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Texting before a date (what not to do)...


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Posted

I met a drop dead gorgeous lady on Saturday and very subtly Facebook friended her in front of her date. The next day she starts liking my profile pics so I messaged her this morning, we hit it off, and I setup a date with her tomorrow night. Lots of joking and then sexual innuendo that really got me excited about our date. I ended things with "I'm off to work now but please massage (joke) me any time..." BIG MISTAKE.

 

So she messaged me at 10:14AM with another sexual joke. I didn't reply.

 

Then she messaged me at 12:49PM "Sorry that sounded bad now that I'm thinking about it". I replied "Very very bad but I'm not easily offended..." I continued my day.

 

Then she messaged me again at 3:23PM "That's just awesome I haven't offended you yet. I'm in the corner now because you called me bad..." At this point, I'm thinking "WTF!!! Is she creeping for hours between each text??? Go on with your day already..."

 

Then she messaged me at 5:25PM "Yay. Got a third interview tomorrow. Oh you said I could massage (joke getting old) you any time right?!?!" I'm thinking "f**k me for saying that..." I congratulated her, chatted briefly then ended it with "See you tomorrow night!" I'm really get turned off and having second thoughts about our date this point.

 

Then she messaged me at 7:00PM "OMG I'm such a character!!! You see my new profile pic?" At this point, I'm thinking "For Christ sake STFU already!!! I thought you were gorgeous and now I not only want to cancel the goddam date but choke you also..."

 

So this goes out to all the over-anxious guys (and girls) on LS. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't do this before a first or second date. This girl has the body of a swimsuit model. She had me seriously turned on this morning and now I'm bailing on this date. Nothing more unattractive than needy, insecure, and I don't even know what to make of the last message. Crying for attention???

 

Idle hands are the worst. If you have a date you are excited about, find something else to do to keep your mind off it until it's time to get ready for it. UH. Talk about a total buzz kill... I was so looking forward 12 hours ago...

Posted

You never met her in person???

  • Author
Posted
You never met her in person???

 

Yes I did and she seemed completely normal...

Posted

I'm really not understanding what exactly she did that was so wrong? I didn't read needy or insecure from what you described. I read someone who read your cues, went with it, and was having fun with you. I'm sure she had no idea your attitude turned so sour so quickly for seemingly no reason. :confused:

  • Like 6
Posted

I understand needy and insecure is a turn off. Most definitely. I don't get needy from that though. She feels comfortable enough to message you. Meet her once at LEAST and see what she is like in person. After all.. you already find her physically attractive. Give her a shot! Will be interesting to see if she is all over you like a rash afterwards.

  • Author
Posted
I'm really not understanding what exactly she did that was so wrong? I didn't read needy or insecure from what you described. I read someone who read your cues, went with it, and was having fun with you. I'm sure she had no idea your attitude turned so sour so quickly for seemingly no reason. :confused:

 

Really? Am I way off base here? I haven't cancelled yet.

 

"OMG I'm such a character!!! You see my new profile pic?"

 

Who says that??? We're not 19. I'm 44 and she's about my age...

  • Like 1
Posted

Ugh. I say don't meet her because you're probably just going to be an ******* to her. She's better off without you.

  • Like 6
Posted

Wow .. YOU tell her to message you any time and if she sent you 5 texts spanned across several hours you got turned off? Dude... I find you weird instead of her!!! Did you get a bit full of yourself coz a attractive funny flirtatious woman sent you few texts??!!! Believe me there would be multiple guys she would be texting with and one of them being you... Also have you ever wondered that some of her texts maybe forwarded jokes sent to multiple people even the one sent at 7pm... I do that... I send broadcasted text messages to multiple people at the same time... And many times guys think I am only texting them... LOL and its funny when I tell them... That was just a silly joke I sent to many people...

She deserves better!!!

  • Like 8
  • Author
Posted

It's actually been almost 100 texts. Those were just the start of each convo. I don't know. I have a job and can't text like a teenager all day and all night on a Wednesday...

Posted
Really? Am I way off base here? I haven't cancelled yet.

 

"OMG I'm such a character!!! You see my new profile pic?"

 

Who says that??? We're not 19. I'm 44 and she's about my age...

 

People who posted something funny and want their friends to have a good laugh..!! They say such things... She may have texted it to all her friends as a joke including you..!

Posted
It's actually been almost 100 texts. Those were just the start of each convo. I don't know. I have a job and can't text like a teenager all day and all night on a Wednesday...

 

Then u r not the right match for her... 100 texts is like nothing!!!

Maybe my friends and I are big texters so we dont mind it..

  • Author
Posted (edited)
Then u r not the right match for her... 100 texts is like nothing!!!

Maybe my friends and I are big texters so we dont mind it..

 

Maybe. What age group are you and your friends? The only person I text that many times in a day would be a GF after we're exclusive or had an incredible date or two. Not someone I just met for 10 minutes and barely asked out on a date...

Edited by CryForNoOne
Posted

I would love it if a gorgeous woman sent me 100 texts. You don't sound like you are right for her.

  • Like 6
Posted
Ugh. I say don't meet her because you're probably just going to be an ******* to her. She's better off without you.

 

Sorry 100 texts from someone I barely know when I've already said "good day" a couple times is a bit off-putting.

 

I'm sensing a bit of a double standard here. Ladies, you mean to tell me if a guy texts you a 100 times continuously throughout the day and you barely respond, your not going to have ANY second thoughts about a first date? Really now???

  • Like 4
Posted

You're right to feel put-off by her continuous texting but your mistake was that you didn't communicate with her properly that she shouldn't flog you with messages and that you much rather have the chit chat in person.

 

As for the rest of the pro-texting guys posting comments in here, just a bit of advice; Stop texting women like it's about to go out of fashion. You might think they like it but in reality you're shooting yourselves on the foot (with a bazooka).

  • Like 6
Posted

It doesn't matter if anyone here thinks you overreacted. What matters is that you're put off by her behaviour.

 

I hate constant texting too. 100 texts is too much. No need to be judgey about her. Just tell her the texting was too much and you're probably not a good fit.

If you continue this, one or both of you will be frustrated with the other's communication style.

 

Any man who refuses to pick up a phone to call me gets one chance after I tell him that I don't text. After that I'm done. Texting is the worst damn thing invented.

  • Like 2
Posted
I met a drop dead gorgeous lady on Saturday and very subtly Facebook friended her in front of her date. The next day she starts liking my profile pics so I messaged her this morning, we hit it off, and I setup a date with her tomorrow night. Lots of joking and then sexual innuendo that really got me excited about our date. I ended things with "I'm off to work now but please massage (joke) me any time..." BIG MISTAKE.

 

So she messaged me at 10:14AM with another sexual joke. I didn't reply.

 

Then she messaged me at 12:49PM "Sorry that sounded bad now that I'm thinking about it". I replied "Very very bad but I'm not easily offended..." I continued my day.

 

Then she messaged me again at 3:23PM "That's just awesome I haven't offended you yet. I'm in the corner now because you called me bad..." At this point, I'm thinking "WTF!!! Is she creeping for hours between each text??? Go on with your day already..."

 

Then she messaged me at 5:25PM "Yay. Got a third interview tomorrow. Oh you said I could massage (joke getting old) you any time right?!?!" I'm thinking "f**k me for saying that..." I congratulated her, chatted briefly then ended it with "See you tomorrow night!" I'm really get turned off and having second thoughts about our date this point.

 

Then she messaged me at 7:00PM "OMG I'm such a character!!! You see my new profile pic?" At this point, I'm thinking "For Christ sake STFU already!!! I thought you were gorgeous and now I not only want to cancel the goddam date but choke you also..."

 

So this goes out to all the over-anxious guys (and girls) on LS. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't do this before a first or second date. This girl has the body of a swimsuit model. She had me seriously turned on this morning and now I'm bailing on this date. Nothing more unattractive than needy, insecure, and I don't even know what to make of the last message. Crying for attention???

 

Idle hands are the worst. If you have a date you are excited about, find something else to do to keep your mind off it until it's time to get ready for it. UH. Talk about a total buzz kill... I was so looking forward 12 hours ago...

 

I don't get it you hit on a women who was on a date with ANOTHER man, yet she adds you and doesn't blows you off infront of him. And she is texting you consantly sexual messages, then is like "did you see my FB picture, like me"

 

I might be conservative, but I think a woman you met is just a good looking player who likes to tease along men and enjoys attention a lot.

 

I don't understand why wouldn't you continue seeing her just for fun as some fling and have some fun, since she is obvously sexually interested in you?

Posted

All I wanted to say is that if I were on a date and some hot sucesfull 15 year older men in Armani suit flirts with me on my date...

 

I'd probably be really ashamed because of the fact that someone is brutally hitting on me while I am on a date with my **** buddy, bf, or just a guy I've met 3 days ago too.

 

So a girl likes attention and dates multiple people and always need an aproovment from the others of her body and looks because she is I guess insecure and thinks likes on FB will boost her ego.

 

My point is unless you want just some casual sexual hookup with her, just leave and everybody is happy.

 

I have a friend who is like that girl. She always texts to multiple men and dates couple of men in the same time, she puts hot photos on her FB to get as many likes as she can because she is insecure. She exchanges 1000 messages with men. Yet the only thing she doesn't do is that she sleeps with any of them, she is 28 and had just one BF of 9 years.

She tells me she doesn't like any of them and mostly they start to annoy her, so she is always online dating and echaning a lot of sexual messages with different men.

Posted

I would probably see where it went and then make a decision. At the least, she might be a really good lay you can get with for a while.

 

Some of these needy chicks are hyenas in the sack

Posted

What was the bad sexual joke she told? Unless it involved some type of sexual assault, I can't see how it would change your mood after telling her she could "massage" you. and 100 texts? If you're texting back and not saying "stop texting me", that's called a conversation.

 

Sounds like she just wanted to talk to you and figured you were cool with it what with your massage text and whatnot. and if you continued to respond to her, it wouldn't be shocking that she came to the conclusion you wanted to keep texting.

 

Better advice, if you're not big on texting, don't text your dates outside of setting up plans.

Posted

So call it off and don't go out with her then. I'll bet you a hundred bucks you'll still go out with her.

  • Like 1
Posted

That much texting would make me nuts, too.

 

That said, you did tell her to message you whenever she wanted and engaged in the conversations. Your "see you tomorrow" may have been subtle a cue for her that she should stop.

 

I'm guessing she is very outgoing and likes a lot of attention. Might not be a match, regardless how she looks.

  • Author
Posted
All I wanted to say is that if I were on a date and some hot sucesfull 15 year older men in Armani suit flirts with me on my date...

 

I'd probably be really ashamed because of the fact that someone is brutally hitting on me while I am on a date with my **** buddy, bf, or just a guy I've met 3 days ago too.

 

That's not what happened. I'm a lead singer in a rock band and they approached me after a show. It was a friendly meet and greet but I picked up on subtle eye contact and body language from her and we innocently friended each other Facebook so she could follow the band.

Posted
Sorry 100 texts from someone I barely know when I've already said "good day" a couple times is a bit off-putting.

 

I'm sensing a bit of a double standard here. Ladies, you mean to tell me if a guy texts you a 100 times continuously throughout the day and you barely respond, your not going to have ANY second thoughts about a first date? Really now???

 

Ladies, you mean to tell me if a guy texts you a 100 times continuously throughout the day and you barely respond, -- The mature, saavy women on this boards have responded to threads regarding this scenario and have told those women to run for the hills :) This is over the top, especially for a 44 year old woman. I thought I was reading about a 20 something . . . and even then it's a bit immature and too much innuendo for where you are in the dating scenario.

 

Usually, when guys come on this hard and fast, they burn out just as fast.

Women who do this are attention-seekers and/or desperate.

  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted
What was the bad sexual joke she told? Unless it involved some type of sexual assault, I can't see how it would change your mood after telling her she could "massage" you. and 100 texts? If you're texting back and not saying "stop texting me", that's called a conversation.

 

Sounds like she just wanted to talk to you and figured you were cool with it what with your massage text and whatnot. and if you continued to respond to her, it wouldn't be shocking that she came to the conclusion you wanted to keep texting.

 

Better advice, if you're not big on texting, don't text your dates outside of setting up plans.

 

It wasn't a bad joke. That's why it seemed odd she started fretting over it two hours later. She started the sexual innuendo, saying she loves to masturdate (Conan O'Brien phrase), and I just followed her lead. Later, she said "When we go to dinner, let's masturdate at separate tables" and I said "Only if I you let me watch". She ended with "Let's shake on that, but maybe with my other hand..."

 

One thing that made it worse was that it wasn't text messaging but the really annoying Facebook Messenger app. Every time she sent a message, it popped up really in my face and I had to minimize it. I also couldn't read anyone else's messages without the app sending her a check mark indicating I read hers. That really exacerbated things as I'm trying to use my phone for work and message after message keeps popping up endlessly. I figured one word responses or only replying to every fifth message or "See you tomorrow night" would be a subtle hint, but no...

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