worriedlover27 Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 I apologize, this is long but please bear with me!! There is this chick that my boyfriend is friends with. They live in the same city but don't see each other often. They may cross paths at a random bar. When we were talking about our sexual history, he told me they went out once and he tried to date her but she wasn't interested. They also fooled around. Kinda made me feel a little weird because he wanted to date her but she didn't. Well, awhile ago I talked to one of his family members and we were both drunk and gossiping (basic drunk girl talk) and we got on the subject of this chick. She then proceeds to tell me that when her and my boyfriend were hanging out at a bar, they crossed paths with her and decided to hang out. He went to the bathroom and then the chick confesses that he is always stalking her (always running into each other and I'm guessing liking her **** on social media. I do know she deleted him on Facebook). I was shocked. I mean all this was before me but it was definitely something I didn't want to know. And of course my radar intuition is literally flying off the handle. I know this is wrong but i went through his internet history and saw that he had been googling her. Not all the time but at least a couple times a month. Okay wtf? I get it, it's natural to look up exes once in a blue moon but that many times? And being given the information that she thought he was stalking her? Fast forward to yesterday, I was looking at my Instagram and saw that he had just followed her. I look at her name, her middle name is my name. Wtf??? I am insanely creeped out and that's when I realize, he is not over her. We have been together almost 2 years and he still tries to keep tabs on her. It gets worse. I decided I needed to bring it up to him. I didn't tell him I looked through his internet history but only what she had said, that he is following her on IG (she is not following him back) and the fact he is obviously not over her. He told my I was being crazy and he just started following people from his contacts. So today after the huge argument and being forced to let it go, I was out with my boyfriend and he decides to capture an image for his Instagram. I am watching him do it, and I see that when he goes to caption it, her username comes up! I say to him oh my gosh you have totally been all over her account. He says well yea I looked her up after our argument last night. WHAT THE FLYING ****. Seriously?? Am I overreacting? Am I crazy? How do you listen to your girlfriends concern about some chick you liked in the past your obviously not over and then leave the conversation just to go look her up??? We just moved in together and now that this is all happening, I don't know what to do. Because of his actions, do I have the right to ask him to block her? Please advise. 1
Satu Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 99% of the time, if something has a feeling of 'wrongness' about it, there's something wrong about it. I don't get the feeling of 'high wrongness' about this, but you set yourself up by digging into his past, discussing his past with somebody else, and snooping on his comms. So there's some 'wrongness' generated by your actions, too. I think you moved in together too soon, but as the Thane of Cawdor said: "Whats done is done." You both need to talk about this in an adult way. Take care.
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