masaki1085 Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 For more background, check out my post "Need Advice - asking out a coworker" a little further down in this forum. Basically, the gist of the situation is this: There is this girl that I have worked with at a part-time job for a couple years off and on (because we both leave town for school) that I have recently taken interest in. After my last post's replies encouraging me that I have nothing to lose by doing so, I want to ask her to hang out. The situation's a little more complicated, I think now. While trying to figure a way to ask her to hang out, she mentioned last weekend that she was going to this event downtown with a few of her friends and invited me to join them. It was a strange day, because I had never hung out with this girl before (the coworkers), and I had never met any of these friends of hers before. It felt very awkward, actually, because I was sort of the outsider in this situation. As we made plans, too, we also exchanged numbers. The gist of that situation was simply, she asked me to hang out with her and gave me her number before I had a chance to ask her to hang out with me. Even though the day felt awkward, it was because I felt out of the loop. The girl is still cool, and I'd still like to get to know her better. Here is the problem: I've been trying to wait for her to sign on IM again, since this is the way we've mostly been talking. Even though I have her number, I'm kinda worried that calling her may be way too forward (I think when we exchanged numbers, it was moreso for the purpose of the downtown event) at this point. She hasn't been signing on IM, though. And I have a feeling I won't catch her for awhile because we work opposing shifts at work the next few days (so I'll just see her in passing, and I probably won't be able to catch her on IM during those days). I'd ask her at work, but I don't want to make a specticle or embarrass her. I would like to keep this whole thing on the downlow from the work environment for the time being. The point is that I really don't know how to get ahold of her easily. Should I wait for her to sign on IM? Should I be ballsy and call her? Should I be even more ballsy and suggest while at work that sometime we should hang out? Should I just be patient, too? The need to pursue this is burning, and I just feel like I need to ask her and get it over with. Let me know if I need to explain anything more, or if this post doesn't make much sense. I'm pretty tired as of this writing. Thanks!
laRubiaBonita Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 why not Email her or IM, and ask, if it would be OK to call her.
Devildog Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Call her and ask her if she would like to do something sometime. Lunch, coffee, something light, not a full blown date. Try to make it where you both have time though. That way if things don't seem to be clicking, you don't have hours to spend. But if they do click, you don't have to cut it short. Recently, I decided to call a former co-worker from years back, out of the blue. Asked her to lunch which turned out to be a 5 hour lunch of talking, catching up on our lives, and basically having a great time. Followed two days later hanging out the entire day together, like 11 hours. Because I decided to take the chance and make a call to someone I hadn't seen or talked to in years. So take a chance or ask yourself "what if?" for the rest of your life.
blue16 Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 You don't want to ask her out over the phone because you are afraid to, not because it is 'too direct' or 'you only exchanged numbers for that one day.' Asking her out over the computer is a copout in my opinion, it's so easy to hide behind the screen and say a bunch of stuff. You gotta just go for it and do it over the phone/in person. You will be nervous, that's a given...but you have to learn how to ask out people outside of the computer. I guarantee you will get a lot more respect for asking her out either on the phone or face to face. I know this from experience. And given the fact you never see her online, time is ticking when you could be making a move. Call her up and ask her to get together to do something, I guarantee you if she is interested she's not gonna say to herself "why is he calling me on the phone, I thought we only exchanged numbers for that one event??!!" she's gonna respect you for making a bold, confident move. Good luck.
laRubiaBonita Posted June 30, 2005 Posted June 30, 2005 Originally posted by blue16 You don't want to ask her out over the phone because you are afraid to, not because it is 'too direct' or 'you only exchanged numbers for that one day.' Asking her out over the computer is a copout in my opinion, it's so easy to hide behind the screen and say a bunch of stuff. You gotta just go for it and do it over the phone/in person. You will be nervous, that's a given...but you have to learn how to ask out people outside of the computer. I guarantee you will get a lot more respect for asking her out either on the phone or face to face. I know this from experience. And given the fact you never see her online, time is ticking when you could be making a move. Call her up and ask her to get together to do something, I guarantee you if she is interested she's not gonna say to herself "why is he calling me on the phone, I thought we only exchanged numbers for that one event??!!" she's gonna respect you for making a bold, confident move. Good luck. agreed! Plus, in person/ on the phone you can usually gauge reaction better.
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