jay_white89 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 I went on a date with a girl last night that I met on Tinder. We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I liked her a lot, even though it felt like she controlled most of the conversation. She is very outgoing, whereas I am a little more laid back. Anyway, I enjoyed being with her and let her know when we left each other that I would like to see her again. Also, texted her at the end of the night after I found out she got home safe and said we should meet up again. Butm never heard back from her last night. I texted her late, so figured she might have went to bed. But, no text so far today. I didn't ask her right out for another date. But, thought she would at least text me back to say yes, lets meet again. Should I text her tomorrow and see how she is to kind of feel her out? Or should I just let it go and move on? I am terrible at getting to 2nd dates.Part of it is me being picky though. There have been a couple girls I just didnt text after the date. That looking back I probably should have. Any help would be appreciated.
Redhead14 Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 I went on a date with a girl last night that I met on Tinder. We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I liked her a lot, even though it felt like she controlled most of the conversation. She is very outgoing, whereas I am a little more laid back. Anyway, I enjoyed being with her and let her know when we left each other that I would like to see her again. Also, texted her at the end of the night after I found out she got home safe and said we should meet up again. Butm never heard back from her last night. I texted her late, so figured she might have went to bed. But, no text so far today. I didn't ask her right out for another date. But, thought she would at least text me back to say yes, lets meet again. Should I text her tomorrow and see how she is to kind of feel her out? Or should I just let it go and move on? I am terrible at getting to 2nd dates.Part of it is me being picky though. There have been a couple girls I just didnt text after the date. That looking back I probably should have. Any help would be appreciated. Call her, don't text!!!! and don't let too much time pass. Keep the momentum. 2
katiegrl Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 Call her, don't text!!!! and don't let too much time pass. Keep the momentum. I think text is fine.... many people actually prefer texting to phone calls these days. Frankly I don't think it matters much whether he texts or calls... all that matters is that he communicates he would like to see her again.... soon.
HumanMachine Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 DO NOT CONTACT HER She's made her message loud and clear by not replying, she's not interested. Don't make yourself look needy - move on. 1
katiegrl Posted July 26, 2016 Posted July 26, 2016 DO NOT CONTACT HER She's made her message loud and clear by not replying, she's not interested. Don't make yourself look needy - move on. This is true too, although one more attempt wouldn't hurt. If she doesn't respond to that, then move on.
CryForNoOne Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 You did straight out ask for another date if you suggested meeting up again. So the ball is in her court. If she wants another date, she'll reply. If not, move on...
ChatroomHero Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 She read your text. She processed it. She clearly chose not to respond to you either way for almost a day. Guaranteed she probably responded to 10-20 other texts today throughout the day today. She is not interested. If a complete stranger accidently sent a text to her today, you can be sure she would respond to the stranger to at least say, "Sorry, I think you sent this to the wrong number" within a few minutes. You rank below a complete stranger to her.
Redhead14 Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 I think text is fine.... many people actually prefer texting to phone calls these days. Frankly I don't think it matters much whether he texts or calls... all that matters is that he communicates he would like to see her again.... soon. Ugh . . . is all I can say. People need to put the "personal" back into a very personal thing . . . finding someone they can relate to on a deep level, spend time with, see in person, hear their voice and intonation. Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't mean it's the way to go. Laziness is another downfall of the dating world as far as I'm concerned. Texting is lazy and lame and gets boring after a while unless you are some little school girl imagining her prince charming on the other end . . . IMO. No offense to anyone, but texting for the purpose of developing a relationship is BS, immature and lacks fortitude.
katiegrl Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 (edited) Ugh . . . is all I can say. People need to put the "personal" back into a very personal thing . . . finding someone they can relate to on a deep level, spend time with, see in person, hear their voice and intonation. Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't mean it's the way to go. Laziness is another downfall of the dating world as far as I'm concerned. Texting is lazy and lame and gets boring after a while unless you are some little school girl imagining her prince charming on the other end . . . IMO. No offense to anyone, but texting for the purpose of developing a relationship is BS, immature and lacks fortitude. Redhead, we're talking about him making a simple date with her....not having a long drawn out personal discussion about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. That's for in person, not even the phone IMO. However, speaking personally, I have had some very personal conversations via text or email. Especially if it's not possible to meet or speak on the phone for whatever reason. And I know many others who feel the same way I do. Again, what is important to me is the communication. Not the method of communication. Not to mention, many people express themselves much better in writing than they do verbally, so that should be considered also. Texting/emailing is not lazy, in fact it takes more effort to draft a thoughtful text or email than to simply talk on the phone. Talking takes no effort at all. But drafting a meaningful text? That takes some thought.... some effort. I am so tired of hearing "call don't text!" It's so silly. Who the eff cares what method you use to communicate, as long as you're communicating!! Back in the day (before I was around) many a love letter was written as a way to express feelings and emotions. This was widely accepted and many couples even fell in love via their letter writing. Texting/emailing is NO different IMO. Rant over. Edited July 27, 2016 by katiegrl 2
katiegrl Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 (edited) I also love texting or emailing because you're able to save them... and read back, later. To recall a conversation ... to bring a smile to my face. They're memories.... unlike a phone conversation.... where it's often difficult to recall all that's been expressed. I love my emails! Edited July 27, 2016 by katiegrl
Lansing Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 How did you find out that she got home okay? It isn't clear from your message. Maybe you meant you texted her to see if she got home okay?? Did she initiate a message to you at all after the date?
leogirl876 Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 Although I hate games, I'd say wait 3 days and CALL HER, don't text her! Give her a couple days to wonder about you, it helps to build attraction. Then after 3 days, call her to set up another date, don't stay on the phone and talk, just use the phone to set up the date.
Author jay_white89 Posted July 27, 2016 Author Posted July 27, 2016 Sorry, I will go a bit more in-depth. When we left each other I offered to walk her back to her apartment. We were in the city and it was late. She said no that was ok, but for me to text her when I got to my car. I did and asked if she got back ok. She said yes and thanks for the night. I replied back. Thanks, it was fun. Hopefully we can do it again. Almost two days later now and no reply. I pretty much assume it's done sadly I struggle to get to second dates. And a lot of it is my fault. I am usually the one not texting people back. Which is bad and I see that now that the shoe is on the other foot! How did you find out that she got home okay? It isn't clear from your message. Maybe you meant you texted her to see if she got home okay?? Did she initiate a message to you at all after the date?
LostOne08 Posted July 27, 2016 Posted July 27, 2016 If you really are interested in her and you feel like there was a connection on that first date, I'd say try to reach out to her one more time. Based on your last post, it doesn't sound like there was anything definite just a "let's do it again sometime". I think some women might read that as leaving things open or a prelude to you fading unless you set something definite. On the other hand, my general inclination is that if I reach out to a woman and don't hear back, I just move on. In this case, though, I think you can play this either way. The other reason I'd say you could reach out again is because texting is so wonky nowadays. Even if you have a receipt the message was read, you can't be definitively sure she got it. If you do reach out again, I'd definitely call and have plans for a specific date. "Hey, how about X on Y night?" If she doesn't answer, leaving a message works. If you don't hear back then, I think you can be more sure about her interest. Again, normally, I'd reach out once and let it go, but under these circumstances I could see reaching out one more time if you feel it's worth it.
CryForNoOne Posted July 28, 2016 Posted July 28, 2016 Sorry, I will go a bit more in-depth. When we left each other I offered to walk her back to her apartment. We were in the city and it was late. She said no that was ok, but for me to text her when I got to my car. I did and asked if she got back ok. She said yes and thanks for the night. I replied back. Thanks, it was fun. Hopefully we can do it again. Almost two days later now and no reply. I pretty much assume it's done sadly I struggle to get to second dates. And a lot of it is my fault. I am usually the one not texting people back. Which is bad and I see that now that the shoe is on the other foot! Based on this, it's obvious she isn't interested. If she was, she would have allowed you to walk her back to her place. The text at the end of the night was just to be polite. Getting a second date is a different skill altogether that getting a first date. Just keep working at it and you will improve.
Shanex Posted July 28, 2016 Posted July 28, 2016 Ugh . . . is all I can say. People need to put the "personal" back into a very personal thing . . . finding someone they can relate to on a deep level, spend time with, see in person, hear their voice and intonation. Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't mean it's the way to go. Laziness is another downfall of the dating world as far as I'm concerned. Texting is lazy and lame and gets boring after a while unless you are some little school girl imagining her prince charming on the other end . . . IMO. No offense to anyone, but texting for the purpose of developing a relationship is BS, immature and lacks fortitude. I can't say I disagree with that. Also, on a related note, if a person is more interested in mindless and incessant texting rather than an actual date.. my advice is to move on, unless you want a virtual pen pal. She read your text. She processed it. She clearly chose not to respond to you either way for almost a day. Guaranteed she probably responded to 10-20 other texts today throughout the day today. She is not interested. If a complete stranger accidently sent a text to her today, you can be sure she would respond to the stranger to at least say, "Sorry, I think you sent this to the wrong number" within a few minutes. You rank below a complete stranger to her. Hit the nail on the head. Don't ever buy the ''I'm too busy to reply'' (out of work at least)
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