Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

Hey LS,

 

If you followeed my story heres a quick recap. Ex-g/f broke up with me 4 months ago (almost to the day) I begged pleaded, and all that. She pulled away. She had a new b/f in like 2 weeks. (she cheated on me and broke up on the phone) Well itried to be friends, but I could not handle it. So I went into NC. Well after 1 month NC, I have a message on my phone from her. I missed it cause I was at work. Boom! in just 2 mins. she set back a month of progress. In her message she was sweet, and wanted to "touch base" with me. Then she said she may be moving in 3 weeks to the coast for 2 years. Ummmm okay. She will find out monday. My question is simply "why"?

 

I was moving on, NC on both parts and its like, haha i'll just kick your ass one last time. So she is moving. bye-bye, last hopes of reconcilliation. I guess all I wanna know is why she would call and even bother. She always said she cared about me and loved me. She knows I couldn't stay friends, so why tell me this, I guess I was hoping she would fade away until I was good to go and be moved on.

 

So do I call her back? I don't know why I would, I know it would hurt. Deep down she is my first love and I don't wanna just not say bye or not answer back. Hmmmm quite a predicament. I don't even know why she is leaving, but it comes down to 2 possibilities 1) New b/f and her are leaving together. 2) They broke up and she is leaving to go to school. (she was gonna go to school out there, but that wasen't gonna be for like another 1 1/2 half

 

Please help LS

Posted

If you want to know the answers, call and ask.

Maybe she thought it would be nice to let you know that she was moving away. Maybe she wanted to rub salt into your wounds - who knows?

I'd call, get the answers and closure you need, and then look at finding what makes YOU happy.

Posted

I would agree - I'd probably call aswell. It's not showing weakness on your part - it's simply getting the answers you need. Otherwies, in a couple of weeks, you're gonna be wondering what she's doing, whether she's with him....etc etc. So stop these questions rattling round in your head and call her.

 

From the way she treated you, I'd say you owe her absolutely nothing, so if she's calling to try and reconcile or anything (just as friends I mean) don't feel pressured into wishing her well or anything. Maybe she's ashamed at the way she treated you and wants forgiveness so she can move on....but that is NOT your responsibility. She brought that on herself.

 

Or, like Zaira said, maybe she's just being nice and letting you know she's moving away. But she should know that it hurts you to be in contact with her. Believe me - I KNOW what you are going through.

 

It's a cliche, but we really all DO need closure - this looks to be your chance. Don't end up like me, still asking questions months and years later!!!!

Posted
Originally posted by ~Zaira~

If you want to know the answers, call

 

She may just be trying to be friendly. Call her, be casual, ask how she's doing and what she'll be doing when she moves.

 

Think friendly and low pressure, not paranoid ex or Spanish inquisition. Imagine she's an old friend and you're catching up.

Posted

She is now no more your GF, so whatever happens in her life has nothing to do with you , so don't return her call. Let her enjoy her days in new place with new bf, why would you care for someone who treated you bad and cheated and split with you. She does not deserve any sort of sympathy of any sort of communication from you.

 

If you want to uphold your dignity then don't call her and keep movinv on. She was your first love and there is no rule which says that you should always have the same feeling for your first love even you were cheated and dumped.

Posted

I agree with Greenhorn. Calling now, would also be pointless, as she will only know if she moves on Monday, if I have understood the message well. So let her call on Monday.

  • Author
Posted

Thank you for all your replys.

 

I guess it is just a shock to hear that she will be moving away. After all that has happened in the last few months this is just one more thing to deal with.

Posted
Originally posted by NightsEcho

In her message she was sweet, and wanted to "touch base" with me. Then she said she may be moving in 3 weeks to the coast for 2 years. Ummmm okay. She will find out monday. My question is simply "why"?

 

I guess it is just a shock to hear that she will be moving away. After all that has happened in the last few months this is just one more thing to deal with.

 

Tell her to f*ck herself, or nothing at all.

Posted
Originally posted by westernxer

Tell her to f*ck herself.

 

Or touch her own base :laugh:

Posted
Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo

Or touch her own base :laugh:

 

:lmao:

 

Politicallly correct language kicks ass sometimes.

  • Author
Posted

:D lol yeah a really want to sometimes. The utter ability of this girl to do the things she does and not appear to have any regret or realization of pain she caused someone that loved her. F%^$ her. but my damn heart keeps pulling my sorry ass in.

 

Well I called her back when I knew she would be at work and couldn't answer. JUst left a short message. "Thanks for the call, have a nice trip"

Posted
Originally posted by NightsEcho

Thank you for all your replys.

 

I guess it is just a shock to hear that she will be moving away. After all that has happened in the last few months this is just one more thing to deal with.

 

 

Did she care about you while cheating you ?

 

Did she care for you while dumping you?

 

Did she came looking for you when you were crying those nights?

 

If not then why you want to care for you, do you want to join " Missionaries of Charity"?

 

On the contrary I think it is good that she is getting full-proof away from your life, take it as something good happeng for you. It will help in forgetting her.

Posted
Originally posted by NightsEcho

 

Well I called her back when I knew she would be at work and couldn't answer. JUst left a short message. "Thanks for the call, have a nice trip"

 

Damn it ! what the f*** you did ? why the hell you called her? It doesn't matter whether she took the call or not but it showed that you still care for her. Never mind you will be thrown some compassion.

  • Author
Posted

Greenhorn, I was just writing as your post came in.

 

No, its very probable she didn't give two thoughts to me during all this happening. The things that makes this hard is for 3 1/2 years (ok, 3 years) everything was perfect. I think all guys understand what its like to have a girl just seem to flake on you. and ya Green I am kinda looking at this as positive. You know I thought i would be taken back more then I was but I still seem just bitter and pissed off.

 

Bon Voyage ex-g/f

Posted

Wait until Monday. She'll call you again to either:

 

a) Tell you she is really leaving and goodbye or

b) Tell you that she isn't leaving and perhaps wants to talk more.

 

Whatever you do, stay strong. Do not show her any emotions or feelings. Keep them bottled up as best you can and release them when you are not around her. Any show of feelings is a sign of weakness.

 

Good luck, mang :)

  • Author
Posted

Oh and green,

 

If she interprets that message as still holding on by my part she is crazier then we all think. It was literally "got your call, have a good trip, bye"

Posted
Originally posted by NightsEcho

Greenhorn, I was just writing as your post came in.

 

No, its very probable she didn't give two thoughts to me during all this happening. The things that makes this hard is for 3 1/2 years (ok, 3 years) everything was perfect. I think all guys understand what its like to have a girl just seem to flake on you. and ya Green I am kinda looking at this as positive. You know I thought i would be taken back more then I was but I still seem just bitter and pissed off.

 

Bon Voyage ex-g/f

 

I am sorry if my words are harsh, but I just can't control when someone is cheated and dumped. Yeah I know what those 3 years would have been. I was also cheated and dumped after 7 years and out of that the 6 years were a bliss and all that happened when I was thinking of settling down.

 

I didn't talk or see her after that and would prefer death to seeing or talking to her.

  • Author
Posted

Wow, after 7 years. Man my condolances go to you after that long, that really sucks. Please don't think I take your advice as harsh. I appriciate it, espically when you have been right there man. If you don't mind me asking, how long ago was this, did you do the usual begging and pleading and stuff? Or did you move on right away? What kind of games, if any, did she play with you? I hate the damn games.

Posted
Originally posted by NightsEcho

Wow, after 7 years. Man my condolances go to you after that long, that really sucks. Please don't think I take your advice as harsh. I appriciate it, espically when you have been right there man. If you don't mind me asking, how long ago was this, did you do the usual begging and pleading and stuff? Or did you move on right away? What kind of games, if any, did she play with you? I hate the damn games.

 

In the 7th year things were not going good, there were lots of fights and frictions. I was aware that something is wrong, but I had so much trust on her that I never thought that there is someone else.

 

I never did begging or pleading after getting dumped but when things were not going fine some sort of this you can say did happen.

 

It was on 12th December, 2004 that I finally opened her mail and found that I was being cheated, called her after that, told her I know everything now, she said I am dumping you forever, I said Ok, came home, it was Sunday, I was shocked throughout the day and night, next day was admitted in Mental ward, stayed there for 3 days, 4th day came to work directly from hospital and never looked back. That sunday was the last I talked to her.

 

Had many difficult days, till now every morning I feel crap and have all those roller coasters but one thing never comes to my mind that is to speak to her or see her. I still can't believe that she cheated me and broke my trust.

 

I have swore never to fall in love again and never to trust a girl again. There was no game between us.

 

I think she is married now and sitting across his hubby's arm right now when I am writing this.

 

well this was my embarassing story :)

  • Author
Posted

Hey man, thanks for sharing.

 

You know what we all act crazy post-breakup...no one is totally unphased by this. and if she is married let the poor guy have her. We need to start a club, Cheated on brothers of LS!

 

Anyway, you are a bigger man then me, why I even bothered with the friends thing is beyond me.

 

But chin up, grats on your recent exam marks.

Posted
Originally posted by NightsEcho

Hey man, thanks for sharing.

 

You know what we all act crazy post-breakup...no one is totally unphased by this. and if she is married let the poor guy have her. We need to start a club, Cheated on brothers of LS!

 

Anyway, you are a bigger man then me, why I even bothered with the friends thing is beyond me.

 

But chin up, grats on your recent exam marks.

 

I have gone through all the stages which you are going through now, LS is testimony to this and there are many posters here who put sanity in my mind those days.

 

Things will be fine, one suggestion though - never compromise on yourself . Never give more than what you are getting and take time to fall in love and always be prepared for the worst.

  • Author
Posted

Well if she does call back or there are updates, I'm coming to all of you for help;)

 

Thanks for the responses everyone, especially you green.

 

I'll keep you updated if there are any.

Posted
Originally posted by greenhorn

Had many difficult days, till now every morning I feel crap and have all those roller coasters but one thing never comes to my mind that is to speak to her or see her. I still can't believe that she cheated me and broke my trust.

 

This is normal and natural after so much time together and such bad behaviour on her part. Every time I hear your story I think how badly she behaved...

 

 

I have swore never to fall in love again and never to trust a girl again.

 

It's too early anyhow. Don't rule it out forever though - most girls are trustworthy and kind and will make you happy. The bad ones just have good camouflage :)

 

 

I think she is married now and sitting across his hubby's arm right now when I am writing this.

 

People reap what they sow. It just hasn't caught up with her yet. It will.

 

 

well this was my embarassing story :)

 

Embarrassing for who? *You* don't have to be embarrassed.... you're not the one who should be ashamed of themselves ;)

Posted
Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo

Don't rule it out forever though - most girls are trustworthy and kind and will make you happy. The bad ones just have good camouflage :)

 

People reap what they sow. It just hasn't caught up with her yet. It will.

 

Someone said it before (was it you Green?) and I'm gonna say it again... you, my friend Romeo, have really mellowed! This new lass must be sumthin sumthin!!! Good for you!

Posted
Originally posted by miss-gonewest

Someone said it before (was it you Green?) and I'm gonna say it again... you, my friend Romeo, have really mellowed!

 

Thank you. That's really kind of you to say that :o

 

And yes, it was that perceptive Mr Greenie who said it...

 

Although maybe you haven't been keeping up to date with my slightly scathing remarks on America on other threads ;) Obesity and intolerance have been attracting my fire... nothing worse than someone fat telling you how to run your life :laugh:

 

 

This new lass must be sumthin sumthin!!! Good for you!

 

She is :love:

×
×
  • Create New...