" and told me that it was unlikely that the message was random. She brought up the previous text message from the girl (from 1st time) as leverage. She also added later that shes asexual and since I am not it's not going to work. The worst part of all of this is I give her space sexually. Every time we have sex she initiates after kissing to let me know we can go there. She is experienced sexually and initated oral once. She says she wants to be intimate but she wants me to be asexual. This is what makes no sense to me, it seems like an oxymoron. She explained to me everything the best she could. She says she is a super jelous type that is not happy going in a relationship. She believes I meet every aspect of her checklist except that I am not asexual, and she requires it. She has other problems which I accepted because I love her, like numerous relatively serious health conditions, only a high school education and some problems with her figure. She also accepted fully my anxiety and weak social skills.
spiderowl Posted July 28, 2016 Posted July 28, 2016 I think a girlfriend with such unusual requirements has probably got some issues. You can't be something you are not (asexual) - why bother trying to make this work? It's just going to get difficult. I know you love her but she sounds a bit trigger-happy. She must think you are likely to cheat on her because she is asexual and you are not. I can understand that but it all sounds a bit volatile to me.
LD1990 Posted July 28, 2016 Posted July 28, 2016 Four months of false accusations, no sex unless it's her idea, and her telling you how to change so you can fit her absurd checklist. Wow, doesn't that sound just magical? Tigers don't change their stripes. What you got for four months would be what you'd get for four years if she stayed with you. Find a better girl who isn't trying to build-a-boyfriend. 1
fromheart Posted July 28, 2016 Posted July 28, 2016 Well, that's lovely that you tick most of her boxes. There's a big box that she needs to tick for you. Its called, 'Sane and stable partner.' Its absolutely essential that this box is ticked. 4 months is way too soon to have strong feelings for someone. For sure, you care about her. And the best thing to do in caring about both her and you, is to call it a day. She's just not in the right frame of mind for a relationship yet. 1
HopefulJacob96 Posted July 29, 2016 Posted July 29, 2016 It sounds like she is going through a very tough time. From what you've said, it seems as though she has some trust issues that you two need to work through. If she is unwilling to work through those things, maybe it is best to give her time to sort things like that out on her own. It isn't worth the stress to her or the stress to you to try to work on things she doesn't want to work on right now. Don't think that her decision is any reflection on you though. You seem to have done the best you could to work with her. Sometimes people make decisions that are out of our control. In time, things can improve
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