6 months and i still think about her everyday.

[lostboys]

Not sure if i am pathetic loser or not but this great girl approached me around 6 months ago in a local pub i go in.

 

i actually first saw her about 3 years prior to that day as she used to work in another pub around the corner as a barmaid.

 

i used to go in the pub she worked in and just watch her from afar sometimes as she looked so beautiful to me and i did not know what to say her so just drunk loads of beers and eventually went home drunk, sad i know.

 

This happen`d a few times and i stopped myself going in there as it was clearly obvious what i was doing , i felt embarrassed and stupid.

 

about 2.5 years ago i saw her in another pub and i was at the end of the bar and i smiled at her and she gave me the weirdo what are you looking at go away look. so i stayed away from her the rest of the night.

 

after getting really drunk some random guy came up to me and starting asking me weird questions , asking me if this was the losers end of the bar and other strange stuff.

i was so drunk that i can`t recall most of the conversation but i remember making jokes and making references to past experiences in life change people and they are never the same again and that he was too young to understand all of these things , after that i do not remember what happen`d.

 

 

that night was the last time i saw her for about 2 years , then 6 months ago i go in the same pub that this happen`d in and a girl behind me put her hand on my shoulders and starting telling me what a lovely person i was.

when i turned around it was her .

 

this girl i liked and had not seen for 2 years is suddenly behind me and telling me i am lovely ??? why ??

 

i said thanks very much and she walked off with her friends and sat down.

 

i go over to the other side of the bar and have my drink and go back to the bar to get another drink about 20 mins later , when i am walking back she goes behind me and puts her hands on my shoulders all the way back to the bar.

 

i asked her what she was doing and she says she likes me and keeps telling me i am a lovely man. i say have you had a lot to drink or are you drunk not believing what i am hearing from her. she then nervously asks me if i would like a drink which i accept .

 

i ask for a Guinness and she says i only ordered a Guinness because it makes her wait around longer with me, while it settles .

 

i stupidly take this the wrong way as the tone of her voice was not in a joking way. so i say well if it annoys you i will give you your money back you don`t need to hang around. i only came out with that as i thought all of this was a wind up because i thought she disliked me.

so her exact words are "no no no i like you whilst rubbing my arm , there i said it" with her voice breaking. and then a sad look on her face.

 

she picks up her drinks and says i can sit with her and her friends if i want to.

 

stupidly i avoid her the rest of the night as i cant quite believe what she said to me. knowing she disliked me before hand.

 

 

did she send that guy up to me those years back ?

 

i found her on facebook and could see she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before she said that to me so was she feeling down and remembered i liked her all those years back so was i a rebound guy or would she have used me to make the ex bf jealous ?

 

i have not seen her for 5 months but i noticed her out 3 times over the past month crossing the road and walking up the other side of the road , every time she see`s me she looks really angry and pissed off.

Edited July 26, 2016 by lostboys

[Mario2109]

Not sure if i am pathetic loser or not but this great girl approached me around 6 months ago in a local pub i go in.

 

i actually first saw her about 3 years prior to that day as she used to work in another pub around the corner as a barmaid.

 

i used to go in the pub she worked in and just watch her from afar sometimes as she looked so beautiful to me and i did not know what to say her so just drunk loads of beers and eventually went home drunk, sad i know.

 

This happen`d a few times and i stopped myself going in there as it was clearly obvious what i was doing , i felt embarrassed and stupid.

 

about 2.5 years ago i saw her in another pub and i was at the end of the bar and i smiled at her and she gave me the weirdo what are you looking at go away look. so i stayed away from her the rest of the night.

 

after getting really drunk some random guy came up to me and starting asking me weird questions , asking me if this was the losers end of the bar and other strange stuff.

i was so drunk that i can`t recall most of the conversation but i remember making jokes and making references to past experiences in life change people and they are never the same again and that he was too young to understand all of these things , after that i do not remember what happen`d.

 

 

that night was the last time i saw her for about 2 years , then 6 months ago i go in the same pub that this happen`d in and a girl behind me put her hand on my shoulders and starting telling me what a lovely person i was.

when i turned around it was her .

 

this girl i liked and had not seen for 2 years is suddenly behind me and telling me i am lovely ??? why ??

 

i said thanks very much and she walked off with her friends and sat down.

 

i go over to the other side of the bar and have my drink and go back to the bar to get another drink about 20 mins later , when i am walking back she goes behind me and puts her hands on my shoulders all the way back to the bar.

 

i asked her what she was doing and she says she likes me and keeps telling me i am a lovely man. i say have you had a lot to drink or are you drunk not believing what i am hearing from her. she then nervously asks me if i would like a drink which i accept .

 

i ask for a Guinness and she says i only ordered a Guinness because it makes her wait around longer with me, while it settles .

 

i stupidly take this the wrong way as the tone of her voice was not in a joking way. so i say well if it annoys you i will give you your money back you don`t need to hang around. i only came out with that as i thought all of this was a wind up because i thought she disliked me.

so her exact words are "no no no i like you whilst rubbing my arm , there i said it" with her voice breaking. and then a sad look on her face.

 

she picks up her drinks and says i can sit with her and her friends if i want to.

 

stupidly i avoid her the rest of the night as i cant quite believe what she said to me. knowing she disliked me before hand.

 

 

did she send that guy up to me those years back ?

 

i found her on facebook and could see she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before she said that to me so was she feeling down and remembered i liked her all those years back so was i a rebound guy or would she have used me to make the ex bf jealous ?

 

i have not seen her for 5 months but i noticed her out 3 times over the past month crossing the road and walking up the other side of the road , every time she see`s me she looks really angry and pissed off.

 

 

Why do we always messed up? I don't get it man. Unfortunately, you will have to let her go, you obviously ignored her that night while she was trying to hang out with you. I had a similar situation, but actually even worse. I guess we will have to face the consequences and move on. I can't stop thinking about this girl either, but we, men, always end up messing up.

 

Good luck buddy

[smackie9]

Why not redeem yourself and apologize to her...you acted like a total wiener. She was just being nice IMO...she may not or may not had a romantic interest who knows. It's very possible she was trying to befriend you since you were sitting alone (I'm guessing you were). I think you are blowing this all out of proportion.

[lostboys]

Why not redeem yourself and apologize to her...you acted like a total wiener.

 

yes i am aware of that.

 

The reason is i suffer from anxiety and depression so have trouble engaging with people anyway .

 

i have been unable to work for a while so the thought of chatting to her and having to unravel my pitiful existence scared the crap out of me .

 

The girl is question is also much younger than me , but grown up for her age.

 

i just could not accept she was interested in me , but as you say it could be just as a friend or romantically i am not sure.

 

but looking on her facebook i think she was down because she split up with her bf.

 

i have seen them together though a couple of weeks ago , but dont know if they are just friends of actually together.

 

if they are together why does she look so pissed off every time she has seen me.

 

but like you said if i ever get a chance to talk to her again i will tell her that it was nothing about her that i did not like. it was because of me , hate to think i hurt her in someway just to clear the air , she was so nice and i chucked it in her face because i could not accept her being nice to me. i know i am too old for her anyway.

 

but just want to put it right

Edited July 26, 2016 by lostboys

[mortensorchid]

Guy, the love of my life was a total a****** coward towards me (and no doubt other women before me), he's been gone for 11 years (officially 14) and I still think about him everyday. It's what it is. But it doesn't mean that life doesn't go on, because it does.

[preraph]

Jesus you have a huge chip on your shoulder. You crush on this girl for years and when she finally talks to you, you are mean to her twice. WTF? She probably doesn't think you're nice anymore after that.

[lostboys]

Jesus you have a huge chip on your shoulder. You crush on this girl for years and when she finally talks to you, you are mean to her twice. WTF? She probably doesn't think you're nice anymore after that.

 

well there must be a reason why she would remember me in in the first place .

2 years is a long time to remember a complete stranger.

 

if i ever get into a situation again with her i will just be open and tell her why i could not accept her interest in me at the time. i did tell her i liked her too though so was not completely cold .

 

maybe because i told her i liked her and then never did anything about it hurt her more , i dont know. she only replied with "Ok" when i said it.

 

anyhow since that disaster of a day i have been working on myself and lost 40lbs in weight , she kick started off something in me that has kept me motivated to sort myself out still a long way to go but just this brief moment of her telling me she had some kind of feeling or just interest towards me made me feel human again , no one has made me feel like that in years and never to the extent she did. what ever happens i will never forget that day or her, i bet she does not even know the impact she had on my life, if there is a god maybe it was for us to meet that day.

 

after weeks months years of negativity it`s the small positive gestures that come out of nowhere that make life bearable and exciting.

you never know what is round the corner.

Edited July 27, 2016 by lostboys

[lostboys]

well it would seem this girl is back with her boyfriend , so i guess she was going to use me to make him jealous in the first place.

 

she knew i liked her so i guess i was an easy target for her to use.

 

why would you come onto another guy literally after a few weeks apart.

 

my gut feeling to avoid her was the right one i dodged a bullet , does not stop me liking her but at least it made me realize i did not even like myself as i could not open up at all. i thank her for that. how can you care about anyone else when you despise yourself ?. hopefully i can continue to work on myself and become a better person and find someone who really does want to be with me , not some unstable person who has to be in a relationship to be happy, although i don`t think she is,she continually is putting quotes up about finding happiness and overthinking things which seems to suggest the person is not happy at all.

 

anyway deleting the Facebook and Instagram accounts so i don`t see her anymore.

[jellybean824]

I am of the opinion that if you are unsure about something in a relationship, just ask. Talk face to face with this girl, and ask her the questions you have posted. Is she interested in you romantically? Is she in a relationship with someone else? Did she send the other guy to you in the pub all those years ago? She may or may not answer honestly, but she might surprise you. Sure, you may have made a mistake in your response to her, but it sounds like it came out of a misunderstanding, and was not meant to be a "brush-off." Once the air is cleared, you can decide how to proceed.

[smackie9]

well it would seem this girl is back with her boyfriend , so i guess she was going to use me to make him jealous in the first place.

 

she knew i liked her so i guess i was an easy target for her to use.

 

why would you come onto another guy literally after a few weeks apart.

 

my gut feeling to avoid her was the right one i dodged a bullet , does not stop me liking her but at least it made me realize i did not even like myself as i could not open up at all. i thank her for that. how can you care about anyone else when you despise yourself ?. hopefully i can continue to work on myself and become a better person and find someone who really does want to be with me , not some unstable person who has to be in a relationship to be happy, although i don`t think she is,she continually is putting quotes up about finding happiness and overthinking things which seems to suggest the person is not happy at all.

 

anyway deleting the Facebook and Instagram accounts so i don`t see her anymore.

Dude how could she ever know your liked her?? She's not a mind reader, you never told her, and you acted stand offish when she was trying to be nice to you. You are delusional. There is no evidence to her wanting to "use" you for anything let alone make her ex BF jealous.

 

I think she felt sorry for you because you are a loner that sits at the bar almost every night as long as she can remember and she just wanted you to receive some kindness,........ If you are lonely, have horrible anti-social anxiety that leaves you feeling helpless, then you need to seek out professional help to improve your quality of life. It may not be a miracle solution but it will make things a lot better for you. Right now all you are doing is pushing people away.

[Marc878]

Figure out what it takes to fix yourself. It can be done but only by you.

[biker23]

Dude how could she ever know your liked her?? She's not a mind reader, you never told her, and you acted stand offish when she was trying to be nice to you. You are delusional. There is no evidence to her wanting to "use" you for anything let alone make her ex BF jealous.

 

I think she felt sorry for you because you are a loner that sits at the bar almost every night as long as she can remember and she just wanted you to receive some kindness,........ If you are lonely, have horrible anti-social anxiety that leaves you feeling helpless, then you need to seek out professional help to improve your quality of life. It may not be a miracle solution but it will make things a lot better for you. Right now all you are doing is pushing people away.

 

+1

 

this is right on. Fix yourself first.

[lostboys]

Dude how could she ever know your liked her?? She's not a mind reader, you never told her, and you acted stand offish when she was trying to be nice to you. You are delusional. There is no evidence to her wanting to "use" you for anything let alone make her ex BF jealous.

 

I think she felt sorry for you because you are a loner that sits at the bar almost every night as long as she can remember and she just wanted you to receive some kindness,........ If you are lonely, have horrible anti-social anxiety that leaves you feeling helpless, then you need to seek out professional help to improve your quality of life. It may not be a miracle solution but it will make things a lot better for you. Right now all you are doing is pushing people away.

 

she caught me checking her out a few times smiled at her a few times too, i stopped going in where she worked because of this. never saw her again for 2 years until the incident.

 

i am not lonely never have been never will be , most people have issues once you get to know them so i don`t really need to keep going though that with people, all previous friends have turned out to be jealous back stabbers.

 

i prefer to call myself independent actually , i was never any happier when other people were around so i know its not that .

 

and i rarely drink now anyway so no i don`t sit around bars all day.

 

i just find it strange that someone recently out of a relationship and probably really unhappy because of it goes up to someone and starts telling them they are great and hugging them and touching them when previously all i got back was why are you looking at me looks .

and then starts saying i really like you whilst looking like she is going to burst into tears.

[lostboys]

I am of the opinion that if you are unsure about something in a relationship, just ask. Talk face to face with this girl, and ask her the questions you have posted. Is she interested in you romantically? Is she in a relationship with someone else? Did she send the other guy to you in the pub all those years ago? She may or may not answer honestly, but she might surprise you. Sure, you may have made a mistake in your response to her, but it sounds like it came out of a misunderstanding, and was not meant to be a "brush-off." Once the air is cleared, you can decide how to proceed.

 

i sent her a email after that night about a week later as i found her details on linkedin , i explained everything in it that i did not reject her it was because of me.

 

i don`t know if she got it or not might of ended up in the junk mail .

 

maybe she thought i was stalkerish for trying to find her contact details.

only wanted to say i was sorry.

 

anyhow its over now , i will just have to forget her.

[lostboys]

so confused now

 

in the same pub tonight ordering a drink . i feel something behind me not touching me but a sixth sense behind me . turn round and 80% sure it is the same girl . worried now as she looks stick thin if it is her .

 

i did not even recognise her

 

worried she is ill or something.

 

same person touches my back and says sorry darling when passing me.

 

wtf ? dont understand

Edited August 21, 2016 by lostboys

[lostboys]

1 year now since this girl approached me and i cannot shake off the addiction of checking her social media out.

 

she has been single since august so a good 7 months to get over her boyfriend.

 

maybe i will meet her again one day . or hopefully get over it.

 

god i sound pathetic