TooRational Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 Hi guys, Slowly getting back into dating after an 18 years relationship and I need some advice and I might sound like an inexperienced teenager because I have limited dating experience. I basically need basic advice on how to move forward with a girl I met how is fairly introvert and shy, just like me. I want to know if she's into me or not. So I met this girl hiking this weekend (group activity). She cared pooled in my car with others so we got to chat a bit, and during the hikes we were camera buddies, taking each other pictures. We were always with people so we didn't get a chance for long one-on-one conversations. There was almost no flirting because I'm pretty sure that we're both just bad at it. She might be thinking that I think she's too old for me (I'm 38, she's 46 with much older kids than me). But I somehow feel that there's something there. For example, she suggested for me to sit next to her at the restaurant when went to instead of the other girl we were with (she's 56 and clear for everyone that she's too old). Now we're friends on Facebook and chatted a bit last night about pictures and some project I have going on. Nothing tonight. I was gonna initiate something but got too busy. Since we didn't meet through OLD, our mutual intentions aren't clear, I mean, they are not even for me. I'm not looking for a LTR at this point but I'd like having light fun together (I.e) sex but I'm not sure she'd be interested in that too soon. I really don't want to be put in a situation where I give her false hopes about he future just to have sex with her. To compound the difficulty, I'm very busy for the next 7 days with renovations so wouldn't be able to meet anyway, but I wouldn't mind chatting a bit. So, any advice? Should I try flirting over text? Keep it platonic and infrequent for now and ask her on a date in like 10 days? Tell her straight up that I'd like to have sex with her in her hottub she mentioned?
winny Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 Why are you talking about dating when you are actually looking for a friends with benefit??? 1
Author TooRational Posted July 27, 2016 Author Posted July 27, 2016 I don't know. I guess I'm confused and not sure what I want. I guess I'm looking for "Tinder-like" dates. Basically I'd be comfortable if we both knew that sex was the primary motivation but you never know where this could lead... I'd be open to a relationship but I think I'm not quite ready and I might hurt people if they have this expectation. On the other hand, I might be ready after all and don't want to dismiss the option completely. I just want low expectations from both sides. The last thing I want is making a girl feel like I "used her" for sex. Since I'm too shy to clearly admit my intentions, I should probably drop this and just go on Tinder when I feel ready...
Dork Vader Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 Why don't you focus on becoming friends with her first? Before you worry about the benefits part. If she suggests or desires more then simply tell her the truth.. I just got out of an 18 year relationship and i'm not ready for another serious relationship. I would be potentially open to a FWB type situation. Most women don't go for the FWB thing though. FWB are complicated, emotions almost always get involved.
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